


Ours Both World

by ViviWrites, yolo2158



Category: Sanvers - Fandom, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 07:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 79,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15990089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViviWrites/pseuds/ViviWrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/yolo2158/pseuds/yolo2158
Summary: I’ve been around for a while. In the past couple of years, I’ve built up quite the reputation. This year isn’t any different, and I have a new target. I knew this new bet was going to be one hell of a challenge…What I didn’t know is that she would be the one.





	1. The Summer End

**Author's Note:**

> Finally, after a long wait, here is my second fanfiction, a Sanvers Slowburn College AU. You gonna like me a lot as you can hate me a lot ;). This chapter is a prologue. They will start school next chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like all teenager can do, is to have fun in summer. Who ant boring vacation anyway? S I take care of each day to make them as better as I could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a prologue, we can see both Alex and Maggie regular life before they officially meet in school. I think it is a crucial moment were we can picture them and also other character.

 

_«Freedom, a word that’s been on my mind since the day I could remember. The liberation I feel during the summer is the best feeling I’ve ever felt. You’re free to leave the house, not knowing when you’ll return, not having to care. You’re able to enjoy the summer air, to breath it in, and watch the sunrise. You can eat whatever you want, you can sleep like there’s no tomorrow. You can flirt endlessly, you can make out with a girl, you never have to feel the feeling of rejection. Everything’s just so fluid, so easy. There’s no time, no context, it just happens and it works. Nothing feels forced upon you. I thought I could never feel more alive during those times. The summer’s always been my favorite season. I’ve always told myself that there’s no way I would give it up for anything, for anyone. I never thought the way I spent my summer was wrong. I never would have known... but then I met you.»_

 

We were driving in James’ Jeep for the last road trip of the summer. The hot air blew around my face, making my hair whip around my face. I feel free. I want to treasure the last days of summer I have left, memorize them and play them in my head.

 

My friends, James, Lucy, Mike, and I have had this trip organized since the first day of summer. James drives beside me, Lucy and Mike in the back seats. I’m on the passenger’s side, admiring the gorgeous scenery. All the trees perfectly lined up one next to the other. The sky’s blue, the sun’s rising, and the warm air blankets my skin. When James finally parks after a long few hours on the road, I open the door and immediately take out my camera and take a picture.

 

 

James puts an arm on my shoulder, admiring the view.

 

"That's gonna be a great picture, Mags.”

 

"I can't wait to develop it and put on my wall."

 

"When you have it, show me. I like your pictures a lot.”

 

“Come on, I’m not the best photographer in the city.”

 

James look at me with a face that says Stop that right now, you are. I smile a little, looking back at the mountains.

 

"The only beautiful view here is Maggie’s ass,” says Lucy, closing in on us and gently slapping my ass. I look at her and roll my eyes.

 

"Can someone explain to me why we’re here? Don’t tell me it’s for the view, please." Mike said, tired.

 

"Don't worry, we’re gonna go for a nice walk in the forest." James says cheerfully. We stare at him.

 

“Okay, who planned this? I just want to talk.” Mike says, looking around.

 

"Well, this is one of the last things on our Summer Bucket List. So, come on guys!” I say to make them more enthusiastic.

 

"Well, this is boring…" he whines.

 

“Mike,” says Lucy, “Let’s play a game, The Silent Game. Do you want to do that?”

 

James ignores them,"Maggie’s right, this can be fun if we make an effort."

 

 

"You know I would complain about that, but I’m more distracted by these stupid mosquitos!" Mike swats at his arms.

 

"I have bug spray, here.” Lucy passes the bottle to him,

 

“ So now can you play that game I was talking about? So we can have a good time?" add Lucy.

 

Mike stays shut and sprays himself.

 

He passes the spray to the rest of us, we do the same and start to walk in the forest. After a few minutes of silence, minus the slightly heavy breathing, we all start to enjoy the walk. I take a picture of the passageway.

 

 

I like the smell of forest, how relaxing it is to listen to the forest noise. I rather be here a million times more than sitting behind a fucking desk. Lucy decides to walk by my side, we smile at each other. We spot a picnic table and stop to set up and eat. I sit in front of a river a few yards away, I lay my jacket over the long grass and take out my sandwich from my bag. I take a few bites and put it down, pick up my camera, and take another picture.

 

 

Lucy sits next to me and takes a deep breath.

 

“It smells like earthworms.” I look at Lucy and roll my eyes, laughing, looking back to the river.

 

"Beautiful, right?”

 

"I don't know, I don't have a photographer’s eye.” I look at her and nudge her with my elbow.

 

"You know you love me," Lucy coos, resting her head on my shoulder.

 

“Sadly, " I said.

 

Lucy whips her head up and looks at me, faking a mad face.

 

"I mean, women together are either the cutest or hottest…” Mike says unsuccessfully, trying to convince James of something.

 

“Mike, if you lose that game, you have to buy me another coffee!” Lucy yells,

 

“I could use it!” He scoffs and she smiles at me proudly. James and I laugh, knowing she’ll win in the end.

 

“So, tomorrow it’s to the water park we go, guys!” James exclaimed.

 

“I mean, I’m only going for the women in bikini,” said Mike with a perverse smile.

 

“For that, he has a point, ” I agree, raising my hand.

 

“Yeah, okay, sometimes you’re not stupid,” Lucy says.

 

"Oh my god, did you just compliment me?” said Mike, faking surprise.

 

"Don’t get used to it,” said Lucy already tired of Mike again.

 

She runs over to him and punches his chest playfully while and I stand up with my jacket and bag in hand. I loop my bag strap over my shoulder and start flapping my jacket until all the dirt disappears. Satisfied, I put in on. I take a deep breath, taking the environment in. I am glad I took photos, but nothing beats seeing this in person. The eye is the better camera. That’s always what my dad told me when he gave me my first one.

 

I shake my head to forget the past and start walking towards the Jeep. Everyone was tired, so we decide to take a shortcut. I walk at a leisure pace, taking my time as if I was alone.

 

“You’re as fast as a turtle,” Lucy complained.

 

“I take my time, I like to enjoy the moment.”

 

“Why?”

 

“You know, life’s short.”

 

"You’re only 22. It’s not like the end of your life is coming anytime soon."

 

"I know, I just like it. I like to make every day as good as it can be to the best of my ability. I mean, you never know, accidents happen.”

 

“... That’s deep.” I push her gently and she smiles at me, swinging an arm around my waist. When we get to the car, the guys are already waiting for us.

 

"Girls, we don’t have all the day! Come on!" I jump in the passenger’s side.

 

The sun was setting when we get to the hotel. I’m bunking with Lucy, thank God.

 

"I know that deep inside, you secretly prefer to cuddle with Tania,” teased Lucy, knowing it’d piss me off.

 

“Can you tell with my facial expression how I feel towards cuddling?” I replied, glaring at her.

 

“I know, I know, you tell me every time I say something…”

 

“Listen, I just don't understand cuddling. How is that even intimacy? How is that showing love? It's just—I don't know."

 

“Wait till you fall in love Maggie.” I stare at her blankly as if she was the stupidest person on earth.

 

She laughs and I roll my eyes.

 

...

 

When it’s time for dinner, we practically run to see who will be the first to make it to a plate. With my tiny legs…

 

"Last one again, Mags!” Mike laughs.

 

"First of all, I never gave you the right to call me Mags,” I shot.

 

"You're so sensitive, I was just joking with you.”

 

“Well, can I joke with you about you not being able to score a date with Imra?"

 

“Did you say something? Weird, your mouth is moving but nothing is coming out of it.”

 

“Oh really? That’s so weird.” I serve myself some lasagna and sit next to Lucy and across from James

 

"You know, having two tacos in one day is great,” Lucy says, taking her first bite.

 

"But you only have one in your plate," Mike says, squinting.

 

“I know.”

 

James drops his fork and looks at Lucy, who’s proud of herself.

 

"Guys, we are eating, please…”

 

"James, how many times have you talked about your sex life while we ate? Exactly. If I were you, I would shut up." Lucy retorted. James shakes his head and picks up his fork.

 

"Okay, you haven’t had sex for a long time, so I’ll keep quiet for now to not hurt our tough, muscular James.” Lucy says after spilling her tea.

 

Mike laughs a little about his situation and we all look at him. He understands pretty quickly that he wasn’t alone in that situation.

 

"I mean, Maggie too at this point,” Mike said.

 

“Yeah, he has a point, Maggie. When was your last time?" Lucy asked.

 

I finish my bite and answer her question,

 

"Three weeks, I think.”

 

Lucy looks me wide-eyed.

 

"Three? How have you survived?!” she shouts.

 

"I choose wisely, and I was on my period.”

 

“That’s shitty. Sometimes I think about changing sex but after I'm like, nah, dude.”

 

We look at each other in understanding.

 

“Hey, wanna make a bet?" Mike challenges.

 

"No bets during the summer. Don’t worry about me, I can wait.”

 

“I don’t know how you’ll survive,” Lucy says.

 

We finish eating together in comfortable silence, probably because the food was really good. The end of this night is relaxing. We decided to put a boring movie, which, of course, lulls me to sleep. …

 

\---

 

So of course, the next day, Lucy has to wake me up with a pillow to my face.

 

"Mhhhh, 5 minutes!" I yell.

 

“Okay! But if you miss a sexy girl in a bikini, don’t yell at me, I warned you.” I smiled at her and she returns it.

 

She knows how to wake me up me more gently. I stood up and grab some mini shorts and a white t-shirt to the bathroom. I take a long, hot, shower. I put my bikini on first and cover it with my clothes. I quickly brush my teeth and my hair and I’m ready. I was the first one outside to meet James. We wait for Lucy and Mike to come meet with us at the beach. When they find us, we play a quick game of volleyball before going to wait in line for the water park.

 

When it finally opens, we run to the first slide. It was fun, scary, exciting and more. I slide down one fast. My heart racing, I close my eyes. I’ve never feel this free. To test my limits, I split away from the group to go down the more dangerous one. Fear was the only emotion that thrummed through my chest. To stop breathing for a second and feel the nerve tingle from your head to your toes and all the way to your fingertips. A hard electric shock even the most tempest storms couldn’t compare. The sun was rising and I feel it on my skin. The water was warm, and the sky was blue, some small clouds moving in the sky.

 

**Meanwhile…**

 

"Guys, where’s Maggie?" James asks.

 

"She's tiny, maybe we just can’t see her," jokes Lucy.

 

"She told me that she was planning to shower before leaving," Mike adds.

 

“But she took one this morning," Lucy replies.

 

"Maybe she’s—" Lucy cuts James off,

 

"Oh, Wait…”

 

...

 

I was alone at the bottom of the scariest slide, waiting to get on. You needed two people to go down. I look around and found a girl that looked alone too.

 

"Hey, are you by yourself?" I ask her when she turns her head to me.

 

“Uh, yes, I was waiting for my friend, but I’m too chicken to go inside.”

 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna try? It’s closing today, it’s your last chance. I’ll hold your hand if you want." I put my hand open in front of the sexy girl in front of me.

 

She hesitates, thinking about it. Then, a smile appears on her face and she put her hand in mine. We have to walk hundreds of stairs to get to the top, so I decide to make some conversation. What if I can make a new friend?

 

“So, what’s your name?”

 

“I'm Emily, you?”

 

“I’m Maggie, nice to meet you. " I said, all smiles, she gives me one back.

 

I look down at the wooden stairs. I was already exhausted and we’ve only walked up about 50.

 

"Are you alone?" she asks.

 

“no, my friends were just too chicken to try it.”

 

“I can understand that.”

 

“Don’t worry I’m sure it’s not even that scary.”

 

“Thanks, but that's not really helping me…”

 

“I tried.”

 

We finally get to the top after a time where I thought I would have died halfway. An employee up there sees us and give us a double tube. I take it trying to impress Emily and show her how muscular I was. But, I fumble with the tube and fail, which makes her laugh.

After getting the laughs out of her system, she takes the other side of the tube and we start waiting in line. When it’s our turn, we put the tube in the water. The employee looks me up and down slowly,

“You, in the front.”

 

I sit in the front and Emily gets set up behind me.

 

"Ready?" the employee asks.

 

“Not really,” Emily said, joking.

 

I take her hand and we smile at him. He nudges and the let the tube slide down the slide. It was the scariest slide, but the coolest slide to go down. The only thing that wasn’t cool about is how fast it ended.

 

When Emily and I washed up at the bottom pool, we swam out and gave our tube to an employee waiting there. We leave area and I started up another conversation.

 

"Oh god that’s was _so_ cool! Did you like it?” I said, looking to her.

 

"I kinda regret going on…”

 

“Oh, I'm sorry.”

 

“No, it’s okay don’t worry.” I look at her worriedly while she plays with her hand. I notice the blood on her palm.

 

“Shit, did a nail cut your palm?”

 

“Maybe yeah, I take the tube hard in my hand”

 

“Come with me, I think I have some band-aids in my bag.” She smiles at me and follows my lead. We start walking along the trail, when we start stepping on hot asphalt, we walk faster. With the fact one of us was bleeding, it wasn't a bad idea.

 

When we finally reach the changing room, we rush in. I take my key that’s been hanging on my wrist and open my locker. I grab my black bag and open it to start looking for the band-aid box. Luckily, I find it pretty quickly. I hand Emily two band-aids. After peeling off the protective gloss paper, she thanks me and smooths them over the cut in her palm.

 

"Do you want me to kiss it better?" I joked.

 

She laughs a little and I laugh with her, I then turn around to lock my locker.

 

"So, thank you to push me by the way.”

 

“Oh, it was nothing, you were a great partner" 

 

"Even if you were kinda obligated to take my hand…?”

 

“Do I look like I’m complaining?”

 

“I don’t know, you could, you know…”

 

“Don’t worry.”

 

“You’re a real gentlewoman,” She smiles and puts a hand on my shoulder.

 

“Stop, you’re making me red,” I said joking.

 

"My friends are all gonna be happy that I made it.”

 

“You should be proud of yourself.” I touched her arm to show her how proud I was.

 

She looks in my eyes and then to my lips.

 

Oh.

 

I smiled and pulled her closer and she put her arms around my waist.

 

“Can I see if I can make you scream louder?" I said biting my lip.

 

"That sounds like a great plan.” I bite my lips again and take her hand walking back, I opened a shower and push her against the wall.

 

...

 

“That shower was too long, in my opinion,” Mike said, tired of waiting around.

Then, Maggie finally gets back together with the group.

“Well, at least I’m not the last who’s had sex,” I gloat.

"That's my girl!" Lucy whoops, giving me a good high-five.

James crosses his arm and sighs.

“I’m going to miss this…" James says sadly.

"Don’t make this sad!” I said.

“Yeah, the day isn't over yet!” Lucy ads. I smile and we all grab our stuff before we enter in the car. We all get a drive to our home. I was the first one to get out off the car. So, I give a good bye and a hug to everyone and wished to have a summer like this next year.

I then enter my aunt Rosa’s apartment. Happy to see me, she hugs me tightly, I return the hug just as hard. I missed her so much. She then let me go.

"So, tell me everything!" said my aunt Rosa drinking her coffee and waiting for my story.

"It was incredible…" I start.

 

———-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Beep. Beep. Beep.**

 

I opened my eyes slowly and shut my alarm off. I squeeze my teddy bear, who I affectionately named Kiwi. I smile and take a deep breath. The last day of summer, I have to make it the greatest one! I set Kiwi on the bed over the duvet and place my feet on a floor a second while I sit on the edge of the bed.

I looked through the window, seeing the blue sky and heard some birds tweeting. I stand up and walk on the cold wooden floor over to my wardrobe. I opened it and searched for something to wear. I take a blue pair of socks and my blue navy bikini. I grab the first blue jean I see and a lack DNA t-shirt. I strip myself of the unicorn pajamas for the clothes for today. I opened the door of my bedroom and immediately go to the bathroom to apply a little makeup. I like to wear it, not to feel more beautiful, there any chance it would work anyway. I brushed my teeth and I was ready for the day. My mom called us, to told us the breakfast was ready. I immediately take a deep breath to know what it was, it smell pancakes. I grin and I walk down the stairs. I enter in the kitchen and my mom turns to me with a big smile.

 

"Did you sleep well?" Mom asks.

 

“Yeah. It smells so good, by the way. Did you sleep well?”

 

“As usual. Take a plate, sweetie.” I smiled at her taking my plate and serve myself. I heard feet walked down the stair and I see Kara smiled face too enter in the kitchen.

 

"Good morning everyone!”

 

"Good morning, Kara. Mom made pancakes, isn't she awesome?”

 

“The awesomest!” Kara says, hugging my mom

 

"Take a plate to sweetheart. Did you sleep well?" my mom asks Kara.

 

“Like a baby.” I sit on the table and waited for Kara to sit in front of me to start eating.

 

When she sits we finally eat this awesome breakfast.

 

"It's so tasty, I wish I could be as good a cook as you are!”

 

"Alex has point. And has nobody noticed my new shirt?" said Kara now pointing her shirt with a pug on it.

 

"Oh yeah sorry, it's really cute with the pug and the little hurt on it." I complimented.

 

She smiles proudly and we give our empty plates to Mom. We give her kiss on each cheek before to do activity.

 

"So what’s the plan?" I ask Kara. She checks the to-do list.

 

"We start with a movie of your choice, then we go to the beach, and finally, we’re gonna watch the stars.”

 

“That’s sound like an amazing plan. And for the movie, I want to watch Trolls!”

 

“Oh my god yes, I’ve wanted to watch it since the trailer was released!” I smiled and go into the living room and load up Netflix.

 

Our mom prepared popcorn, she set it on the small table and listen in with us.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

**_\- True color - Justin Timberlake, Anna Kendrick -_ **

 

_You with the sad eyes, don't be discouraged._

_Oh I realize, it's hard to get courage in a world full of people._

_You can lose sight of it all and your darkness inside you can make you feel so small._

_Show me a smile then, don't be unhappy, can't remember when I last saw you laughing._

_This world make you crazy and you've taken all you can bear._

_just call me up, 'cause I will always be there._

_And I see your true colors shining through._

_I see your true colors, that's why I love you. So don't be afraid, to let them show._

_Your true colors, true colors are beautiful. I see your true colors shining through, true colors I see your true colors, that's why I love you._

_So don't be afraid, to let them show. Your true colors, true colors are beautiful. Like a rainbow, ohh I can't remember when I last saw you laughing._

_This world make you crazy and you've taken all you can bear._

_Just call me up, 'cause I will always be there._

_And I see your true colors shining through, true colors._

_I see your true colors, that's why I love you._

_So don't be afraid, to let them show._

_Your true colors, true colors are beautiful, like a rainbow…_

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The song stops and I feel my heart warm, I try not to cry because of how emotional it gets me. Kara cries and I take her in my arm. I’m glad it ended, I didn't want the day to get depressing. I turn the TV off and go upstairs to take two beach towels and beach clothes. I grab some boy shorts and I keep the same shirt on.

 

We say goodbye to Mom and leave the house. I put my sunglasses on and smile. We walk for five minutes, looking at the roads and the shops that still have flowers set up outside. The sun was rising hard and it smells, well summer. Our neighbors briefly wave to us and wave them back. Some asked where we were going and we answered at the same time, the beach.

 

We finally get there, but of course, it was full. We go as far away as we can from the crowd and put the towel on the chair we choose. I drop my sunglass on one and Kara and I run to the water. The water was good and the sand was soft. I felt the waves practically seep their way into my soul. I feel more alive for a second. We then try to swim through the waves. We play with a beach ball for a while, but we get a bit tired so we get out of the water and reapply some sunscreen so we don’t burn ourselves. We sit on our chairs to relax for a moment. The sun was dipping and we are trying to enjoy every second of this day.

 

"What did you pack in your bag?" I ask.

 

"I brought _Astronomica_ , in case you wanted to read it with me later.”

 

”Let's read it now. Actually, want to get some ice cream first?”

 

“You know you can bribe me with food.” I laughed gently and she waits for me to keep our place, it's not like I didn't know what was her favorite ice cream flavor is.

 

I walked slowly, my naked feet digging into the warm, soft sand. I stopped at an ice cream truck called Rocki Point.

 

 

 

I order cookies & cream for Kara and a vanilla for me. I pay and take them back to our spot.

 

"There you go," I said, giving Kara her ice-cream.

 

"Thanks, so close your chair to mine, it’s gonna start.” I pushed my chair, scooting them closer together.

 

Kara opens the book in the middle of us. We take our spoons and take our first bite of ice-cream. As always it was so great, sweet and tasteful. I take a small bite, something I do to avoid a brain freeze, which Kara always got while eating ice cream.

 

"Ahhhhhh, brain freeze!”

 

There it is.

 

“How many times have I told you not to finish it in two bites!?”

 

“I was hungry!”

 

“You can’t even appreciate it, eating like that!” She shrugged her shoulders and she flips the page.

 

"Did you bring your pencil and notebook?”

 

"Of course, wait." Kara unzips her bag and hands me a piece of paper, a pencil, an eraser, and a sharpener.

 

I am the one writing because apparently, I am the best writer. Or so Kara says. She’s lazy sometimes.

 

"So we were at page… 150,” said Kara, pointing at the bottom of the page.

 

We read to page 160 and then we got hungry.

 

"We can continue this another time. I vote to go home and have supper!" I proposed.

 

"Yep, anyway, it’s not like we are close to finishing this book soon.” I laughed gently and she follows me back home with our stuff.

 

We walked again slowly to see the shops closing and people heading back home. It was the end of everyone’s summer. I felt a bit heavy, but I try to focus on positive things.

 

...

 

When we get to the house, mom was already cooking, we walk close and hug her tight.

 

"How was the beach?" she asked.

 

"Amazing as always …" I said, happy.

 

“It’s the only thing I will miss …" Kara said nostalgically. We breathed slowly, content and happy about the amazing memories we made this year."

 

"Supper is ready, would you mind setting the table?" Mom asks.

 

"Of course mom, you know that we are always willing to help," I said, not wanting to make her feel bad for asking.

 

“Sometimes I ask myself, ‘How did I get so lucky to have kids like you two?’” Mom said, smiling.

 

We smile back, we try to be the best kids we can be. She sat down with Kara and I while we talked about our day, listening about hers after. We were a very close family, no secrets, just love.

 

“So, the meteor shower, when does it start again?” Eliza asks Kara.

 

"At 9, so we will go at the balcony for an hour and then go to sleep since there’s school tomorrow.”

 

“Are you excited?”

 

“ _So_ excited. I feel it’s going to be a great year," I add.

 

"I feel the same. and I’m excited to see it …" Kara agreed.

 

Mom smiles proudly and takes out plates to the sink while Kara and I go upstairs to pack our things for the next day.

 

We decide to go outside sooner and wait for the raining star. We waited an hour before it finally starts. We smile like it was Christmas Day.

 

“Okay, we have to make a wish!" said Kara exclaimed. We closed our eyes, interlocking our pinkies. I wish this year will be one of the best years of my life.

 

...

 

 

It was getting colder and we decided to go back to the house and try to not make any sound. We get to the bathroom and brush our teeth and I remove my makeup.

 

“Goodnight Kara, I love you.”

 

“I love you too” We smiled and hugged tight.

 

We may not be sisters by blood, but we didn’t need to be to be sisters and best friends. I enter in my bedroom and put my nerdy pajamas, then jump in my bed. I set my alarm on for the next morning and took a deep breath looking the fake fluorescent stars on the ceiling. I take Kiwi into my arms and pull the duvet over me. "It’s gonna be a great year, Kiwi, isn’t it?” Silence. I smiled and closed my eyes.

 

He's always right.

 

Always.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said on twitter, I will be posting twice a month, every first and fifteenth. I hope you enjoy, my friend ViviWrites and I have been working on this for a long time. If there is anyone who has skill in English or writing. we still need help in this fic :)! Hope you enjoy as I did to write it.


	2. The Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last year, I did something I hated doing. I told Mike that it was the worst thing he dared me to do. I should have kept my mouth shut.
> 
> making me want to end all those thing.
> 
> I usually turn down his bets, but not this time.
> 
> I’ll do it, even if it’s her.
> 
> Even if doing his will make me confront who I really am, reveal the real me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter two, the first day of the semester.
> 
> Don’t hate me, and please be patient. I promise that it’ll be worth it in the long run.

 

 

 

«It’s said that destiny can bind us in many ways. We can believe things to be coincidence, but I believe that destiny plays for us, that changes things to what they’re meant to be.»

 

\- Monday, August 20, 2018 -

 

**_Beep—Beep—Beep—Beep—_ **

 

I wake quickly and silence my alarm with a smile on my lips. I turn, and with a rush of panic, I sit up and look around. I find Kiwi on the floor. I lean over and lift him up off the floor, brushing the dust off his body. I place him gently on my bed with a kiss.

  
I walk to my wardrobe and open it, thinking of what’s on my schedule for the day.

  
I’m going to the art room for a break later, so I decide on a white shirt and some jean overalls with a white long sleeve shirt. I take a grey bra with dark stars and a black bikini underwear. I get dressed and I’m ready for the day. I step outside of my bedroom and find Kara waiting for me in the hallway.

  
We smile at each other, excited.

  
"It's been a while since I’ve seen you wear overalls!" said Kara.

  
"I know, it’s for a reason."

  
We walk down the stairs side by side to the kitchen. We serve ourselves bowls of cereal for breakfast. Still eating, we compare our schedules next to each other. I had chemistry, a four-hour break, and then English. I figure I could use the time in between classes to do an art project to bulk up my portfolio, maybe work on things each day if I don't have homework or studying to do.

  
When we finish eating then stood up giving a hug to our mom. We were ready for the new year.

  
Before we leave, Kara says she has to go to the bathroom real quick, so while she’s in there, I decide to check the news.

 

_**~FLASH NEWS-SCIENCE NEWS~** _

_**/** It looks like during the upcoming meteor shower, A planet enters in the orbit of Sanke. It seems Sanke might not be alone in its orbit forever after all. **/**_

 

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~** _

  
**~FLASHBACK~**

 

_Dad, Mom, Kara, and I were all outside lounging outside on the patio. I’m wearing the pajamas that Dad bought me for my last birthday, the ones with the periodic table printed all over them._

 

_"Okay girls, what's your favorite planet?" Dad asks._

  
_"Pluto is a good one," Kara replies._

 

_"You know that Pluto isn't in the system solar anymore, right?"_

 

_“I know, but in my heart, it’ll always be. Plus, if you look at pictures of it, you can see the form of a heart on it. It deserves better."_

  
_Dad and I laugh gently at Kara’s response. Kara was only 10 and I was 12. We didn't know what we were saying._

  
_"What about you, Alex?" Dad asks._

  
_“I kinda want Sanke.”_

  
_Dad furrows his brow in curiosity, “Why?” he asks._

  
_“Sanke’s mysterious, and not a lot of people know about Sanke because it’s not in our solar system. I kinda see myself in it."_

  
_“You know that the solar system is uncontrollable. Maybe one day a planet will enter her orbit.”_

 

_“No way, Sanke is an independent woman that doesn’t need no man." I  deadpan, making everyone laugh._

  
_With a smile on his face, he takes Kara and me in his arms._

  
_What we didn’t know was that it would be for the last time._

 

**_~END FLASHBACK~_ **

 

I was in shock. He was right, he'd guessed it ten years ago.

  
When Kara gets back from the bathroom, we step outside to wait for the city bus. We see it turning the corner of  the road and feel a little stress. It stops in front of us, the door open so we could enter in it. We say a small hello to the driver that we know since we are little and we sit in the first sit available.

  
I always told myself that I could live with being alone my whole life and everything would be fine. I shake my head, it wasn't like a scientific event would change something in my personal life.

  
Kara looks at me worriedly, asking what was wrong.

  
I take a deep breath before to answer, "It's Sanke."

  
She tilts her head in confusion, "What happened?"

  
"Sanke has a planet in her orbit now," I say, hands shaking.

  
"Oh..." she breathes. She knows it’s a delicate subject for me.

  
I look to her face and I can tell she’s unsure how to comfort me, so I decide to push aside my feelings and assure her.

  
"It's okay Kara, anyway it's not like—”

  
"Everything will be alright, Alex."

  
I breathe out quickly and she places a warm hand on my back. I know she’s right, but I could use some comfort. When we’re closer to the school, we lift our backpacks up off the floor. When the bus stops and the doors open, we take a good breath and get off the bus.

  
The only thing I didn't miss about school is the fact that half the school population is practically cookie-cut from some stereotypical teen movie. The hipster skaters, the couple that just won’t stop kissing, the athletes and jocks, the cheerleaders, and everyone in between.

  
I ignore the other people that walk around me and walk side by side with Kara up the stairs. I feel like everyone’s eyes were always on me, but I tried not to focus on the feeling. We finally enter the campus building and I say goodbye to Kara, her locker was closer to the cafeteria than mine.

  
I take my usual path through the basement to get to my locker, alone and practically in the dark. I take my English stuff out of my bag because I start the day with chemistry class. I lift my wrist to look at my watch and decide to go on the spot and take a shortcut on the way there. When I get there, the class was already open, so I settle for a seat in the front. When students started filing into class, I don’t look up. Nobody sits next to me and I don’t sit next to anybody. Unless it’s Kara. If I’m lucky enough to be registered in the same class as her.

  
When Chemistry is over, I pack my stuff and go to my locker to switch my stuff out for my art supplies. I take the elevator to the art area. I walk to an office door and knock three times. The door swings open and I see my art professor, Marthe, who gathers me up in her arms.

  
"Alex! It’s so great to see you again! How was your summer?" she asks.

  
"It was awesome, I’m happy to be back though."

  
"Come in! You know you’re always welcome here."

  
"Thank you. I'm just going to eat a bit before to start," I said with a wide smile.

  
I sit on a chair behind a table near an easel and open my bag to take out my lunch. This woman took me under her wing the first day of my art class, which I will always be grateful for, I’m happy to have her as a mentor. Marthe sits in front of me to eat her lunch as well and we talk about what we did over summer break. When I finish eating, I unpack my supplies that are in my bag. I grab a canvas from the art closet and set it up and the easel beside me.

  
"I have to go to the bathroom, will you be okay here by yourself?" Marthe asks, one foot already out the door.

  
"Yes, don't worry, I’ll be fine."

  
"Alright, I’ll be back fast."

  
We smile at each other and she leaves, leaving the door wide open. I add a few strokes to my painting. I sit in silence for a few minutes, listening to the rhythmic sound of the bristles brushing against the canvas.

"Your painting is beautiful…"

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**-Beep -Beep -Beep-**

 

I grumble, stretching my arm to shut my alarm off.

  
Comfortable under my warm duvet, I ponder staying in bed for another five minutes, but I knew that I would fall asleep and end up missing class. I open my eyes slightly and wake up progressively.

  
When I’m finally awake and alert, I go to my dresser, taking out a pair of tight jeans and a white flannel, and a black Brazilian underwear to match my bra. I put all my clothes on slowly, then brush my hair. Leaning close to the mirror, I put on some makeup, going for a sexy look. When I’m ready, I go to the kitchen where my aunt gives me a cup of coffee and a double toasted bagel. She looks at me with a smile.

  
"Having to go back to school is hard, huh?" Aunt Rose said, making fun of me.

  
"I don't even want talk about it."

  
She laughs a little and continues to wash our plates. I pack lunch for the day and put it in my bag so I don’t forget it before I go to brush my teeth. Ready to go, I give my aunt a quick kiss on the forehead, telling her to have a great day. Then I make my way to the door to leave the apartment. I wait a couple of minutes and then I see James turn the corner, he stops his car in front of me.

  
"Your taxi is ready, princess," he teases.

  
I roll my eyes and sit the passenger seat. James picks up Lucy next, who sits in the middle of the back seat, before heading to campus.

  
"Okay, can we make a vote to return home, arms up," Lucy says raising her arm, as I do.

  
"Even if I raise my hand, we’re going," James says.

  
Me and Lucy breath out and Lucy didn't stop to complain all the time. It wasn't if we didn't put sad music to make the road more depress. When we get to school we park at our usual parking. We exit the car and walk towards Mike and Max who were waiting for us in front of the school. We walk to them, passing by the stairs, group together in a circle, and enjoy the time together before to go to class.

  
"If it isn’t my two favorite idiots!" Lucy yells, referring to Mike and Max.

  
"Greeting us in the most proper manner, I see." Max laughs.

  
I look over to Mike and he seems to be tuning us out, he looks like he’s about pass out.

  
"You sleeping on us, Mike?" Lucy asks, amused.

  
"Sorry, I was just daydreaming," he excuses.

  
There’s a moment of silence and Mike looks to me and smiles.

  
"Since most of the school is still outside, why not give you a challenge?" he said, smiling at me.

  
"What, already?"

  
"Yes, because this time, it's gonna be impossible," he says confidently.

  
"Maggie is the only one who hasn’t lost one yet." Max’s clarifies.

  
"Exactly, we have to change that!" he retorts excitingly.

  
He looks around for the perfect victim. He spots a girl with long, brown, curly hair among a bunch of others. She was wearing a cheerleading uniform and a bitchy expression on her face. A tall, bulky, man in a football jersey walks by her side. He thought she looked tough to crack, if anyone were to make Maggie lose the bet, it’d probably be her.

  
"Okay, okay, I know. What about Julia?"

  
"I already slept with her."

  
His face drops, but he doesn't give up. He spots a relatively unfamiliar face.

  
"Okay, what about Sandy?"

  
"Nope, I’ve already slept with her." Lucy boasts.

  
He sucks his teeth and looks around again, "Stop having sex with the whole school !" he adds, half complaining half joking.

  
He looked stumped for now, but I felt something coming. The city bus stops in front of the school and we all turn around to watch the students who take it.

  
"I’d rather walk than take the bus, honestly, it’s always cramped," Lucy says.

  
"I’d rather ride my bike for 30 min than the bus!." Max says joking.

  
Mike seems to be daydreaming and I laugh a bit. Suddenly, his face lights up, "I’ve got it." We all turn to him at his outburst.

  
"Let me hear it," I say, biting my lips in anticipation.

  
A smirk creeps over Mike’s face, "Alex Danvers."

  
We all look at him in shock.

  
"Hell no!" I protest.

  
"Hell yes!" Mike yells with a barking laugh.

  
I turn my head again to see the student walking seeing Alex Danvers, overalls and all, walking aside her sister. I hear some laughter.

  
"Maggie’s right on this one. That’s not fair, Mike,"  Lucy argues in my defense.

  
“I’ve already made up my mind!”

  
"Come on, Mike, she’s probably still a virgin," Max adds, punching his arm gently.

  
"She is, obviously," Lucy emphasizes.

 

I cross my arms and Mike looks her in the eye competitively.

  
"Do you accept or not, Maggie?" Mike challenges.

  
"Is she even into girls?" Max questions.

  
“She doesn’t really have a choice to be anything else but bi. She needs all the possibilities she can get!” Lucy says, laughing at her joke.

  
Mike sticks his hand out in front of me and everyone rolls their eyes.

  
I look at it for a second, then lift my hand to take his hand confidently, causing everyone’s mouth to drop in shock. I look at them, "Come on, she never gets attention from anyone. I can just tell her she’s beautiful and I’ll have her in my bed like that." I explain, snapping my fingers.

  
"You’ve lost all my respect," Lucy snarks sarcastically.

  
"Stop it, Lucy. I'm sure she’s super sexy in her grandmother’s underwear!" Max quips.

  
"Yeah, and I'm sure she is super sexy under her overalls," Lucy adds, laughing with Max, who gives her a high five.

  
While they laugh, I lean closer to Mike.

  
“How much time do I have?" I ask.

  
"For now, I say two months—three months. I understand that Alex is a tough one."

  
"If Maggie makes it, I call Jackpot!" Lucy exclaims, slapping my arm gently with a smile.

  
"If she even scores." Mike taunts, I frown and open my mouth to protest.

  
"I don't want to interrupt you guys’ fascination about her, but I have to go at my class and I’m sure I'm not alone, we should really get inside," James says, stalling the conversation.

  
We all take a breath and go our separate ways. I go to the locker that I share with Lucy to take my English stuff with me. I was the last one to enter in the class, but luckily the back seats weren’t taken, so I took one that was available. I pass time by sketching things in the margins of my notebook.I don't even remember what the teacher said, I didn't listen to half of the class. When he finally let us go, I jump out of my seat, hurried out of there. I go to my locker to take my lunch, put it in my bag, and head to the cafeteria.  
I was the last one to come to sit and eat with the gang.

  
"One thing I definitely didn’t miss the Danvers kids raising their hands asking questions about anything and everything. I’m not looking forward to that,"  Lucy groans.

  
"We should stop being so rude to Maggie’s new girlfriend," Max said, laughing.

  
Uncomfortable with the word, I cut in, "Oh please, I deserve better than that."

  
"You should go see her and her best friend, the art teacher," Lucy nudges her elbow against mine.

  
They laugh together and I stop for a second.

  
_I mean, it’s not a bad idea._

  
"I’m going to find her, to test the waters," I say.

 

"I'm so jealous of you, I’d pay to be at your place," Lucy says sarcastically, putting a hand on my shoulder.

  
"She’s right, you’re brave, I would have said no. Good luck, Maggie!" Mike says, trying to cheer me up.

  
I smile a little and pack my things in my bag. I make my way up the rest of the stairs and give brief goodbyes to everyone and walk to my locker. I stuff everything into my locker and walk to the art area, hoping Alex would be there. Gladly I had art class, so I knew where the class was. I pass in front of the class looking in it. Luckily, one door was unlocked and wide open when I got there. From where I was standing, I could see Alex painting something.

  
I stop walking. I fix my hair and open my phone to make sure I didn't have something stuck in my teeth. I adjust my boobs and take a deep breath. I lean to the door coolly.  
I got this in the bag.

  
"Your painting is beautiful…"

  
I make sure to keep my expression sweet, but she doesn’t look back. Maybe she didn't hear me. I step closer.

  
"In these times, people said ‘ Thank you,’" I chime a little louder, then laugh gently.

  
She doesn’t make a move to acknowledge me. I was going to make a move to get closer, but the art teacher storms into the class, reaching out a hand to give something to Alex.

  
"Okay, I am back. Sorry for the wait, a teacher stopped me,” Marthe apologized.

  
"Don’t worry, I wasn’t worried,” she said calmly.

  
When her eyes meet mine her smile drops.

  
"Can I help you with something?"

  
Alex finally turns her head back to me and turn her face to her paint.

  
"No I just walked by and saw the painting, I thought it was beautiful," I explained

  
With her hands on her hips, she looks at me, analyzing, and looks to Alex. When Alex look at her she looks force her to answer me to make me leave.

  
"What?" Alex asks the teacher.

  
"She says that your painting is beautiful."

  
She turns her face to me and says a small "Thank you" before turning around to continue her painting.

  
"Oh, do you have royal blue by any chance?" she asks her, ignoring me as if I didn't exist.

  
"Actually, yes, I believe I do," Marthe glances at me one more time before going in the art closet at the other side of the floor.

  
Taking another chance to get closer to her, I take a step beside to her looking at her paint.

  
"I was serious, it really is beautiful," I said, giving her my best smile.

  
She looks at me, expressionless.

  
"It's not finished." she deadpans.

  
"Exactly! Imagine the final result if it’s this good now!" I said cheerfully.

  
She didn't react and make like I wasn't even in the room, even if I was five feet apart. She turns away, walking to a table with a bag on top of it. She opens it, looking for something. She walks back with a little jar of red acrylic.

  
" Do you paint since long?" I ask.

  
She put herself in front of the paint, then add some red and look at me but then follow.

  
"Yeah," she answers evasively.

  
She picks up a pencil and makes some sketch lines.

  
"Did you ever think about sharing them?" I ask her.

  
She look at me like she was exhausted of my presence, I hear the teacher make her way back to us.

  
"Is she bothering you?" Ms. Marthe asks Alex quietly.

  
"No, she was just about to leave anyway," Alex responds.

  
I look at Alex with surprise and then turn to the teacher, her facial expression telling me to leave. With a silent exhale, I smile a fake smile and make my way out of the classroom. Right when I pass the threshold, I hear the door close and lock behind me. This wasn’t going to be easy. I walk back to the table with Max and Lucy curious about my first meeting with Alex.

  
"So, did you two have sex in the storage closet?" asks Max, laughing.

  
"We exchanged 5 words maximum, and then I got kicked out by the teacher."

  
They all laugh like it was a humor show and I roll my eyes.

  
"At least, if you want positivity, your anecdote gonna be so funny," said Lucy laughing again.

  
Mike joins us and looks at me with a smile.

  
Of course, he knew.

  
"I want four months," I demand.

  
"Oh yeah? How’s five sound?”

  
My eyebrows shoot up in surprise, “Really—?”

  
“No!"

  
“Ugh, come on!” I shout.

  
“I gave you three months. You’re lucky I’m nice and didn’t set you back to two,” he defends.

  
“Fine,” I turn on my heel unhappily, leaving Mike in the dust. After a minute of walking, in the hallway. Already cooled off, I head to my History of Art class.  
When the day finally ends, I rush out to the parking lot and beeline towards James’ car. I lean on the passenger’s side and when it unlocks, I hop in. James sits beside me a second later and starts the engine.

  
“Home?” he asks.

  
“Home.”

  
He reverses out of the parking space and begins to drive the way towards the apartment. When we get there, I exit the car, swing my bag over my shoulder, and shut the door behind me.

  
"Try to not think about Alex too much!" James hollers, his voice muffled through the glass.

  
I lean over so he could see my face, "Ha, ha, ha, real funny!" I say sarcastically.

  
James smiles, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  
“See you!” I wave at him through the glass, “Thanks for the drive!”

  
“You’re welcome!” he shouts, he puts the gear to drive and drives off.

  
I walk up the two flights of stairs in my apartment building and unlock the door. I go to my room to put my stuff down and run to the kitchen to prepare a meal for my aunt and me.

  
About a half hour later when I’m serving a portion of lasagna, I hear the telltale scrape of the door-lock. When my aunt enters, she lets out a loud sigh. I hear her steps coming towards the kitchen, she gives me a kiss on the cheeks, takes a seat at the table, and asks about my day.  
"Horrible!" I jeer, placing a spoon and full plate in front of her. I go back towards the tray and serve a portion of food for myself.  
She laughs, telling me about her day at the restaurant, Sunshine.

  
I work there in the summer and some weekend. A place where gladly none of the school know the place.

  
We talk for a while, and when it gets a little later when the sun’s down, I tell her that I’m going to my room to rest. I shut the door to my room behind me a swipe a MODE magazine off my bureau. I shuffle towards my bed and get comfortable before I open it. Just inside below the MODE cover is a Science Magazine.

I put my headphones in my ear and set it to shuffle.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

**_\- The Weekend - I can't feel my face -_ **

 

 _~And I know she'll the death or me, at least we'll both be numb._  
_And she'll always be the best of me, the worst is yet to come._  
_But at least we'll both be beautiful and stay forever young_  
_This I know_  
_She told me " Don't worry about it"_  
_She told me " Don't worry no more"_  
_We both knew we can't go without it._  
_She told me " You'll never be alone"_  
_I can't feel my face when I'm with you, but I love it_  
_All this misery was necessary when we're deep in love_

 

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

 

I advance my painting as much as I can and then pack up my things. I thank Marthe for letting me hang out in her class and head to my English class. The student weren't any more attentive than they were in the last class. I text Kara when my class finishes.

  

_Hey Kara, I just got out of class, you?_

_Kara: Yeah, I finished 10 minutes ago. I'm with Winn and Lena in the cafeteria if you want to join us_ :) !

_Alex: No it's okay. Thanks for the invitation. I'll be waiting for the bus outside._

_Kara: Okay, I'll be there in a couple of minutes._

 

  
After the text, I head to the bus. Then I open the Science News app to read more about Sanke, which seems to be a hot topic right now. I didn't get to read much by the time Kara storms next to me.

  
"I’m here, I’m here!"

  
I lock my phone and slip in into my pocket, " Hey, how was your first day?"

  
"Fantastic! My classes are amazing, my teachers are amazing. It was nice to see everyone again, too. You?"

  
The bus turns the corner and we hop on when it stops in front of us. We take the same seats we did earlier today.

  
"Same. Plus, I saw Marthe today! She let me paint in her class during my free period. "

  
"Nice. Anything else exciting happens today?"

  
I think about my day in general and shrug. "Well, Marthe found my royal blue," I add, smiling.

  
"Oh, are you painting your bedroom that color?"

  
"No I’m going for a light electric blue, she told me that dark colors make the place is smaller."

  
"Oh, that's sucks."

  
"I mean, it can't be any smaller than it already is," I joke, making Kara laugh with me.

  
When we get to our stop, we briefly wave goodbye to the bus driver and step off. When we’re home, mom is already cooking supper, which Kara and I begin to help her with. I show the color I wanted for my bedroom to my mom and Kara. Kara look all excited to the color I chose. When it was getting dark I put my nerd pajama and jump in my bed taking Kiwi with me. Then looking at this wonderful plush that I have since my birth. 

  
"I had a beautiful day today you know…"

  
A silence grows and I smile a bit.

  
"It was great you know. But something happens and you know it was weird. But anyway it's not important. It was just something that happens once, it's not like it's gonna happen after right?"

 

He didn't need to hear the whole story. He knew, he always did.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't conclude to fast on Maggie, pay attention to detail ;) ...


	3. I Don't Believe You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe things would be easier if Alex would trust me more than she does. People’s perceptions of me are practically written on my forehead, so I understand her hesitation. I wish I could tell her that I’m more than that, that she’s more than the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Google, there is semi-accurate science stuff in this chapter. Also, enjoy Alex’s POV, it won’t be in the story often.

 

\- Tuesday, 21 august, 2018 - 

Looking at the clock, I wish that time would go backwards. It’s too early, and my exhaustion has me on edge. Whose bright idea was is to establish such early school hours anyway? Like, did they ever search on how beneficial sleep is? How much we need it? People have made lots of articles about it.

...

 

One cannot deny the importance of sleep as it is essential for a healthy life. Every person requires the right amount of sleep so that they can rest properly and get up with a fresh mind.  On the other hand, if you do not have a sound sleep, you feel irritated, are unable to focus on your work and become stressed out. All this not only affects your healt but your lifestyle as well. This is the reason that one should take good sleep no matter how busy you are or what the pressure of work is.

If you wish to enjoy a healthy lifestyle, sound sleep is necessary or else you will be surrounded with a number of health hazards. You will definitely not want this to happen. So never compromise with your sleep as it is the necessity of life and you cannot ignore it.

 

1.    Sharp memory – It is rightly said that good sleep results in sharp memory. It is because of the simple reason that if you have a good amount of sleep, you will feel fresh and will help you to concentrate on your work thus improving the memory. With a fresh mind, you can grab things quicker and will remain in mind for a longer time as well. According to one of the researchers, it is found that you learn while you sleep.

 

2.    Become more creative – Creativity comes only if you feel fresh and stress-free. This is possible if you sleep well. Around 6-8 hours of sleep is necessary for every individual as it gives you a relaxed feeling. Once your mind and body both are relaxed, better thoughts will come into your mind thus making you more innovative. So creativity comes only with the right amount of sleep.

 

3.    Enjoy good health –

 

4.    No depression –

 

 _5.    Stay focused_  – When you work, you require focus which is possible with good sleep. If you do not take a sound sleep, you will not feel relaxed and when you get up you will feel irritated thus spoiling your entire day. This will hamper the quality of work and you may have to suffer as well. That is why you need to have good sleep if you want to stay focused on your work.

(...)

 

Link: <http://importanceofstuff.com/sleep>

 

...

 

As you see, we really do need some sleep. Those are lots of reasons it’s important.

 

Just when I think that this morning couldn't be any worse, I remember what I have on my schedule for today. A math class, bright and early, at 8 am. My brain can barely understand it when I’m wide awake, imagine it trying to comprehend anything so early in the morning.

 

In addition to all of that, I have to be at school at least at 7:30 am, which means I have to wake up at 6:30 am.

 

_Where is my sleep in this? Do they know that some people work? Because, let me tell you, most days, I’m lucky if I’m in bed by 11._

 

My shifts end at ten, and I get home pretty late. Even then, I have homework to do, so I usually have to pull an all-nighter to finish. So it’s safe to say that I’m pretty tired, I can barely hit the minimum.

 

I hit my alarm with unnecessary force, grumbling a bit before really waking up. I push myself a bit but then fall off my bed.

 

_What a way to start the day._

 

I lay on the floor for a moment before heaving myself up and grabbing a grey t-shirt, a pair of jeans and, of course, a leather jacket. Ready for the day, though maybe not mentally, I brew a quick cup of dark coffee to combat my sleepiness. Suddenly, I hear a horn from a car that I recognize. I stand up quickly, taking my lunch and my backpack before I leave the apartment.

James was there waiting and I run to his Jeep and get in.

 

"You’re late," he says smiling.

 

"At least I'm here!"

 

He laughs while he stops the car again to wait for Lucy.

 

"There’s nothing worse than having to play volleyball at 8 am. Who can play sports this early anyway?" Lucy says drowsily.

 

"I start in math, which I say, is much worse."

 

"I start in philosophy, you two should consider yourselves lucky." James cuts in.

 

We stop talking for a few minutes, but then Lucy decides to disrupt the silence.

 

“Well, Maggie you can't complain. If you passed math, it wouldn’t be a problem anymore!"

 

"You know more than I do how hard it is to pass your math class."

 

“Just date an intellectual," she suggests.

 

"I tried last year, but she broke up with me before the exam. So, yeah. Not useful,” After that, the rest of the trip is spent in peaceful silence. I’m surprised no one say anything else, but I’m not complaining.

 

When we arrive on campus, James parks and we get out the car. We were walking so slow, we could have easily been in _The Walking Dead_. Now that I think about it, a zombie could walk faster than us. I make a quick stop at the bathroom to make sure I’m at least presentable. I go to my locker and leave half of my stuff in it, only keeping my math stuff with me. I check the time on my phone and I notice that I’m five minutes late to my class, but it could be worse. I check my schedule to be sure of where the class is.

 

When I was finally in front of the door, I knock. I wait for someone to open it, but nobody does.

 

_Not again, a teacher that refuses to let in students that are late. Come on, it’s the second day of school, can’t they have sympathy?_

 

I breath out and stay a bit longer just to be sure the teacher or a student won't answer. Then, finally, the door opens and I see a man. He wears a black shirt and black pants. No expression appears on his face when he lets me in. He lets the door close behind him and he returns to the  in front of the class. He lifts a piece of paper that’s in his hand and calls out a name, taking attendance. I was looking briefly and I look up specifically in front of me. My eyes meet the eyes of the only student sitting at the front of the class.

 

Alex.

 

For a moment, a comfortable tension kindles. The tension withers as she looks back at the piece of paper in front of her. I would have liked to sit next to her, but I know she would hate that, so I end up taking a seat in the back next to some guy wearing a football jersey. If I tried to sit next to her, I can already make the conclusion that the chance of getting her in my bed would be a lost cause.

 

From where I was sitting, I was able to see the back of Alex’s head. All of a sudden, she quickly shakes her head, her hair following the movement. But then she stops.

 

"Maggie Sawyer." He said out loud, snapping me out of my reverie.

 

I look at him and he smiles when he gets to the last name on the list

 

"Now, let me introduce myself. My name is J’onn J’onzz. I am your math professor."

 

As he continues to talk to the class, I start to daydream again. He catches me, maybe because I was late or because he saw the blank stare I was directing towards the floor.

 

"Maggie Sawyer!" he yells abruptly.

 

I jump in my seat and raise my head up and look to him.

 

"Your answer?" he asks.

 

_My answer?_

 

I look at the board where there’s a complicated equation written in red marker. I try to do the math in my head.

 

"Eh, I don't know, 23?"

 

He looks at me, sighing, swiping his fingers over his forehead in agitation.

 

"Okay, we’re going to try someone else. Let’s see, Alexandra Danvers?"

 

"56." Alex says confidently.

 

"Correct."

 

He look at me again stilly and I feel my cheeks flush.

 

"Okay, now, I’m going to distribute a test. It will not be graded, the purpose of it is to let me know where you are having difficulty." He passes a small stack of tests to a few students who then one for themselves and then pass the pile to the next student.

 

When it gets to me, I grab one and pass it to the guy next to me. I look at the paper and my brain practically explodes, I stare at it wide-eyed. I scramble for a pencil in my case and zoom through every equation, guessing for most of them.

 

**Suddenly...**

 

"Time’s up," J’onn announces.

 

I look up in shock and glance around me, most of the students already making their way to J’onn’s desk.

 

_Did I take longer than I thought? Ugh._

 

I already know I’m going to fail it. I stand up with my backpack over my shoulder and walk to his desk, lining up behind a couple of students. When I meet his eye after the other students leave, I give him my test.

 

"This isn’t your major, is it?" J’onn asks me, putting the sheet in the pile of others.

 

"I'm in photography," I confirm.

 

"I see. Don't worry, I'm sure you’ll make it."

 

I shrug, "I don't really care, it's not even related to my career, so..."

 

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow and I feel my heart squeeze in embarrassment.

 

“Well, do know that you must take and pass at least one mathematics class to graduate, whether you think it’s related or not,” he says.

 

After a moment of awkward eye contact, I nod dumbly. I purse my lips and quickly leave the professor’s class, making my way to my locker, fresh humiliation pumping in my veins. The hallways are as empty as boneyards. I put all my stuff in my locker, throw my lunch into my bag, and close the locker door. I make sure to turn the combination lock before walking over to the nearest bathroom. I leave my bag by the threshold, not really paying attention on anything else. I go about my business and wash my hands. I take my bag, ready to leave, but I stop, frowning when I feel that someone was here with me.

When I came in the bathroom, I didn’t hear anyone enter after me. Curiously, I crouch, searching for feet under the gaps between the stalls. Then, I turn my head to the right, and what I see answers my question. There, at the side of the stalls, was Alex, sitting on the border eating her sandwich and looking at her phone with her headphones in her ears. Suddenly, she looks up and our eyes meet, a bite of her sandwich still in her mouth. I feel a ball forming in my throat, knowing I have to talk to her, but she ignores my presence, looking back to her phone. I put my hand to each side of my bag straps and take a deep breath. She finishes the last of her sandwich and I bite my cheek.

 

_The teacher isn’t here this time._

 

_It was now or never._

 

"Why did you lie to the teacher?" I ask curiously.

 

She look at me surprise I talk to her.

 

"I didn't lie,” she answers, putting her lunch in her backpack

 

"But I didn't want to leave."

 

She looks at me for a moment before turning to zip her backpack and make sure it was correctly closed.

 

"You would have anyway," she said.

 

"And how could you know that?" I ask.

 

She let her backpack in her back looking at me.

 

"Because I know."

 

"And what if you were wrong? What if I didn’t?"

 

She laughs a little and walks to the corner to wash her hands.

 

Desperately, "It is really so unbelievable that I want to get to know you?" I say.

 

She freezes for a moment and looks at me through the mirror before looking back at her hands, quickly drying them. She turns without a glance in my direction and leaves without a word. My eyes follow her as she walks out the door, I stand still, at a loss.

 

After a few more seconds, I walk to go to the cafeteria to join my friends who finished their classes.

 

“Ugh, just gotta go to Philosophy and then we’ll be living the  _dream_." Lucy being sarcastic.

 

"Thank  _god_ , you too? We’re in the same class!"

 

Lucy smiles and takes me in her arm happily.

 

"So, do you have Alex in any of your classes?" James asks.

 

“I have her in Math, we’ll probably be together in art, too."

 

"That’s great!"

 

I roll my eyes.

 

"What’s wrong?" he asks curiously.

 

"The art teacher doesn’t really like me…"

 

He laughs as if he’s not surprised. Well, I mean, I wasn't either.

 

"Well, have fun! Flirting, talking about class, science... Who even likes science nowadays anyway?" Lucy laughs.

 

We finish eating and James leaves me and Lucy to ourselves so we could talk about girl stuff. I mean, Lucy could  _talk_ about her makeup. She also tells me about the super special  _Victoria’s Secret_ is having this weekend. When we’re finished with our conversation, we stand up and make our way to Philosophy. When we’re let out we practically jump of joy. I can already tell that this year is going to be a long one.

 

James drops Lucy off first and then drives to my house. I get out the car and sigh in relief, happy to finally be home. Sadly though, I couldn’t enjoy the luxury for long, I had homework to do. Math homework.

 

_Great._

 

I don’t know what’s going to be harder, getting Alex in bed or passing math.

 

I don't think both can be done.

 

But who knows?

 

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

«Loneliness, something I’ve always felt deep inside of myself. When you’re alone, you don’t have to depend on anybody else. I find comfort in the shadows, it’s peaceful. I know that if I’m alone, I can’t get hurt, I won’t feel pain. Alone, I’m free. I didn’t think that living that way wasn’t really a way to live… that is, until I met you.»

 

I wake slowly this morning. I groggily swipe a thumb over my phone to shut my off alarm off and get off the bed to grab random clothing from my wardrobe. I know Kara and my mom are still asleep, so I try to make the least amount of noise I could, tiptoeing across the house and waiting for my cereal to soften in my mouth before I chewed it. When I finish, I clean the dishes that I used and I leave the house with all I need for today. I wait for the bus for a few minutes and when it arrives, I get on, tap my card, and sit down. I love my family with all my heart, but when I get alone-time, I cherish it. It's the only time I know for sure that I’m far away from any problems. It’s just me, myself, and I in gratifying silence.

 

When I get to school, the hallways are empty and I was free to walk without any judgemental looks directed toward me. Like the first day at school, the class was silent.

 

 _No one wants to talk at 8am in the morning._ Especially _in math._

 

Fortunately, the student that was tardy didn't make the class end any later. When class is let out, I walk to my locker, avoiding passing any students as much as I could. When I get to my locker, I take my lunch and make my way to the bathroom. I usually head to Marthe’s class when I break for lunch, but because of my schedule today, I’m not able to since she’s currently teaching a class. For today, I head to one of the further bathrooms to eat there. Usually, nobody comes around to interrupt me, but today was different…

 

...

 

I leave the bathroom and go to the only place I know I could actually be at peace, the library. I head to a spot where only Kara and I know of. I see Kara walking over to join me, a book in her hand, our book,  _Astronomica_.

 

"Where did you eat lunch?" she asks.

 

"In the bathroom, why?"

 

"What!? You could’ve eaten with me and my friends, you know that, right?"

 

"Kara, they’re  _your_  friends…" I said awkwardly.

 

"I know, but it's gross eating in a bathroom, no?"

 

"I always have my headphones, and I’m practically never bothered."

 

"Practically?"

 

"It’s nothing important, don’t wanna talk about it,” I say grabbing the book from her. I open it to a random page, “So, where were we?”

 

Kara analyzes me, flitting her eyes all over my face before turning back to the book. She adjusts her glass and flips the page. We continue reading until I have to head up to class. When the day’s over, Kara and I enter into the calmness of our home, taking relieved breaths. We already have our routine and I love it. I gaze at the ceiling, resting in bed and letting the music play from my phone.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

**_\- Please don't say you love me - Gabrielle Aplin -_ **

 

_Summer comes and Winter fades,_

_Here we are just the same, we don't need pressure, we don’t need change._

_Let's not give the game away, I used to be an empty space_

_A photograph without face_

_But with you presence with your grace, everything falls into place._

_Please don't say you love me, cause I might not say it back_

_Doesn't mean my heart stopped skipping when you look at me like that_

_There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at_

(…)

_Heavy words are hard to take, under pressure things will break_

_How we feel is hard to fake, so let's not give the game away_

_(…)_

_Fools rush in, I've been fooled before._

_This time i'm gonna slow down_

_'cause I think this could be more, the thing i'm looking for._

(…)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I pull Kiwi, my plush, towards me. I close my eyes and begin to drift off…

 

**_—Flashback—_ **

 

 _They were_ that _couple._

 

_They met in the back of chemistry class._

 

_Unsurprisingly, they fall in love. Like all teenagers do, they fall in love._

 

_And still in love, years later, they get married and become Jeremiah and Eliza Danvers._

 

_More time passes._

 

_They decide to start a family._

 

_Jeremiah is in the military, like most of the young men in their generation. They talk about waiting, but ultimately decide that they don’t want to wait until the end of his enlistment, which is just a year away._

 

_They want a child now, so they try, and they try, but something just won’t take, and it seems that destiny just won’t align with what they pray for._

 

 _Just_ one _child._

 

_But one day, it changes, like destiny does._

 

_"My suitcase is ready, I’m ready, you’ll be fine here?"_

 

_And she smile, because she knows she’ll be fine. Totally fine._

_Because finally, she would not disappoint her finally and neither her husband._

 

_"We’ll be waiting for you," Eliza says, emotional._

 

_Teary eyed, he puts his backpack on the floor and gently places his hands on Eliza’s flat stomach._

 

_"Yeah?"_

 

_"Yeah."_

 

 _He wraps his wife in his arms gently, because they’re going to have a baby. They’re going to have a_ baby _._

 

 _They’re going to be_ parents _._

 

_When his final term is over and he returns home, he sees Eliza waiting for him, her belly is large and round and he cries._

 

_He’s happy that he’ll be there when the baby arrives. Girl, boy, it won’t matter. What matters is, he’s going to have a child to hold, a child that he’s going to see take their first steps._

 

_Eliza is only seven months pregnant when her water breaks and gives birth._

 

_It scares both her Jeremiah._

 

_They get to the hospital in a flash, and they’re quickly lead to a delivery room. It doesn’t take long for their baby girl to be brought into the world._

 

_They have a moment to look at her, a moment to hear her shrieks before the doctors rush away with her in panic._

 

_She was tiny. So, so tiny. And her arms almost see-through._

 

 _They don’t know what’s wrong, but they know_ something’s _wrong, so they pray, and they pray, and they_  pray  _that she survives, their little girl._

 

_…_

 

_But their praying ends up pointless._

 

_…_

 

_The white crib they bought for the baby remains vacant, the toys collect dust, and Eliza and Jeremiah are left in the dark, dim hospital room cradling each other._

_Their hands are intertwined tightly. Expressions grievous and broken in that same hospital bed where they heard their late daughter’s thundering cries just earlier that morning._

 

_—_

 

_They’re hesitant, but they decide to try again._

 

_And one day, they’re walking hand in hand in a grocery store, buying the necessities._

 

_And then Jeremiah sees a shelf of stuffed animals. He approaches them, browsing through them quickly and he smiles when he spots a cute German Shepherd plush._

 

_He plucks it off the shelf, careful not to drop any other stuffed animals._

_He pays separately for it before Eliza could notice. After they’ve paid, he pretends he forgot something and tells her to wait in the car. He goes back to buy it along with a gallon of milk to not be suspicious._

 

_He hides it in the house and waits for the perfect moment to give it to her._

 

... 

 

_"Don't worry, this one’s gonna make it," Jeremiah reassures her._

 

_She’s scared, and Jeremiah is, too. How could they not be?_

 

_"How are you so sure?" Eliza says softly._

 

_"Because this time, we have our lucky teddy," he says. He reaches behind a few books that line the bookshelf in their bedroom. He pulls out the plush and shows it to her._

 

_Her eyes soften and she smiles widely as she takes it in her hand, caressing the ears with her thumbs, "When did you buy it?"_

 

_"When I “forgot” the  milk," he says, making hand quotes._

 

_She laughs, punching his arm gently.  And then when she look at him in admiration, she thinks about the past. Her mom, who’s now finally becoming  a grandmother, was right. He was the perfect man for her._

 

_They wait cautiously and carefully. They monitor her diet together, and regularly look out for any signs of complications._

 

_And finally…_

 

_They have their little girl._

 

_Their beautiful Alexandra Danvers is finally born._

 

_..._

 

_When they get home, they put her to bed in her crib. They watch over her, making sure everything was alright, and put the dog plush with her in the bed. She immediately grabs it with her tiny fingers._

 

_"Aw, look, she loves it. It was a really great choice." she says, grabbing her husband’s arm._

 

_"Look at her, she is beautiful. Look at her make every guy fall for her. " he said touching Alex’s small, round cheek._

 

_Eliza looks at him and swats at the arm she’s still holding._

 

_"What?"_

 

 _"She was born not even_ 48 hours ago _and you’re already thinking about that?!"_

 

_"I'm not! It was a compliment, honey."_

 

 _"Well, she’s a_  baby _, give me time before I have to think about her love life."_

 

_"Okay, okay. But now, you, need some sleep," he said, putting his arm around her waist._

 

_"We need some sleep," she says, doing the same thing._

 

_"Yes, ma'am." Jeremiah says, jokingly saluting her._

 

_After hugging him, she laughs. They will have a beautiful family._

_They were meant to be._

_They were…_

 

**— _End Flashback—_**

 

I take a deep breath after looking the roof lost in my mind. I bite my cheek, thinking. I finally breathe out another time, choosing to go to sleep. It was the time to go to sleep, to remember myself one important thing.

 

_Don't believe it._

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't supposed to be a Drama fic, but that’s what it turned into as I wrote it. I’ll try my best to keep it to a minimum.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I liked writing! :)


	4. I Will Do Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m Maggie Sawyer.
> 
> I’m one of the most popular girls in school, I know the power I can have on people.  
> Who could have guessed that I would be the person be begging to get to know someone else?
> 
> It looks like this is more important than it first seemed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m thinking I might have maybe I went too far with the summary and title. But, they’re great in the sense that they give you an idea of the chapter before you read it.
> 
> By the way! I forgot to mention something important.
> 
> If I’m correct, every chapter has at least one Easter Egg.This one is pretty obvious, but some are more difficult to find. I have a hard time finding them myself sometimes, and I write them in!

 

Wednesday, August 22, 2018.

 

When I wake up, I take things slow. I hop in the shower and wash my hair using coconut scented  _Oxy_ shampoo and conditioner. Then I scrub myself down with  _Nubian Heritage_  papaya soap, which leaves my skin soft and silky.

 

I’m full of energy, and I feel like the day was going to be great.

 

_Little did I know, it would be far from that._

 

I was excited for class today. Alex and I have class together, so I can finally be able to talk to her. I could  _accidentally_ bump into her and  _apologize_. From there, I could use the situation as an excuse to keep

talking.

 

Then, I think _, What about that teacher?_

 

What will I do if she’s around? I mean, she can't yell at me for talking to another student, right? Everyone talks in art class, even if teachers ask for silence.

 

After mentally pumping myself up, I’m confident. There’s no way I would back down.

 

I may be little, but I have _guts_.

 

When I’m clean, I dry myself with a towel and throw it in the laundry basket. I pick out clothes, dress, and head to the bathroom. I brush my teeth and blowdry my hair, leaving it soft and silky.

 

I head over to the kitchen, starving and make some eggs, toast, and bacon for my aunt and I. When she wakes up, she brews us some coffee and adds some nectar into my mug. Suddenly, I hear tiny clacks against the floor.

 

Now we would have to share this breakfast with the rest of the family.

 

Of course, our little dog Cheetos would wake up to the small of bacon. He treads over to me happily, wagging his tail and sitting at my feet.

 

“No,” I say.

 

Cheetos whines, jumping up and catching himself on my legs.

 

“Ugh, fine.” I toss him a piece of bacon from my plate, and he catches it in his mouth.

 

I put my plate down on the table and sigh, cupping Cheetos’ ears, “I’m so glad I have you.”

 

Aunt Rose laughs from across the table.

 

**— _Flashback_ —**

 

_I was looking through the window, hoping that when I got in the car, Aunt Rose would drive me back home._

 

 _My_ real  _home._

 

_“What about Elliott? I can let my brother alone there,” I protest._

 

_She looked at me and gave me a timid smile, “He’s going to be fine, Maggie, I promise.”_

 

_I huff, crossing my arms. I couldn’t believe that this was happening._

 

 _“What about Yogi? Who’s gonna take him outside? Who’s gonna walk him? Who’s he gonna sleep with when I’m not there? He’s_ my _dog.”_

 

_Aunt Rose parked in the closet space of the grocery store lot and turned to me, “Look,”  she put a hand in my hair and my eyes started to water, “I have no doubt that they’ll take care of them, remember that, but you’re gonna live with me from now on, okay? They’re not going to be around for you to take care of anymore. I know that this is hard, it’s hard for me, too, but I need you to be brave for me. Can you be brave for me?”_

 

_I glanced between her eyes for a moment and grounded myself, feeling her thumb stroke my temple._

 

_I smiled faintly and rose my chin up a little, “Yeah, yeah. Of course I can.”_

 

_She laughed and I smiled. I didn’t understand why she was laughing, but I assumed it was for a good reason. Relief, maybe?_

 

_After that, we get out of the car and go inside the grocery store to get some necessities and extra food now that I was staying over._

 

_I knew pretty fast what my new reality was going to be like. I learned to be understanding. I never complained about not having name brand cereal and candy._

 

_Because of what happened at home, too, I had to grow up fast than most kids my age. Despite that, Aunt Rose made sure I could still live a childhood, or as close to it as it could get._

 

_When we get back to her apartment, I help her put everything away, sorting through the fridge or the pantry. When I finished, I turned to Aunt Rosa, “Can I go outside, please?”_

 

_“Of course, I’ll call you when supper’s ready.”_

 

_I smiled and sped out of the apartment fast. I go to the only place I have fun around here, a place where there’s a tire swing. It was at the neighbor’s house, he lets me use it whenever I want. There weren’t many kids in the neighborhood to fight for it anymore. They’re all grown up. Some people though I was a bit too old to use it, but I could use the swing for hours._

 

_Then, I heard a dog bark._

 

_I listen a bit harder for a moment._

 

No, two.

 

_I listen for where the sound came from and tread around the neighbors’ house and find a little shed. I open the door, it was all dark and I couldn’t see. I feel around the wall for a light switch, and when I find it, I flick it on._

 

_I walk around a but and I spot a tail behind a crate. I close up on it and see an old dog and a puppy squirming under its chin. I approach them slowly, trying not to scare them off or agitate them. When I’m close, the pup thrusts his nose into my hand and my stomach flutters. I pet them for a moment and I notice that the older dog looked like they were in pain. They were whining, and their breath was tight and short. I put a hand on their head and the whining slightly calms._

 

_“Maggie, I’ve been calling you for 10 minutes!”_

 

_I turn my head to find my aunt standing in still in shock, her eyes set on the dogs. Slowly, she walked to me and sat on the floor next to me. The older beagle starts wagging their tail excitedly._

 

_“Sorry, I heard them and I got worried,” I rest one of my hands on the bigger dog’s head._

 

_“That’s really sweet of you. Stay here while I go get some food and water. They look hungry.”_

 

_I cuddled both of them until she came back, two bowls of water and food. They immediately gravitate towards their bowls to fill their stomachs and quench their thirst. We laugh cutely at their fervor._

 

_“Do you think they have a family?” I ask, watching them._

 

_“I don't think so.”_

 

_Then the door slammed open, and we jumped in shock._

_It was Harold, our neighbor._

 

_“I saw the light and I was worried. What the hell’s going on?” he hollers, balancing his can next to him._

 

_“Are they your dog's?” Aunt Rosa asked._

 

_Harold scratches his head, “No, but I’ve seen them around long enough, so I just… I put a blanket down so they could be more comfortable.”_

 

_We check under them and confirm he’s telling the truth._

 

_Harold squats down and starts to stroke the older dog’s side, “I don't have a lot of money to feed them, but at least they have a place to stay.”_

 

_“We can take care of them both!”_

 

_They both laughed at me and looked at each other incredulously._

 

_The old dog pushed her pup toward me with her head. I smiled and picked it up, a boy. I cradled him in my arms._

 

_“Hi,” I cooed, gingerly stroking a finger between his eyes. He closed them in delight._

 

_“Don’t get attached, Maggie, you’ll have to let him go,” Aunt Rose warned._

 

_Pouting, I rock him in my arms for a moment. The older dog stands up, the mother I assumed, and came closer to the pup in my arms, licking him and resting her head on him for a moment. Then, she limps towards Aunt Rose and rests her head on her leg, whining._

 

_“Why’s she crying?”_

 

_“I don't know, sweetheart.”_

 

 _“Maybe she only wants_ us _to keep them,” I look up to her, pleading. She shakes her head._

 

_“Maggie…”_

 

 _“Pleaseeee? I’ll_ never _ask for anything_ ever _for the_ entire _rest of my_  life _!” I begged, pulling the pup up to me face and resting my cheek against his ear._

 

_She turned her head to me and the dog and then Harold. He shrugged._

 

_Sighing, “Okay…” she said._

 

_I looked at her startled, eyes wide and open-mouthed._

 

_“Really!”_

 

_“Yeah, really.”_

 

_“Oh my god! I love you so, so, so much!” I urged her into a hug, wedging the pup between us. She hugged me back tightly and rested her cheek against mine._

 

_We left the shed and I put the puppy down on the grass. His mother came close and began to groom him with her tongue._

 

_I smile at them._

 

_I start to play with the puppy, he was a big ball of energy in a small package._

 

_Then, the gets up and the mother, and she walks and walks…_

 

_I see her disappear in the forest._

 

_“Aunt Rose, where’s the mom going?”_

 

_“I don’t know, Mags. Maybe she’s taking a walk or trying to find some food.”_

 

_“Oh, okay,” I bit my lip, turning to her unsurely, “So… should we wait for her or can we can go back inside? I’m getting kinda cold.”_

 

_“You can go in, sweetie, I’ll join you,” Aunt Rose gently nudges me toward the door and our new puppy trails behind me slowly._

 

 _I nodded to her and looked down, “Okay, come here, little buddy!” The puppy jolted at the sound of my voice, looking at me wide-eyed before trotting by my side and licking his nose. When we got to the stairs,_ _he struggled at the first step, so I took him in my arms. I turned and gave Aunt Rosa and Harold a small smile and wave before walked up the rest of the stairs, out of my aunt’s sight._

 

_“What am I going to tell her?” Rose asked Harold._

 

_He sighs unsurely, “Just—whatever happens, whatever you say, just remind her that she’s still going to have her chance at happiness. That doesn’t change. It’s not something that’s going to disappear because of… because of what they did. And you’re not going to throw her away like her parents.”_

 

 _Rose dragged a hand over her forehead, “It’s going to be hard on her either way.” She exhaled slowly, attempting to alleviate the stress that accumulated in her shoulders over the weekend, “Can you even imagine? I—How am I going to tell her that she’s_ never _going to see her family again?”_

 

_Harold grimaced when Rose looked at him, “Well, when you say it like that…”_

 

 _“I just want everything to be fine. I want to do what’s_ best _for her.”_

 

 _“She_ is _going to be fine, Rose. It’s going to hurt her, but she still has somebody by her side, she has_ you _to help her through this.”_

 

_Rose looked up and set her gaze on Maggie’s new bedroom window and stared at it as if she could see her._

 

_“I just hope that’s enough.”_

 

_“Look how sweet he is! Yogi would love him.”_

 

_Aunt Rose smiled softly and leaned back against the small kitchen island, “What are you gonna call him?”_

 

_“Cheetos,” I state._

 

_She lifts an eyebrow, “Cheetos?”_

 

_“Yeah! This dumbass just ate the whole bag!” I said, holding up the bag as if it being flat wasn’t enough proof._

 

_She laughed hard and took me in her arms, “Never change,” she says softly, “Promise me?”_

 

_I smiled and nodded vigorously into her shoulder._

 

_That was the only promise I did keep._

 

**— _End Flashback_ —**

 

Before I leave, I fill Cheetos’ food and water bowls and pet him goodbye.

 

By the time I get outside, James is already waiting for me. We pick Lucy up, as usual, and when we get to school, we take a few minutes for ourselves.

 

Luckily, I have time to hang with Lucy before class starts. With her, I could vent my anger about everything that implied a connection with the school. But of course, talking was more interesting than attending class. Right now, going was completely off my mind.

 

"Don't you have a class right now?" Lucy questions.

 

"Maybe," I say calmly, remembering I do have one.

 

She looks at me and laughs. She straightens her clothes and adjusts her bag on her shoulder, seeming to prepare herself a bit before going to class.

 

"Anyways this conversation has been fun and all, but I have to go."

 

James and I were surprised, her class starts only in 15 min, Why was she going this earlier?

 

"Doesn’t your class start in 15 minutes?" James asks worriedly, “Are you sick?”

 

I mirror James' expression, because, to be honest, I was worried too.

 

She laughs, "Yes, but it's a  _sexology_  class, and there no way I’m missing a second of it."

 

We both laugh and look at eachother. Why do we even ask?

 

"Anyway, Maggie, aren't you late for something?" James reminds me.

 

I shrug at him but get my phone from my pocket to check the time anyway. If I didn’t start walking over now, I was going to be 10 minutes late.

 

"I mean, I’ve heard that the teacher doesn’t really mind. I mean, you can be 30 min late and she will open the door happy to see you. But since you’re  _that_ worried, I’ll head over there now."

 

He nods silently. Because of him, I have to leave for class. Even if I could turn the corner and leave the school if I wanted to. But I have my quest to complete.

 

I walk slowly in the hallway. Seeing lucky student to have no class. I finally was in front of the door and I knock. I wait silently for a few moments, linking my fingers together. I don’t have to wait long. I hear rushed footsteps and I could easily picture her running to the door. She open the door fast with a smile, but when she sees me, she immediately loses it. I smile at her a bit and go to walk to enter, but she holds out a hand and leads me to take a few steps backwards.  Marthe steals a glance at in her classroom before closing the door behind her. We stand within a couple of feet of each other in the dead hallway.

 

"Why are you late?" she ask me crossing her arms sternly as if I stole a pencil from her class.

 

I hold my hands up in surrender, "I didn't realize the time. But at least I'm here, right?" I said, laughing to make the situation less tense.

 

"Well that’s too bad," she snaps.

 

It was probably the first time she was rude at a student.

 

"Look, it's the fourth day, cut me some slack? Please?" I try, and she look to think about it. She breath out like it was the hardest decision of all time, but finally, she seems to have an idea. A diabolical look crosses her face.

 

"Okay, I will let you in. But one condition."

 

I wasn't totally surprise she said that. She will probably ask me to stay after class to clean. Which is not what I want to do, but I could try to leave before she catch me. Most of the time, she forgets what she says, so maybe I will be lucky.

 

"And that is?" I ask before to sign

 

"You will stay far way, from Alex," she demands, crossing her arms and looking at me with harsh eyes.

 

Oh, so this is a contract with the devil.

 

My mouth agape, I stand still for a moment before I frown, dumbfounded.

 

_Did she just really ask me, that?_

 

"Ex _cuse_  me?" I say.

 

She walk closer to me to intimate me with her one head taller because she was.

 

"You think I don’t know you Maggie Sawyer, but I do. Call off that bet, and stay far,  _far_  away from Alex. Do you understand me?"

 

I stop breathing a second because, _How does she know?_

 

“I said, do you understand me?”

 

"But... what if I actually want to know her?" I said fast, because it could have been true.

 

"I’ll see you next class. On time. And just so you know,” she points a finger at me, “I will do  _everything_  in my power to keep you two apart. I know what you do with people."

 

She turns away from me and open the door slowly and look inside the class. Alex turn the head and look at me. Our eye contact were broken with the close of the door. I stay there a couple of seconds after that, I was so shock.  Suddenly, there’s a hand slapping my ass and startle. I whip my head around and see Lucy .

 

"I thought you had a class to get to," Lucy adds, laughing.

 

Instead of making a remark about how  _she_  had a class to get to, all I say is, "She knows."

 

Lucy look at me and she question me. "Knows? About what?"

 

"The  _bet_."

 

"And? So what?"

 

I breath out and cross my arms.

 

"She threatened that she would do everything she could to make me fail."

 

She laughs out loud.

 

"Sorry. You’ve definitely got a problem there, Sawyer." Lucy teases.

 

I arch an eyebrow up and I breath out.

 

"Yeah, did you finish your class?"

 

"I guess so. Technically though, I was kicked out."

 

I laugh a bit and she smile. We were both in the same situation.

 

"Nice, do you want to do something ?"

 

"Absolutely, I could use some fresh air," she says, resting a hand on my back.

 

We decide to go in our special place. The top of the school to see the beautiful view of the forest.

 

 

So I take my camera to take a picture of what we could see.

 

After checking the view and talking about everything and nothing. We step inside of the school.

 

"What class do you finish with?"

 

"I have yoga."

 

"Eww, wanna grab a coffee? I’ll pay."

 

"Really? Why are you being so sweet? What do you  _really_  want?"

 

"No! I’m just being nice. You were there for me, now I am for you. "

 

I smile and she gave me back. It was a great way to end the day.

 

 

\---

-Thursday, August 23, 2018-

 

The next day, I go with James to the library.

 

Currently, he’s trying to explain some math equation to me. Everything goes through one ear and out the other since I’m thinking of the situation with Alex.

 

Definitively, I figure out that the way I try to talk to Alex. Will not work.

 

"Maggie!" he shouts, snapping me out of my daydreaming.

 

"Sorry, I’m listening, I’m listening," I apologize, correcting the position of the pencil in my hand. I lean closer to the worksheets on the table.

 

He paused to look at me, "No you’re not. What’s wrong? Are you okay?"

 

"Yeah, I just…” I pause, trying to find my words, “I’m just lost in my mind, can you restart?"

 

"You came sooner this morning, no?"

 

"Well yeah, if I want to pass my math, I have to go to class at the hour it start."

 

He look at me with a little proud smiley face.

 

"Deep down inside, she’s just excited to see Alex!" shouts Lucy.  

 

I roll my eyes and turn my head to her.

 

"In her beautiful, sexy t-shirt with a DNA strand on it!" Mike adds laughing, he gives Lucy a high five.

 

"Okay, I’ll let you two have your fun. I have a class to go," I say shortly. I grab my stuff and leave.

 

I make my way to class and when I get there, I peek inside. I notice Alex is already there.

 

She didn't seem to be happy at all, so instead of approaching her like I wanted to, I go to sit at the back of the class, far away from her like I usually do.

 

J’onn calls me over to him, "Maggie Sawyer."

 

I turn around to look at him. He give me a look to said to approach his desk. I walk to his desk next to him and he whisper.

 

"Sit in the front "

 

I look at him surprise, "Why?"

 

"I see that you’re having some difficulty. You should be placed somewhere you’ll be able to focus more."

 

"Is this a joke? Because it's not funny…"

 

He put an elbow up and I breath out letting my backpack in the first desk available.

 

"No,” he says, “Next to Alex."

 

I look at him shock. But he seems to be pretty serious. I look to Alex in confusion, she doesn’t react. Maybe she knew, that would explain her mood, which was more bothered than usual.

 

Nobody sits next to Alex and she doesn’t sit next to anybody, and there’s a reason for it. Everyone knows that she’s the loner type.

 

As more students start to enter, I walk to the chair next to Alex.I sit down and rest my backpack next to my feet. The students come in and do a double take at me in surprise.

 

_Well, I’m surprised too._

 

I don't know if being next to her will help me or not, but I’ll give this a shot.

 

The last student enters the classroom and J’onn stands up and closes the door. I put my face in my hand and draw on my notebook with the other. If Alex wasn't scotch to the wall, our elbows would be close enough to possibly touch by mistake.

 

"Okay, I'm going to pass out a quiz to be sure all of you understand what we’ve learned today."

 

I breath out while he passes a copy to each of the students. I knew that If nobody help me fast, that I will not made this class.

 

"Five minutes left, finish what you did and give me your copy."

 

I quickly answered the first two questions and navigate my eyes over to Alex’s copy.  Before I could make out what was under her had, she shoots up and gives her copy to J’onn. She glances at me and makes sure to take her backpack and leave, probably to avoid bumping into each other.

 

_A little teamwork would have been helpful._

 

I stand up and pass in my test to J’onn. He glances over it and immediately looks at me and tilts his head to the side, directing me to wait aside as he collects the rests of the tests. He clearly wanted to kept me after class, so I wait until the last student leaves.

 

"You need help, you knew that?"

 

"No, it's okay. I’ll be fine alone."

 

He breath out and stares at my test and I roll my eyes.

 

"On the first question, you answered Canada. This is a  _math_  class."

 

"Well, at least I answered something."

 

He look at me and doesn't look to laugh.

 

"And on question two, you had to find the square root. You wrote, ‘go outside and find a tree.’"

 

"I wanted to make you laugh."

 

He cocks his head to the side and stares at me blankly, "Does it look like I’m laughing?"

 

I frown, "It's not  _my_  fault if you don't have a sense of humour."

 

He breath out and look at a piece of paper.

 

"I propose you ask Darla for some help."

 

"Um, how about no? She hates me."

 

Probably because I slept with her and she found out about the bet right after. She was livid when she found out, and she’ll probably stay that way for a long while.

 

"What about Vanessa?"

 

"She asks for money that I don’t have…"

 

" Look, next class, I will find a solution."

 

"No, It's okay,” I pause, “I know who can help me."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Yes sir," I confirm, certain.

 

He tilts his head toward the door his head and I leave as quickly as I could, just in case he changed his mind about keeping me any longer.

 

I know that Alex would be my best chance. She has the top score in math. I’m not even sure if she could help me.

 

Hitting one goal was inevitable.

 

One win, that’s all I want.

 

I immediately walk to the basement floor hoping to find Alex to her locker. The locker of shame, as the students say, since it’s far from most of the population.

 

If she was in art with Lucifer, I would have to let it go for today.

 

Luckily, I find her at her where I thought she was. I approach her slowly not wanting to scare her off. When I’m a few feet away from her, she turn hers her head away from her locker to look at me. Her eyes widen and her mouth parts in surprise.

 

"Um, what are you—uh—what are you doing here?"

 

"I really need to talk to you, and if you just give me two minutes of your time, I promise I’ll be out of your hair."

 

Alex breathes out through her nose, thinking about it.

 

"Two minutes."

 

"I heard everything you said. I get it. And if you never want to talk to me again, I’ll respect that, I’ll disappear. But your my only chance I have. Can you help me in math, please?"

 

She look at me surprise of my speech and I smile and she answer quickly.

 

"Go see Darla."

 

"She hates me."

 

"Vanessa?"

 

I roll my eyes, "She asks for a ton of money and I can't really afford that kind of thing. "

 

She exhales slowly, crossing her arms.

 

"Why don’t you ask Professor J’onzz? I'm sure he can figure something out."

 

"But I want  _you_!"

 

"No—you, look you don't need me…"

 

"I’m gonna fail. We’re in the same class. Given that, I think I do."

 

She bites her cheek.

 

"You can do it alone."

 

"Yeah, sure I can. Alone, I can get a grand total of a whopping  _five percent_."

 

She bit her lips and look exhausted.

 

"Well, maybe if you listened in class and did your work— _attend all the classes_ , even—then maybe you’d hit the minimum."

 

"Well, yeah, okay, I can do that. But I still wouldn’t understand half of what’s going on. What would I do for the final?"

 

She closes her locker, look to want to leave and I try as my best to keep her around me.

 

"I’m sorry, I don't know how to help you. You’re just gonna have to find someone else."

 

"I'm sure you will be able to explain it me, can’t you at least give it a shot?"

 

"I'm sorry but no. For the past few years, you’ve been fine without me, so I’m sure you’ll be now. Good luck for your math. But I am not helping you."

 

She walk beside me to leave the roof and I bite my lips.

 

"I’ll do anything." I said then heard her shoes stop. I turn away and she didn't turn away. She turns her head to look at me.

 

"Anything?"

 

I look at her surprise but then harden my face, " _Anything._ " I confirm.

 

She bite her cheek and add smiles a diabolical smile.

 

"You sure you want to do this?"

 

"Absolutely, hundred percent."

 

She bites her cheek.

 

"Okay, we'll, if that’s the case, meet me here before the next art class," she says. Without another word, she turns her head forward and heads up the stairs that lead to the roof.

 

She had a diabolical idea in mind and I was scare of what it could be.

 

What does she have in store for me?

 

I catch myself before getting worried about it. Besides…

 

 _What could she_ possibly _do?_

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

**_\- Alan Walker - Sing me to sleep -_ **

 

_Wait a second let me catch my breath._

_~Remind me how it feel to heard your voice._

_Your lips are moving, I can't hear a thing._

_Living life as it we had a choice._

_Anywhere, Anytime, I will do anything for you,_

_Anything for you_

_Yesterday, got away, melody stuck inside your head._

_A song in every breath._

_Sing me to sleep now,_

_Sing me to sleep._

_Remember me, no time cannot erase._

_I can hear your whisper in my mind._

_I will become what you cannot embrace._

_Our memory will be my lullaby._

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Like always I enter in the class when it's open. So when the teacher open it. I enter and put my bag in the floor where was my desk.

 

"Alexandra, may I talk to you a second."

 

I turn my head worried, even if I knew I didn't do something wrong.

 

“It is Alexandra, right? I have so many students.”

 

I stare at him and purse my lips, "Alex, yes."

 

"Sorry, Alex. I just wanted to let you know I will be placing Maggie Sawyer next to you in class."

 

I freeze for a second, "I’m sorry, but I prefer to be alone," I answer instinctively.

 

“She needs somewhere where she can concentrate."

 

"There are  _plenty_  of other available desks in the front."

 

"Despite the differences you two may have, I think it would be beneficial for the both of you."

 

"Beneficial?"

 

He looks at me with a small smile before continuing.

 

«You know, Alex, you can refuse, I would understand.” He flits his eyes to the floor for a moment before meeting my eyes again, “I just wanted to offer the opportunity so you could discover what destiny has reserved for you, perhaps. You could be surprised.»

 

I don’t say anything, I just stand there.

 

At least she wasn't annoying.

 

Even  _if_  in I saw her eye my paper during that pop quiz.

 

...

 

When I’m at home in bed, I take Kiwi in my hand.

 

"What do you think?"

 

I close my eyes and let it go from my hand. When I heard him hit my bed, I open my eyes.

 

"It's perfect. She would  _have_  to give up. And then, we can continue from where we were." I smile.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of interesting, huh?  
> What does Alex have in mind for Maggie? And more importantly, how will Maggie react to what she has in store?
> 
> I hope you have some patience, only 15 little day before to know ;).


	5. Under My Conditions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried to believe I wanted to give up, convince myself I wanted nothing to do with you. But the second I saw you smiling at me, I stopped, because deep down, I knew that none of it was true. I finally understood why I yearned to know you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone have an idea about what Alex is going to do to Maggie? If you guess right, I’ll give you a cookie!... Just kidding, I’m too poor for that. Anyway! I’ll stop making jokes.
> 
> This chapter is the true beginning, this is where everything starts before it all goes down! Enjoy!

 

 

\- Friday, 24 august, 2018 - 

 

I toss and turn in my bed, struggling to fall asleep.

 

I admit to myself that it’s going to be a long night and unlock my phone to play a few mindless games of Candy Crush to distract me from my thoughts.

 

After five minutes, I exit the game and lock my phone. The absence of the screen light leaving my room in complete darkness.

 

When I finally did fall asleep, it wasn't for very long.

 

I wake up just a couple hours later at three in the morning, mind racing.

 

I don't know what Alex has in store for me. I can’t stop thinking about it and not knowing is driving me insane. Millions of different scenarios play over and over in my head.

 

_What if she asks me to be some sort of test subject for one of her weird science-y projects?_

 

_Would she do that?_

 

I pause, thinking about it for a moment,

 

_No way. She’d get arrested for something like that, right?_

 

 _But I_ did  _say_ ‘Anything’ _._

 

I close my eyes and rub a hand over my face…

 

_I don’t know. Whatever. Stop thinking._

 

I close my eyes restlessly, screwing them shut in hope that by doing so, I’d fall asleep even faster. Eventually, I drift off, but I wake up an hour later.

 

Sleep total? Four hours.

 

_It’s better than nothing._

 

After a few moments lying in bed, I finally decide to get up and shut my alarm off, wishing I could have woken up with a bit more energy this morning. I slip on a simple black t-shirt and a black pair of jeans.

 

Sometimes simple is the way to go. I have Art today and I don’t want to get one splotch of paint on  _any_  of my nice clothes.

 

I leave my bedroom and go to the kitchen, I notice a bright yellow post-it on the fridge.

 

_I had to go to work early today_

_I left some spaghetti in the fridge for you_

_Have a great day at school!_

_Xoxo_

 

I smile at the note. I continue with my daily routine, brush, shower, and blowdry, and I finish with time to spare. After a quick breakfast, I decide to go outside and wait for James on the stairs. Five minutes later, he finally arrives.

 

“You’re late!” I complain.

 

“Well, now we’re even,” he shouts through the window.

 

I shoot him a withered glance and enter the passenger’s side. We ride in silence. It’s just the two of us today, Lucy, Max and Mike were going on their own.

 

My eyes follow the yellow lines painted on the asphalt until I get dizzy, then, I begin to gaze out the window to the trees. The part of National City we were driving through was woody. The thick forests start to thin, and thin, and thin until they were replaced by buildings. I loved all of National City, but I definitely preferred the more beautiful, rural side of it.

 

When James parks the car in the NCC’s lot, I immediately get out and start walking away from him to the campus building.

 

I hear footsteps coming from behind me so I turn my head to see James. I look forward again and go to my locker, which he settles right next to as I begin to pull what I need from it.

 

He’s definitely looking to stick around, but I couldn’t have that. I need to see Alex and I have to do it without James attached to my leg.

 

He opens his mouth, but before he could let out a word, I cut him off, “I have to go in class, see you later.”

 

“Oh, I’ll walk with you. Mine’s in an hour.”

 

“I have to go to the bathroom, too.” I add.

 

“It's okay, I’ll wait for you.”

 

_Ugh!_

 

“You know, James, I'm an adult. I can go by myself,” I say sharply, exasperated.

 

James’ mouth opens in shock before he looks at me impassively, “Well  _somebody’s_  cheerful this morning,” he remarks sarcastically.

 

I roll my eyes and his face genuinely falls. He gazes at me for a few moments, scrutinizing. Finally, looking away, he gives me timid goodbye before taking his stuff and walking off, leaving me alone.

 

If only I could only tell him.

 

I scurry away before he could turn back and make my way to the basement. I regularly search for any signs of life, looking right in left to make sure nobody was around, which, at this hour, wasn't really surprising.

 

I spot Alex standing in front of her locker with her cell phone in her hand. She lifts her head after a few seconds of clicking away on her phone. She turns, and when she sees me, her lips form a sly smile.

 

Putting her phone in her pocket, she lifts her backpack from between her legs and unzips it, pulling out a black bag that’s knotted at the top.

 

She walks up to me and straightens her arm out, offering it to me.

 

“Here you go!”

 

I take it from her, “And what is this?” I ask curiously, swirling the bag in my hands by the handles. I look at her and drop my hand down.

 

Alex shrugs, “Just a little something I want you to wear to art class.” she says evasively.

 

“Okay, consider it done.”

 

I  smile,  _That's it?_

 

Without looking at its contents, I stuff the bag into my backpack. When I look back up at Alex, she looks to be biting back a laugh, her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

 

I cock my head to the side ever so slightly, “See you around, Danvers,” I say. I turn around and walk away with a spring in my step.

 

_Easy._

 

Today, I have Photography first. The class was long, but easy. There wasn’t much work, and since we were upperclassmen, we got to spend most of our time developing photos in the red room. Time flew by.

 

It wasn’t until class finished that I had a powerful temptation to peek inside of the bag and see what Alex wanted me to wear. I walk to a bathroom near the art area and take the opaque bag she gave me and open it. I reach my hand in and feel soft cotton at my fingertips. When I pull the object out, I find out that it’s a t-shirt.

 

_Well, that’s surprising._

 

I imagined having to wear a lot of things, something mortifying. But a plain shirt? That wasn’t one of them.

 

I enter a stall and strip my shirt off, replacing it with the one Alex gave me without a second glance. It was a little long on me, which I expected, since Alex is a bit taller. I lift the collar up to my nose, inhaling. It certainly smells like her.

 

I open the stall door and walk up to the mirror, pulling my hair to the side. When I take a good look at myself, I almost go into cardiac arrest.

 

Alex gave me one of _her shirts_.

 

Like, the nerdiest shirt in the history of shirts. It was an all black tee and in the middle of it, the Nasa logo. Stars and  _all_.

 

 

 

_If anyone sees me in this mess, I’m dead._

 

I bite my cheek in panic.

 

_Think, Maggie, think._

...

 

I sneak out of the bathroom, glancing around the hallway. The only person I see Alex, who regards me humorlessly at my dramatic act of tiptoeing out of the bathroom.

 

"You’re not wearing it!" she gripes.

 

" _No_ , I am. It’s just under my hoodie." I lift the front on my hoodie up, showing her the t-shirt under it.

 

Alex crosses her arms sternly and juts out a hip, “That’s cheating!”

 

“Well, you just said I had to  _wear_  it, you didn’t say anyone had to  _see_  it.”

 

“Well, you asked me to  _help_  you, not to make you  _pass_ ,” she deadpans.

 

I bite my cheek, frustrated, and return to the bathroom. I could hear her snickering from the other side of the door.

 

Now, to find another loophole.

 

...

 

I leave the bathroom and present myself to Alex again. She looks at me desperately.

 

“It’s  _inside out_.”

 

I throw my head back and groan in frustration. Knowing she’d send me back in anyway, I swivel back to the bathroom petulantly.

 

Biting my lip, I pace around the tiled floor with my hands on my hips. There’s gotta be a way to get out of this.

 

Suddenly, an idea comes to me.

 

I take the bottom of her shirt, tuck it in the collar, loop it to the front, and knot it, turning it tie-front shirt that conceals the majority logo. I open the door and find Alex looking at the wall opposite of her, back facing me. Hearing the door creak, she turns her head to look at me.

 

She freezes.

 

“Happy?” I spreading my arms out.

 

Alex opens her mouth and closes it, mute. Her eyes dart up and down my body for a quick moment, and she ultimately settles her gaze right under my chin. She closes the distance between us slowly, entering my personal space, and raises a hand towards me. Though unsure of what she was going to do, I look deeply into her eyes and drop my arms and rest them by side, trusting.

 

Alex notices the movement. She’s close enough where I could feel her body heat and puffs of air, a comforting warmth as she exhales.

 

Her right hand reaches around the knotted collar, fingertips grazing my skin. Her eyes glance up and lock with mine for a moment before they look back down. Biting her tongue in concentration, she unknots the front of the shirt aptly. As it unravels, she drops hands to the bottom of the shirt and drags it back down towards my waist––I feel her knuckles sweep against my sides the whole way––and our eyes follow the movement. She straightens the shirt and goes back to adjust the collar, making sure everything was in place, a thumb brushes my neck lightly.

 

She looks up at me and our eyes lock.

 

I feel tension rise in the air around us and I know she feels it too when her eyes startle as if she just realized it. Her eyes dart around again and step slowly back to make sure not to break the spell we were under, her hands fall away from me. For an instant, we’re still.

 

I watch her lips as they open to speak, “I am now.” she mutters.

 

I look at her, completely disarmed. I gaze down at the t-shirt apprehensively, fiddling with the bottom of it.

 

It was this or my grade.

 

“It’s just a t-shirt,” she says gently.

 

I look up to her and I see that her eyes are soft. Her head slightly tilted to the side and a few strands of hair fall over her cheek, she brushes them back with a careful hand and tucks them behind her ear.

 

At my silence, she decides to turn around and enters the art classroom, leaving me in the hallway. I see her settle down at her seat and, haltingly, I follow her.

 

I go to take a stool in the back. I feel everyone looking at me and the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Breathing becomes difficult under the scrutiny, and I can’t help but wonder what everyone is thinking, if I look scared, if I’m walking with a peculiar gait in my step.

 

As I sit down next to a girl I’d seen in Photography, she regards me with a weird look in her eyes. "New look, Sawyer?" she quips.

 

I look at her, flustered, and when she laughs, it triggers a whole chain reaction. The whole class looks at me and does the same. Alex turns around to look at me, eyes filled with sympathy and understanding.

 

I couldn’t do anything else but drown myself in her gaze and sink in my seat, terrified at the attention, wondering when it’d all end. And although her look didn’t do much for the situation, it makes me feel better knowing that Alex is with me in some way.

 

I swipe a quivering hand over my eyebrow, “I just knew that we were gonna use the developing solution, so I borrowed something from my aunt’s closet,” I laugh nervously, “I didn't want to ruin my clothes, you know?”

 

She analyzes me up and down from feet to head.

 

“You scared me for a second there, Sawyer. You should give to Alex after,” she smirks, “I'm sure she’d  _love_  that thing.”

 

All the student laugh in the unison and Alex ignores them, returning to her work. The laughter dies down and everyone turns back to work as if the uproar never happened.

 

The remaining time in class is spent in unprompted silence. Marthe goes around giving a few of the students constructive critiques of their developing semester projects. When she approaches me we come to a silent understanding that we would be civil when it comes to classwork after all, she is still a teacher, and her impression of me shouldn’t change that.

 

Our conversation is stiff and terse, but was nonetheless.

 

When the end of class finally comes, I grab my bag off the floor, swing over my shoulder, and approach Alex’s workspace. In the corner of my eye, I see the art professor glaring at me.

 

 _Probably planning my death_.

 

Alex stands up and passes in a sheet of paper to Marthe, saying a quick goodbye to her, smiling. As she does that, I get a little closer to Alex, waiting for her to notice me.

 

Noticing my movement, something in Marthe’s face changes. At the same time Alex steps away from the desk to leave, Marthe, agitation in her eyes, walks around her desk and attempts to distance me from Alex. I back up nervously.

 

Alex, quickly discerning the situation, gets to me before Marthe can come completely between us. She keeps me close and I feel a protective hand brush my arm. She looks at Marthe, defiantly almost, like she was trying to protect me from her. She turns her waist to look at me.

 

“Wait for me at my locker, I won't be long.”

 

“Okay,” I nod, but still hesitate as I take a step away from her. I feel a knot of guilt swelling in my gut, as if I’m abandoning her, but I listen. Alex’s fingers caress the half of my arm, featherlight, as it drops out of her grasp.

 

As I pass the threshold, I pull the doorknob in my direction, taking one last glance at Alex and Marthe before I close the door. After I hear the click of the door sealing shut, I close my eyes and take a deep breath, holding it for a moment and then exhaling through my nose as languidly as I could.

 

And then, without warning––

 

“Holy Jesus Christ! Did you fuck Alex and put on the first t-shirt you found in her closet? You should have just come naked!”

 

My eyes pop open in panic and I see Lucy laughing as if she’s just seen the funniest thing to ever happen in existence.

 

“It was so she could help me with my math, for the bet.”

 

I look on the floor biting my cheek and there’s a flash. I look up and there’s another one, it was coming from Lucy’s cellphone.

 

Lucy was taking pictures of me and I look at her angrily. I run up to her and try to snatch the phone from her hands. She dodges my grasp and turns around. “Lucy!” I yell, “Delete that!”

 

“No way, this is my new cell phone background!”

 

“Lucy, I'm  _serious_.” I go for her phone again and she raises the hand with her phone high up in the air and holds me at arms length with the other.

 

“Jeez,  _someone_  woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning,” she chortles.

 

I stop fighting her for the phone. I look at her sternly, fist clenched at my sides, “I thought you’d be more sympathetic about the fact that I’m having a hard time, but all you’re doing is  _laughing_  at me.”

 

Lucy drops her hands and looks at me in surprise.

 

I’m furious at her, and she deserves it. All this popularity is going to her head and it’s as if everyone’s personal boundaries disappeared.

 

As she stands there dumbly, speechless, I shake my head and wave my hand dismissively at her, “I—I have to go…” I turn on my heel and speed-walk away from her, making sure she got the message that I didn’t want her following me.

 

...

 

I head to the basement, the only place I know I could hide while I waited for Alex to meet me.

 

I wait for what feels like an eternal ten minutes before to I see her. She smiles at me a little before going to her locker and opening it up.

 

“Hey, you mind going to the library to work on math?”

 

“No, sure, the library’s perfect.”

 

“Okay,” Alex passes me, leading the way. It was late, so not a lot of students see us walking together. She takes an unfamiliar route, which I assume is a shortcut. After a few minutes of walking, we’re in the library and stop in front of a door. Alex opens it, it’s a study room.

 

She pulls out a chair from the table and I do the same, sitting across from her.

 

“I just want to make sure that if I help you, you promise to put your piece in. Listen in class, try hard. I can't make you do anything you don’t want to do. If you don’t take the steps to help yourself, this’ll be pointless, and I don’t want to waste my time.”

 

“Of course,” I shake my head and she slides her schedule in the middle of the table. I open my bag and take mine out as well, putting it next to hers. Alex taps her chin with a finger, thinking.

 

“So, we can meet up after mathematics on Tuesdays.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

We study the schedule again.

 

“I think we should meet up for at least two days, what of you think?” she turns to me and I nod in agreement. “Yeah? How about the weekend?”

 

I hesitate, “I would say yes, but I have to be at work most of the time.”

 

Alex nods in understanding. She looks at the schedule again, holding her chin in her palm. “Okay then, how’s Thursday after class?” I perk up.

 

“Yeah, that’s what I was going to say.”

 

I grab my schedule and add the meeting times to it so I wouldn’t forget.

 

“Are we going to meet here?“ I ask, capping my pen.

 

“If it’s available, yes. If not, we can always go somewhere else.”

 

I nod understandingly. Then, I look at her in the eyes earnestly. “Can I get your number then? So we could text each other about where we’re gonna to meet up?”

 

She shrugs, “Well we could just wait each other in front of the library and then go wherever we are going to go.”

 

I look at her surprise.

 

“But what if I have a question? How am I gonna talk to you then? This’ll be easier.” I take my phone out of my pocket and unlock it. I pull up my contact book and push the phone into her hands. She sighs and takes it, typing in her information and giving it back to me when she’s done.

 

“Thank you, I promise to keep safe.” She smiles at me and I put the phone back in my pocket. “I’ll text you.”

 

“So, do you have any other questions?”

 

“Yeah, um,” my eyes flit to the side, “Would you mind starting next week?”

 

“Yes, we can. See you Tuesday?”

 

“Yeah,” I smile at her sincerely, dimples and all, and she purses her lips wryly in response, which makes me deflate a little. We stand up from our chairs and pack up our things in silence. As she goes to leave, I grab her arm gently and she stops in her tracks, looking back to me.

 

“Thank you  _so_  much, Alex.”

 

Her mouth drops a little, then, she gives me her first  _smile_  smile, which makes me grin stupidly in return. Her nose scrunches and her eyes almost disappear and it’s just so—

 

“Thank me if you pass.”

 

“What  _do_  you mean?” I tease.

 

She laughs, “Nothing, I was just joking.”

 

I smile at her and she smiles back.

 

“Okay, I have to go now, bye.” She gives me a small wave and I give her one back.

 

I Iean against the wall.

 

_I’ve got her._

 

...

 

When Maggie leaves, Marthe places a hand over mine. I had explanation to give her.

 

“You know that you can tell me if she bothering you, right?”

 

“She just needs me as a math helper, don’t worry.”

 

“You know there a lot of student in school that can help her, you’re not obligated to.”

 

“I know, Marthe, but apparently, I'm her only option.”

 

Marthe huffs unhappily. “She could be lying, you know. Maybe it’s all a charade, maybe she’s using all this as an excuse to get closer to you for one of those bets she makes with her friends.”

 

Sighing, “I know you are worried,” I say, “It's understandable. But, you don't have to worry, trust me.” I pause. “ Plus, you know me. You know how I am about those kinds of things.”

 

She bites her cheek and looks the floor.

 

“If I find out that that’s what’s going on, I promise I’ll leave, okay?”

 

She looks at me, considering her faith in me to actually fulfill my promise.

 

“I  _hate_  how some people treat you. I don’t want Maggie to be another one of those people.”

 

“I know,” I open up my arms and she hugs me, comforting, “Me too.” Marthe tightens her hold momentarily and steps out of the embrace.

 

“You know that if she ever does something, you can tell me. You can trust me.”

 

“Yes ma'am.” I salute, smiling, and she laughs. I join her. As it dies, I bite my cheek and look at her.

 

“Are we cool?” I ask.

 

“Yeah, yeah. You can go.” Marthe waves a hand toward the door, leaning back against her desk.

 

I shake my head in affirmation and haul my backpack over my shoulders, leaving the classroom and going to Maggie at my locker.

 

...

 

After the quick meetup with Maggie, I leave the library and go to the cafeteria to find Kara. I spot her in the middle of the cafeteria with a few of her friends, I gulp nervously. Apprehensively, I walk towards Kara’s table. Kara looks at me, which makes her friends turn as well. There’s a bright smile on her face

 

“Hey Alex, weren't you supposed to be out, like, a half hour ago?”

 

“Yeah, but I had to talk with the teacher.” I rock myself on the bottom of my heels once, pursing my lips, “Wanna head home with me?”

 

“Yeah, of course.”

 

She stands up and takes her backpack, saying goodbye to her friends. Then, we head out of the cafeteria together.

 

“So… How was your day?” I say, breaking the ice.

 

“Incredible, I can’t see why you don't like college.”

 

I smile because at least one of us was enjoying the college experience.

 

“What about you?”

 

“Eh, you know, the usual. Went to class, the library…”

 

“So you stay at the end of the class to talk again about how you’re going to paint your bedroom?”

 

“The usual. Art, I guess. I told her that I was going to start painting my room this weekend, I’m gonna send her a picture once it’s done. You wanna join me?”

 

Kara perks up, “Yes, I would love to help you!”

 

I smile at her and the bus stops in front of us. We board and sit at our usual seats.

 

“So, I was thinking, since my room is going to smell like toxic paint for a few days, would you mind if I spend the night in your bedroom for a few days? We could have a Danvers Sister Weekend.”

 

“Yeah, it been a long time!”

 

“A long time?” I look at her incredulously, “It's been two weeks!”

 

“Exactly! That’s what  _I’m_  saying.”

 

We laugh. I put an arm around her neck and she rests her head on my shoulder.

 

When we get home, I go to my bedroom to prepare everything I would need to paint.

 

I was looking forward to the change and the weekend with my sister. I knew that spending time with her would make me less uneasy about the upcoming session with Maggie.

 

...

 

Now that I didn’t have Alex to distract me, the rest of the day’s events caught up with me.

 

I know that sooner or later, I’m going to see Lucy and have to work through the anger I’m feeling, which I’m sure she is feeling too. Plus, James is probably pissed at me too, but that one was my fault.

 

I wait on the pavement in front of James car, staring at the floor. I hear someone walk and stop right in front of me, I immediately know it’s James when I see his sleek black shoes. I look at him like a wounded puppy who’s done something wrong.

 

“I'm sorry about this morning.”

 

He looks at me blankly but searching. With a deep sight, he takes me in his arms I curl my nimble fingers in his shirt. Gradually, he steps steps back and puts a hand on my upper arm.

 

“Look, I was really stressed this morning. I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me? You know that I'm not here to judge you.” James says, his tone warm and comforting. I look back down at my shoes.

 

“I know, I'm sorry.” I look down, studying my worn sneakers. After counting a few scuffs on the side of them, I return my attention to James, who’s already looking at me, eyes warm and filled with compassion.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” James asks softly.

 

“No, not really.”

 

“You sure? From what I heard, your day was pretty intense.”

 

I whip my head up to look at him, “You heard about what happened?”

 

He shrugs. “Lucy showed me the picture she took. Elena and her gang were talking about it, too.”

 

I cross my arms indignantly, taking deep breaths.

 

“Hey,” he says, “How’s an action movie sound? We can eat chips and candy, make your day a little better?”

 

“After the way I treated you today? I dunno, I don't think I’d deserve that.”

 

“I forgive you. I'm not mad. So,” he scoots closer and swings an arm around my neck, “What do you say?”

 

I look at him, my face breaking into a smile.

 

“I say, it's a big yes.”

 

We smile at each other and we get in the car.

 

… I don't know what I would do without him.

 

...

 

James and I ultimately decide going to the movies is not an option that would be generous for out pockets, so we end up on the couch at his apartment.

 

“I’m guessing Alex made you wear that shirt?”

 

“Yeah, she asked me to wear it to prove that I was serious.”

 

James huffs in amusement, “She got you  _good_.” He wraps an arm around my shoulder as I lay my head on his, “So, how are things going between you two so far?”

 

I laugh acerbically, recalling my desperation. I soften before speaking,  “You know, at first, I thought it’d be impossible, I was almost ready to throw in the towel. But, I had a breakthrough, she smile at me today, laughed, too. I think I’m good,” I look at James in the eye, “Mike’s gonna eat his words,” I cackle, causing James to huff in amusement.

 

I look up to him, “So, now that we’ve got it established that I can tell you anything, I wanted to let you know it’s the same way around. I’m not like Lucy.”

 

James looks down and scratches his shoulder, a nervous tic, “I… I  _would_  like to tell you about something, but I’m not sure it’s even conversation worth, really.”

 

“ _Jaaaaames!_ ” I get uncomfortably close to his face.

 

He laughs and palms my forehead, pushing me away,

 

I grab his arm and get close to him again, “Did a girl catch your eye? Tickle your fancy?”

 

“Eh, you know I’m taking a break right now,” he says cooly.

 

I sit back. “I know how it is, girls are complicated.” A pause. “But seriously though, tell me!”

 

“Okay, okay, okay. So… there’s this girl, Amanda, in my class. She’s really cute and intelligent, you know?”

 

“James… that sounds like a big, fat crush to me.”

 

He groans, knowing he’s trapped. “Okay, so, this is gonna sound really deep—or maybe even stupid—but…” James paused in thought, “«Have you ever met someone and felt an immediate connection? A connection so deep that… something just lights up inside you?»”

 

I stare at him.

 

“Are you sick, James?” I ask, putting a hand on his head and moving it to his cheek, feigning a temperature check. He swats my hand away from his face.

 

“I’m  _serious_ , Maggie! I want to get to know her more. One day it’s gonna happen to you and you’re gonna meet  _the one_.”

 

“Yeah, sure. Maybe if I believed in that old people shit.”

 

He smacks my shoulder playfully and I smack him back.

 

“Okay, okay. Nothing would make this day better than some video games. Black ops two? I still got my PlayStation 3 hooked up.”

 

“Yeah, sure.” He opens a drawer of the TV’s entertainment center and pulls out two controls. He tosses one to me and I catch it in the air.

 

“Alright, let’s go. You mind if I put on some music while we play?”

 

“As long as it’s not some girly-girl garbage, then I heartily permit it.”

 

We laugh and he plugs in his phone in his sound dock next to his TV.

 

It was going to be a great night and an even better weekend.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

**_\- Walls - Ruben -_ **

 

_I've always been part of those cool kids_

_I don't know the pain the way that you know it now_

_Just hear me out_

_Born as a girl* I'm taught to not feel, so_

_I only found a way to suppress it all_

_My walls are tall_

_But the wind has changed_

_My walls are weakening_

_They're gonna fall soon_

_And I'm gonna need you_

_It's been night for days and I don't feel the same_

_They’re gonna fall soon_

_And I’m gonna need you_

(…)

_I haven't hit the ground 'til I do it_

_I'm not a mess unless you see the scars_

_I've heard it all_

_~But you need to understand, I don't do this_

_~ See, I'm a brick away and I had one call ~_

_I need you now_

(…)

_I'll need you around when the wind has quiet down, baby_

 

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that I’m still not over their first real interaction. My writer feelings are having a huge breakdown. I think I like to write this fic a little too much XD.


	6. Making The Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy was at my side during the hardest moments of my life, I wouldn't be who I am now without her. Now at 22, I feel like something is starting to change within me, and I’m worried about what that means.
> 
> This is only the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in a mood to write something funny in this chapter, hope this one served you well. Also, keep an eye out for those Easter eggs. Hint hint, some expressions may sound familiar. They’re more important than you think ;).

 

_Monday, August 29, 2018_

 

 

James and I have a good weekend together.

 

Now, we’re back at school, and I’m anticipating my first date with Alex tomorrow.

 

I would love to talk to her today, she's in Marthe’s class right now. But I know Marthe would probably glare at me the whole time and get me to leave some way or another.

 

I walk to the table, a spring in my step, the crew usually hangs out for lunch.       

 

“Where’s your girlfriend, Maggie?” Mike laughs, mouth full.

 

“Keep on laughing. I’ve got a date with her tomorrow.”

 

Mike drops his carrot onto the table. Everyone watches it fall to the floor, and then they turn to me.

 

“You’re kidding!”

 

“I mean she’s gonna ‘help me’ with my ‘math’, and...” I pause, and Mike leans closer, waiting for more.

 

“...We’re gonna be alone in a soundproof room. I said what I said.” I say.

 

“Ohhhh Maggie is gonna score.”

 

I laugh, taking a bite of the pear in my hand.

 

“Lucy, you miss it, did you hear? Maggie’s gonna get lucky tomorrow!” Mike says, high fiving Max, who’s sitting next to him.

 

“Cool. Does anyone know where Journalism is?” Lucy asks, practically ignoring Mike’s comment.

 

“A320,” James says, mouth full of brownie.

 

“Okay, thanks. Eat well guys.” Lucy walks away.

 

“It seems like Maggie has yet another girl problem.”

 

“Shut up, Mike,”  Maggie deadpans.

 

“She jealous or what?” Mike laughs.

 

“Mike, cut it out,” James warns.

 

“Ugh, whatever. I can never joke around without offending you guys,” Mike rolls his eyes and stands up from the table, he looks at Max,” Your coming Max?”

 

“Yeah, you guys are no fun.”

 

A moment of silence passes between James and me.

 

“They are so stupid.” I spit.

 

James looks at me curiously, “Lucy?”

 

I give him a look that answers his question.

 

“You should go talk to her.”

 

“She’s the one who crossed the line.”

 

He looks sad at me sadly, passing a brownie to me. I take it unenthusiastically.

 

“You know, even it’s not your fault, you should talk to her and explain how your feeling.”

 

I sigh, “I don’t want to do that, I’m always the one who comes crawling back.”

 

“Always. You guys have had shit between you twice.”

 

“Well, the first fallout was because of me.”

 

James sighs.

 

I swing my backpack over my shoulder and take a bite of the brownie, “Anyway I’m gonna go. Thanks for the brownie!”

 

I get up from my seat and walk away, leaving James by himself.

 

...

 

When I get to the hallway, I spot Lucy in front of my Locker. She’s on her phone, but after a few seconds, she turns her head in my direction as if she had sensed my presence.

 

I was already in the middle of the hallway so I knew if turned and left she would get angry and chase after me.

 

When I’m near her, she moves over to the side so I could open my locker.

 

We don’t say a word. I could feel awkward tension and iciness in the air.

 

When I’m done packing my stuff, I hastily put on my back and go to stalk away.

 

Lucy must have had something else in mind because she seizes my arm twist me around to face her. I look at her testily.

 

“Are you gonna stay mad at me forever?” she asks.

 

“I was serious, Lucy.”

 

She sighs, rubbing her arm, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would have done the same thing with someone else. I don't understand why you made such a big deal about it.“

 

“The picture I can deal with, okay? What I’m really mad about is that you’re my best friend, Lucy, and you didn’t even notice how I was feeling, anything about my demeanor. I was—I was on edge with everything with Alex going on. If you were in my place, how would you have reacted?”

 

Lucy stands a little straighter and drops her arm to her sides, “You have a point, but at the same time, it's hard to support the choices you make. I mean— _Alex_?”

 

I arch an eyebrow, and I cross my arms. “Should I take out the list I have of all the assholes you’ve dated? So we can compare?”

 

My eyes furrow in agitation when she barks out a laugh.

 

“Okay, you are right on that, but this is Alex. You know, I was sure you would have backed out of that bet as soon as you got the chance.”

 

“Lucy, you have two choices, you can either stand by my side or not.” Maggie pauses, glancing at Lucy’s feet and looking up into her eyes, “But judging on what you’ve said and the way you’ve been acting, I already know your answer.”

 

Before I can even see her reaction, I turn away from her, biting my cheek.

 

I found the courage to confront her.

 

Now all can do is hope the risk I took pays off.

 

...

 

I go to Marthe’s class searching for Alex.

 

The door is closed and the lights are off.

 

I continue my walk through the hall until I get to my History of Art class.

 

My eyes start to droop, and I drop my head into my hand, holding it up.

 

If the teacher caught me sleeping in her class, she’d probably give me a harder time than the art teacher.

 

I hate history class, no matter what subject it’s related to. I really don’t care what cavemen drew on their stone walls.

 

The class ends before I can die of boredom.

 

When we’re let go, I don’t hesitate to book it out it there. When I open the door, I see Lucy, her phone in her hand. At the sound of the door opening, she looks up and sees me. She puts her phone in her back pocket.

 

We wait until the few students in the hallway disappear so we could say what we needed to say. I cross my arms.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“You were right. I haven’t been acting like a true friend like I should have been.”

 

I stuff my hands in my pockets.

 

Waiting.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise,  I smile, “I didn’t even know you knew that word,” I tease. Lucy almost stalks away in irritation, but I grab her arm gently, prompting her to stop

and come back to me.

 

I look at her warmly.

 

“Thanks for coming back, I forgive you.”

 

At that, she cracks a smile and loops her arm in mine. She gives me a quick kiss on the head and I smile.

 

This girl is the most precious treasure I’ve found yet.

 

“Thanks, because my self-esteem would have taken a real hit,” Lucy says, making me laugh. “Okay, now that everything’s good between us, how do you feel about Sushi? Your place,

friday.”

 

I smile and punch her arm gently.

 

“You got it, it's a deal.”

 

**_––Flashback––_ **

 

_I was sleeping peacefully in my full bed, cocooned in layers of blankets._

 

_My aunt shook me roughly, waking me up._

 

_“Hey, get up. You have to go to school.”_

 

_I roll away from her. “Mmm, five minutes.”_

 

_I heard her laughing as she left my room and leaves the door ajar._

 

_That’s moments before I found out I kinda regret having a dog._

 

_Cheetos ran excitedly into the room, knocking his head into the left leg of the bed and barking like a maniac._

 

_Groaning, I turned to look at him, he’s now propped up at the side of my bed, his tongue almost getting my face._

 

_“Can you shut up?”_

 

_I heard my aunt laughing as I tried to push him down to the floor. All he does is maneuver around my attempts to knock him off balance as he licks my fingers._

 

_“Make him leave!” I groan, burying my face back into my pillow._

 

_She laughed and picked the pup up, hugging Cheetos to her chest._

 

_“Okay, Maggie, it’s been five minutes! Come on, you don’t want to be late on your first day.”_

 

_“I don't want to go! I hate school!”_

 

_“I’m sure you' gonna make a lot of friends. Can you please wake up. I made you some breakfast.”_

 

_“Ugh, fine.” I groan, sitting up and grumpily dragging myself to the edge of the bed._

 

_The smell of bacon wafted into the air._

 

_I should get to it before Cheetos does._

 

_I speed to the kitchen and my aunt serves me a plate of food. I grab a fork from the kitchen drawer and sit at the table. I lean away from the steam to prevent my nose from running._

 

_“The bus is gonna be here in twenty minutes, I already put your lunch in your bag.”_

 

_“Okay.”_

 

_I finished the rest of my breakfast and went to my bedroom to dress, and went to the bathroom to finish getting ready._

 

_When I was done, I grabbed my stuff and went outside to wait for the school bus._

 

_I glance back at the house and see my aunt watching me through the window._

 

_..._

 

_Rosa sighed as she saw her little girl left for school._

 

_The summer had been a tough one, and she did her best to be there for Maggie in any way possible, trying to build a deeper connection with her, trust._

 

_And now, after all that time, she was on her own again. At least for the moment._

 

_Still, it made her antsy just to think about what Maggie might go through today._

 

_Anxious, she called one only friends she had around here, Harold._

 

_He didn’t answer._

 

_At the door, Cheetos began to whine, so she picks him up and cradled him in her arms._

 

_“I know, I know. I’m worried, too.”_

 

_Then, Rosa heard a knock._

 

_Who’s that? she thought._

 

_So ran to the door and peeked through the peephole and saw Harold on the other side. She sighs in relief and opens in,_

 

_“Is someone stressed because it’s Maggie first day of school?” Harold says and Rosa laughs._

 

_“How did you know?”_

 

_He laughs and she rolls her eyes in response. Rosa leads him into the kitchen after closing the door behind him._

 

_“Thanks for coming, I was going crazy. And it’s only been five minutes.”_

 

_“No problem, I’m old and have nothing better to do. The only interesting thing I do is watch the neighbors fight.”_

 

_I laughed as I put a coffee mug in front of him._

 

_“Look, it’s going to be fine, okay? You’re stressing for no reason.”_

 

_“Harold, she’s interested in the most shunned subjects in the history of high school. Science, space, chemistry.  She’s a nerd, and you know what happened to nerds in my time? They were ridiculed. Haven’t you ever seen those teenage movies with them?” suddenly, Rosa’s disposition shifted and she laid a hand over her heart in fear, “And what if she accidentally reveals her sexuality? I love her, no matter what, but I don’t want her to be bullied. She’s had enough of that. Back in Nebraska, it’s so—she was thrown to the wolves back there, I don’t know how they will treat her here.”_

 

 _“Hey, just sit down and relax. We’ll play some card games, watch a good old-fashioned murder story, it’ll be great!  I'm ready to bet 5 dollars that she will come home completely_ _unscathed. ”_

 

_“I hope so…”_

 

_Harold rests his hand on Rosa’s back. Even though Maggie wasn’t her real daughter, he saw Rose bloom into a true mother figure, treating Maggie as if she were hers._

 

_She didn’t need to be a real mom to be one for her._

 

_..._

 

_The bus slowed to a complete stop in front of me._

 

_I bit my lips as the door opened. The driver smiled at me in greeting and I walk up the stairs and take a seat in the middle of the bus next to a girl who’s entranced by her flip phone._

 

_The kids in the back talked noisily and at the front, they were silent, headsets over their ears._

 

_A few students started roughhousing in the back but the driver just kept on going._

 

_The girl next to me was on her flip phone. She turns her head to me and I look away._

 

_The bus parked next to another one and the students walk start to get off. The people who sat in the back push through to the front and run outside._

 

_I’m the last one to step out._

 

_I probably looked like a tourist lost in a foreign country. I felt like it, too. It wasn’t like I had much time to explore the city and school._

 

_I follow the students inside._

 

_I check the sheet in my hand for my locker number and I passed down the same hallway a few times._

 

_“Need help?”_

 

_I turn my head to the girl that, who was sitting next to me on the bus._

 

_“Uh yeah, I have to find my locker.”_

 

_“What’s the number?”_

 

_“300 B.”_

 

_“No way! That’s the same one as mine! Maggie, I assume?”_

 

_I smiled shyly at her excitement.“Yeah, what’s your name?”_

 

_“I’m Lucy, I was here last year, but I wanted to change my locker buddy. The last one was the bitchiest of the bitches.”_

 

_I laughed and she put a hand in front of me in greeting, which I took._

 

_“Can I see your schedule?” I pass it to her and she quickly reads it and hands it back to me with a smile on her face, “We’re in the same class! Cool, huh?” Lucy looks me up and down,_

_“You look nice, by the way.”_

 

_With a thank you, I smiled. She looped an arm through mine, leading us to our first class._

 

_Although I wanted to sit next to her, I couldn’t since the teacher sat the students alphabetically._

 

_When class is over, I wait for her at the door, hoping Lucy would spend time with me._

 

_She comes up next to me and invites me to sit with her at lunch. I sat down at a table and took my lunch out of my bag and Lucy returned with a tray of cafeteria food._

 

_“So, where did you go to school before?”_

 

_“A high school in Nebraska.”_

 

_“Oh wow! Isn't freezing over there? Did you live in an igloo?”_

 

_I practically choked on my sandwich, barely containing my laughter. “No! We have normal houses there, ya know.”_

 

_“I know, I know, I was joking,” Lucy grins, showing all her teeth. I laugh._

 

_As we were eating, a few students stopped by to say hi Lucy._

 

_When we’re finished, we went back to our lockers and left our bags in there since the teachers let us roam the school for the rest of the day. There was sports going on outside, a few arts and crafts classes, and some interesting chemistry experiments._

 

_As I closed my locker, a group of girls approached us asking Lucy about some fest. She smiled excitedly and turned back at me._

 

_“Hey, so I’ve got things to do. I’ll see you later, okay?”_

 

_“Okay, see you later.” I wave goodbye and she leaves, leaving me alone in the hallway._

 

_I stand still, gazing at the end of the hall where I last saw her. Then, I look at the floor and take a deep, controlled breath because of the anxiety bubbling in my stomach because_

 

_Where am I gonna go now?_

 

_Then, I had an Idea._

 

_The library._

 

 _When I finally make my way there, I push the door open and see three students. I find my way to the science section and smile when I recognize some of the names since I have a few_ _at home._

 

_So I took one and walked to an empty table._

_I read, and read and read for an hour, tirelessly. I stop and look up when I hear Lucy’s voice._

 

_“Hey! I’ve been searching for you for an hour!”_

 

_“Hey, Lucy. Yeah, don’t worry, it’s okay. I was reading.”_

 

 _“Wow, you must’ve been really bored to read these kinds of things.” Lucy disinterestedly flipped through the book with a finger, letting the pages and cover fall to a close on their_ _own._

 

_“Eh, yeah, I guess,” I said, placing a hand on top of the cover._

 

_“I felt bad that I left you, so I came back, but you weren't here. I wanted to ask, what do you think about coming to my house this weekend?”_

 

_“I would love to! Are you sure though?”_

 

_“Yeah, why not?”_

 

_“Nothing, it just seems like you’ve got a bunch of friends here.”_

 

_“Maggie, don't start. I don’t know about you, but I feel like we’re going to be besties.”_

 

_I laugh and she smiles at me. She puts an open hand in front of me and I take it._

 

_..._

 

_I took the bus home._

 

_When I got there, I saw Harold and Aunt Rosa waiting for me. I smiled big._

 

_I run to my aunt and jump into her arms, she hugs me tightly._

 

_“Wow, did you miss me?”_

 

_“So, so much,” I leaned away from her so I could look her in the eyes, “Guess what? I made a friend there!”_

 

_My aunt grabbed my hands excitedly, “I told you would make friends here!”_

 

_“Yeah! She gave me her number, she wants to see me this weekend. Is that okay?”_

 

_“Of course, Maggie. I’m glad you two ended became friends so quickly.”_

 

_We smiled at each other._

 

_“Ah, I remember those days…”  Harold said wistfully._

 

_“Aw, Harold,” Rosa said, wrapping an arm in his back and patting his shoulder sympathetically._

 

_“These are going to be the best four years of your life, Margarita.”_

 

_“Thank you Daddy Duck!”_

 

_“You’re welcome.”_

 

_Maggie turns to her aunt, “I’m gonna go see my baby now.”_

 

_“Of course. He missed you a lot, whining all day, that one.”_

 

_She momentarily put a hand on my back before I ran up the stairs, skipping every other step to get to our floor faster._

 

_..._

 

_“At her age, I found a girlfriend like this,” Harold snapped his fingers._

 

_Rosa punched Harold's arm, which made him burst into laughter._

 

_“What? You’re gonna have to deal with it sooner or later, whether you want to or not!”_

 

_“She’s fourteen years old, Harold. She’s young.”_

 

_“Well, you know, back in my day…”_

 

_Rosa puts up an arm, a silent Save it._

 

_“You do know that even though she’s a lesbian, she’s not going to fall in love with every girl she meets.”_

 

_“I know, I know. Just teasing you while I still can.”_

 

_“Stop saying that, you’re making me worry.”_

 

_He laughed. After a few more minutes of conversation, he left, waving goodbye._

 

_She turned back and walked up the stairs to returning home with to her beautiful girl and their stupid dog._

 

**_––End Flashback––_ **

 

We go to Lucy’s.

 

It’s a white house located in the rural side of it National City in a neighborhood where all the houses look the same.

 

When we pass the kitchen, I wave hi to her parents, who are making supper, and they wave back as we make our way up to Lucy’s bedroom. We throw our bags by the door and I jump in Lucy’s bed and close my eyes while she walks to her wardrobe.

 

Lucy is lucky, having two loving parents.

 

She looks to be  _really_  digging through her wardrobe, which piques my interest.

 

_What is she looking for?_

 

She takes her shirt off and I laugh.

 

“Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just sitting  _right here_.”

 

“Stop it, I know you want me.”

 

I laugh and I take out my phone to check my notifications. After a minute, I look up.

 

Lucy’s shirt is a bright green, I look at her in confusion because she would never wear that. She puts her hair up in a sloppy bun and puts on a fake pair of glasses she conveniently has in her drawer.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Wait for it…” She tucks her t-shirt in her jeans and she turns and walks like a supermodel. My mouth drops and I laugh because honestly, she looks terrible. Her face twists in a mock angry expression and she tries to steal my backpack.

 

“Do you have your math homework?”

 

“Eh, yeah, why?”

 

“Take it out.”

 

I don’t know where she’s going with this, but I listen. I open my bag and stick a hand in it to dig out my math stuff. As I’m doing that, she moves her desk from the corner of her room to the middle of it, putting two chairs in next of each other. I throw my notebook and Mathematics textbook on top of it and Lucy drags them toward her. She sits on the chair across from me and intertwines her fingers.

 

“Okay, sit with me and pretend I’m Alex. We have to prepare you for every possibility possible.”

 

“Are you serious?” I say laughing.

 

“You bet your ass I am. You maybe think that everything will go as planned, but we’re talking about Alex, here. She’s a wild card, we have to be prepared for  _anything_.”

 

“Okay then…”

 

I laugh and drag the chair towards me and sit across from her.

 

“First mistake—do you want to be in the friendzone?—you have to put the chair  _next_  to me.”

 

“Ugh, fine.” I push the chair until it’s next to her and sit down. “Now what?” I ask.

 

“Flirt with her—me. Show me your skills, Sawyer.”

 

“But it's  _you_! It’s weird!”

 

She sight and removes the frames from her face, “These glass hurt my eyes.”

 

“Lucy, they’re fake.”

 

“Exactly. It hurts my real eyes.”

 

I roll my eyes, “You don’t need to wear glasses anyway, Alex doesn’t usually wear any.”

 

“Well, I look like I have a brain when I’m wearing them, so…”

 

I laugh as she opens my notebook and textbook, she hands me a pencil.

 

“Okay, let’s start with number one,” she taps the page.

 

“‘Kay.”

 

I scooch my chair closer to her until our arms are almost touching. Lucy bites her lip, looking at me. I stare at her awkwardly few seconds and then refocus my eyes back onto the page, she does the same.

 

She reads the equation out loud and she stays silent for a good five seconds, I almost laugh.

 

“Okay, but seriously. What. The. Fuck?”

 

“Hey! Don’t break character, I’m trying to concentrate here.”

 

She huffs, momentarily frowning, and I smile.

 

“Okay, so your answer was 56.” She pauses, “Wait, that’s right!” Lucy says in surprise.

 

“Yeah, I listened to your directions.” I lean in a bit closer.

 

She turns her head to me with a wide smile and I smile back flirtingly.

 

“Wow, I didn’t know you were so intelligent. It's actually kinda surprising, but it makes you  _so_  much more  _sexier_.”

 

“ _Lucy_!” I squeal, “Alex would never say that.”

 

“I’m the one playing Alex, I do whatever I want.”

 

I sigh as Lucy reaches in her bag and takes out an eraser for me.

 

I do another equation that looks easy enough and push my notebook to her once it’s done.

 

She leaned close to me and I frown suspiciously.

 

“You see? You're doing great so far…” she whispers, putting an hand around my neck and moving a stand of hair out of my face. I shift awkwardly.

 

_Okay, now she’s getting super out of character…_

 

Suddenly, I feel lips on my cheek and I whip my head around to face Lucy.

 

“Did you just  _kiss_ my _cheek_?”

 

“Yeah, I could think of a few other places I’d like to kiss, too.”

 

My mouth drops in shock, and Lucy cups my face, closes her eyes, and leans close. She was going in for a kiss.

 

“Woah!” I push her face away with a hand, “Get away from me!”

 

“Oh come  _on_! Do it for the scene!”

 

“That would never _happen_.”

 

“ _Exactly_  we’re preparing for the impossible! Which will make you prepared for anything!” Lucy adjusts her glasses, getting back into character, “Now, where were we?”

 

“No, I'm done! End scene!”

 

She groans and takes off the glasses, dropping on the table, “You tell me to prepare you for anything, I conjure up this amazing plan, I commit to the amazing plan, and now you don’t want to go through with it. I planned this all night, I lose sleep for this!” Lucy jokes.

 

I roll my eyes at her and she nudges me in response, “I'm good, I promise.”

 

She huffs and strips off her  _Alex Costume,_ and throws on a large black shirt over herself, “Okay, whatever you say.”

 

Lucy pulls me towards her and we jump in her bed. She grabs the TV remote and she puts on her favorite series,  _Pretty Little Liars_. She runs to the kitchen and throws some popcorn in the microwave. After a minute, she runs back with a large bowl and gets back on the bed, putting the popcorn between us. I take a handful.

 

Once she’s settled on her pillow, she looks to me.

 

“So, how are things with her, by the way?”

 

I look at her, mouth full of popcorn. I close my mouth and make a slow, exaggerated crunch. She laughs and I finish my bite before answering.

 

“Good, I think. She laughed _and_  smiled when she was with me last time we were together.”

 

“ _Wow._  Alex can smile at people other than her sister?”

 

“Yeah. It’s going good. Hard to read her signals though.”

 

“You know what they say, Make a woman laugh and you're halfway there.”

 

I laugh and she put her arm around me.

 

“I sure hope so!”

 

“Me too. You gotta get this thing with Alex over with quick, it doesn’t to look good on you.”

 

Maggie glances at Lucy and looks back at her hands. She picks at her nails.

 

“Yeah…”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_-Open Season - Josef Salvat -_

_We used to have it all planned_

_We thought we knew what it all looked like_

_We were looking out on the greatest view_

_We were raised to take a stand_

_We were raised to keep our mind open_

_We believe we just sail on through_

_Now I'm a hundred miles an hour_

_Sitting in my palace without any power_

_Alone in the dark_

_We're alone in the dark_

_Thoughts we could always try a bit harder_

_But if the dice don't wanna roll in your favor_

_It falls apart, the fantasy falls apart_

_And this is open season_

_Time is up, time to be leaving_

_Head on down this is very arbitrary_

_Armor up, and say your prayers_

_From underdogs and millionaires_

_I heard you better off on your own_

_But I ain't gonna face this hunt alone_

_So I'll be needing you_

_And i know you'll be needing me too_

_We in this game together_

_And I believe in you_

_And I know you believe in me too_

_All the faces we've forgotten_

_All the tracks we given up_

_No, it was nowhere near enough_

_But I take it as it comes_

_It take it all, and run where it go_

_We're only at the start_

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When I get home from school, I immediately jump in the shower. It was great to have some a moment to myself to relax.

 

This weekend has been crazy. Kara and I had so much fun together, the time flew by.

 

I quickly wash myself with an  _All Natural_  vanilla soap bar and then I take a few peaceful minutes to enjoy the hot water and feel the tension in my muscles melt away under the spray. After washing my hair with vanilla scented  _Biologika_ shampoo, I shut the water off and take my towel to dry myself.

 

I wrap the towel around me and change into the pajamas that I left on the counter. When I get out of the bathroom, I see  Kara across the hall waiting at my closed bedroom door, tapping her feet. Hearing my footsteps, she looks up at me with a smile.

 

When I’m close enough, she opens the door, revealing her final touches of my bedroom.

 

 

The bottom of it is painting gray and the top is paintied a glowing stars and planets lined the top of the room and my nightstand, and three lightsabers are hung near my dresser next to my corkboard.

 

I jump on my bed and Kara sits on the floor near it.

 

"I thought maybe I could take my sleeping bag and sleep here with you for the night.”

 

"Of course! You don't even have to ask.”

 

“Okay!” she says, running out of the bedroom. I get comfortable as I wait for her to come back.

 

“You know, it would be easier if you had a bunk bed, or a full.”

 

“Why would I get either of things? The only occasional company I ever have in my bedroom is you.”

 

“Exactly, and I don't love sleeping on the floor.”

 

I smile at her, pulling the duvet over my chest.

 

“So, about tomorrow, I was thinking we could read some of  _Astronomica_?”

 

"When?"

 

“After your first class?”

 

I bite my cheek and open my phone so I don’t have to look Kara in the eye, "I have homework to do…”

 

"We could do it together."

 

"Yeah, but mine is hard and I focus better when I’m alone…Sorry.”

 

She turns her head to me and I smile at her apologetically.

 

"It’s okay,” she says, “Next time then."

 

"Yeah, we’ll see. Most Tuesdays and Thursdays I reserve to work on tough homework, you know.”

 

"Ah, okay."

 

I lock my phone and place it on my night table. I turn away from Kara and pull the blanket a little higher on my body.

 

It’s hard to keep this all from Kara.

 

But my mind keeps telling me one thing.

 

_Don’t tell her._

 

_« t was easy to say that nothing would ever happen. It was easy to say that it was never going to work._

_It was easier, more fun, to tease her._

_What I’m feeling, it’s confusing, hard to understand. And it’s all because of her. Now is the time, now it's going to happen, and that is scary for someone like me. »_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I laugh every time I read the scene between Maggie and Lucy. I love their friendship so much.


	7. It's Only Professional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was like a job. You do the work, keep it serious, and keep it professional. I’m trying my best to adhere to those rules, but it’s hard to not cross the line between business and personal relationships when it was disappearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a mix of Maggie’s backstory and Alex giving Maggie the cold shoulder.
> 
> The question is, Why is she?

 

\- Tuesday, August 30, 2018 -

 

 

 

I wake up to Cheetos slobbering all over my face.

 

 

With a grunt of disgust, I push his face away from mine and wipe his drool from my skin with the corner of my blanket.

 

Apparently, Cheetos takes my door being ajar as an invitation.

 

_I should have shut the door last night._

 

As I pull sit up, Cheetos runs off and quickly returns with his leash between his teeth.I grab my phone from my nightstand to check the time.

 

7 am.

 

Given that I spoiled him for most of his pup years, the least he could have done was wake me up at a reasonable hour.

 

Groaning, I sit up and pull myself to the edge of the bed. Cheetos pants at my feet, tongue out, and his leash at his paws.

 

I quickly slip on my Vans, a black sweater, and grab his leash from the floor. I hook it to his collar, I grab my reusable water bottle from the fridge and go to the door. I try to make the least amount of noise I can to not disturb my aunt. I walk Cheetos out and close and lock the door behind me.

 

It’s early enough that the streets are bare. In fifteen minutes, only two old joggers run by me.

 

I take a deep breath, breathing in the fresh autumn air.

 

Fall is one my favorite seasons after Summer. Not only because of the colors that reveal themselves in the season but the coziness of the season too. Warm tea, hot chocolate, and Netflix and Chill dates.

 

After walking for another ten minutes, I take a seat on a nearby bench at a small park. Cheetos walks under the bench and settles between my feet. I hunch over to pet him and then lean back on the bench, relaxed.

 

I lift my water bottle to my lips and take a few sips.

 

As I’m drinking, I hear Cheetos whine.

 

I laugh and take the cap off, leaning forward so he could have easier access to the bottle. He laps at the inside until it’s empty. I screw the top back on and stand up, making him do the same.

 

We start the walk back home.

 

When I get to the door, I grab the keys and unlock the door. I try to enter the house quietly.

 

Cheetos seems to have a different idea. He trapezes through the house all the way to Aunt Rosa’s room and I run after him.

 

I hear her shriek with laughter and I tumble through the door. I look up and laugh at the scene in front of me.

 

She’s still covered in blankets, and her face is a bit puffy as if she was just woken up—and Cheetos, just as he’d done to me, is all over her.

 

She tries to calm the energetic dog down, petting him gently.

 

“Gentle, Cheetos, be gentle,” Rosa laughs, Cheetos bombarding her face with wet kisses.

 

I laugh at the role-reversal. She sits up in the bed, still petting Cheetos, and she smiles at me.

 

“Sleep well?” I ask.

 

She nods, standing up from the bed.

 

“Yeah, pretty well.”

 

She points to Cheetos, “I’m guessing he woke you.”

 

"What do you think? That I woke up this early for fun?” I say, which makes her laugh.

 

We weren’t morning people.

 

“Are you all good for lunch?” she asks.

 

“Yeah, thank you for packing me something.”

 

Rosa pushes the dog off of her gently and stands up. We walk to the kitchen and She grab the first chair she sees and flops on it tiredly. I sit on the chair across from her on the other side of the table.

 

I fetch the newspaper in the mailbox outside and hand it to her. She thanks me and begins to read it.

 

“Okay, I’m gonna head out now, love you, Mom.”

 

I see her eyes smile as she looks at me over her coffee mug.

 

"Love you too, darling."

 

I squat when I see Cheetos tumbling toward me. He jumps in my arms ecstatically, nosing around my neck and face. I kiss him on the head and ruffle his fur.

 

“Be a good boy for me!”

 

…

 

As I close the door to the apartment, James pulls up. I run over and he opens the door for me. I jump in.

 

We drive to Lucy’s to pick her up.

 

“What's up, guys?”

 

“You’re back!”

 

“Yeah, I had things to do last night.”

 

An unfamiliar girl enters the car and James laughs.

 

“I guess there are the things.”

 

Lucy smiles and the girl’s face flushes.

 

“Thanks for the ride,” she says.

 

“You’re welcome, Julie,” James says, a smile on his face.

 

We turn to him.

 

“You two know each other?”

 

“We’re in the same English class.”

 

“Okay... Well, I don't know if this is awkward or not," Lucy says smiling, fidgeting with a strand of Julie’s hair.

 

I smile at them, they’re kinda cute together.

 

...

 

Finally at school, we get out of the dark jeep.

 

James kills the engine and we all get out of the car, it beeps twice as he locks it. We say goodbye and disperse, Julie follows him and I assume they have English together this morning.

 

As I go to take a step forward, Lucy takes my arm and stops me in my tracks.

 

“So, you joining me in the caf today? I can give you details of our night.”

 

I laugh but then look at her apologetically.

 

“I would say yes, but I’m seeing Alex today.”

 

She looks at me, distaste written over her face.

 

“Excuse me, you prefer to see a nerd nerding than getting all the gritty details about what I got down to last night?”

 

I shrug, laughing when Lucy crosses her arms, feigning anger.

 

“I swear if I don't get any details about Alex, I’m going to be mad at you for  _at least_  three weeks!” she says.

 

Holding back a laugh, I cross my arms, mirroring her.

 

“Okay, I will let you go to your precious date,” Lucy says, backing away from her. As she gets further along the hallway, she calls over her shoulder, giving me one last piece of advice, “Have fun tonguing her! I’d think about something else though if I were you—it probably won’t be pleasant.”

 

I roll my eyes.

 

Even when she’s gone, I still hear her laughter echoing down the hallway.

 

…

 

Math supplies in my bag, I close my locker and check the time.

 

I get to class five minutes early. I take a seat next to Alex, who looks pretty busy writing in her notebook. She doesn’t acknowledge me so I just grab my textbook and binder and put them on my desk.

 

I wait for Professor J’onzz to arrive and prepare myself for what I know is going to be a long, long class.

 

Once he arrives, he jumps right in. I copy down what he puts on the board. I pay him as attention as much as I can, but information still goes through one ear out the other.

 

Once he finishes his lecture, he passes out a worksheet to the class.

 

“Most of you might not finish today in class, so I will assign it for homework. Despite that, please use the rest of class time to work on it.”

 

I place my notes next to the page and get started. I work my way through two equations by the time class ends.

 

I pack my bag carefully and wait for Alex to lead us to the library.

 

As I’m putting the last of my supplies in my bag, she shoots up and speeds out the door without a glance at me.

 

I zip my bag closed and stand still for a moment.

 

_Did she change her mind?_

 

I walk out the door and take my cell phone out and scroll through my contacts for Alex.

 

I text her.

 

_Hey Danvers, it's Sawyer._

 

I lock my phone and put it in my pocket, deciding to wait for her at the library. When I get to the doorway, I note she’s not outside.

 

Nowhere to be found.

 

I peek inside and walk around the hall looking for her before giving up and deciding to wait.

 

I check my notifications to see if she answered my text, but there was nothing but a text from Lucy, telling me how she was going to die of boredom if the teacher didn’t pick up the pace.

 

I sigh, scrolling through my apps to pass the time. After a few minutes, I put the phone in my pocket. I walk to the bathroom nearby.

 

I put my bag right outside the stall and go in. I do my business, wash my hands and dry them. I check my phone, hoping for a text from Alex, but nothing.

 

I pick up my bag. Mindlessly, I turn my head to the right, and of course, she was there.

 

A full circle.

 

She has her headphones in her ears and a sandwich in her hand. I huff in amusement, I stand there and wait for her to notice me.

 

When she finally looks up at me, her cheeks are rounded by the food she’s still chewing.

 

"So this is where you’ve been hiding," I say.

 

She pulls a headphone out of her ear, swallowing before speaking.

 

"I thought you were gonna eat before meeting up."

 

I nod in understanding and pick up my bag from the floor.

 

"We can eat while we’re working if you want. We don't know how much time I need until I get anything."

 

"Okay,” she says, “Let me finish this, I’ll meet you in the front of the library."

 

I nod, turn away from her, and exit the bathroom.

 

…

 

I wait for her at the library entrance, swinging my arms idly.

 

I check the time on my phone and sigh.

 

I hear footsteps and I look up, hoping it’s her.

 

It’s Alex.

 

She gives me a tight smile as our eyes meet. She takes a sip of water from her bottle and once she’s close to me, She nods her head in the direction we’re going and I follow her.

 

I follow her through the library. She weaves through the stacks like she knows the place like the back of her hand.

 

I wouldn’t be surprised if she does.

 

We stop at the edge of the library, where there are a few doors. She approaches the one with a window next to it and glances in. She opens it and walks in, motioning me to follow.

 

She puts her notebook and pens on the table and her bag on the floor. I look at the chair across from her and think about that night with Lucy. I try to hide my smile.

 

I drag the chair to the other side of the table next to Alex. She looks at me curiously, asking.

 

“I thought sitting next to you will make this easier.”

 

She nods and slides her stuff over, making space for mine. I sit down.

 

“Where do we start?”

 

“Take out the exercises the teacher gave us.”

 

I reach in my bag and pull out my Mathematics folder. I take the correct paper out and give it to her.

 

She looks at it and flips it to the other side, then turns it again.

 

“That’s all you did?”

 

I nod, a grimace on my face. She takes an eraser and erases three of the equations I managed to do in class.

 

“Can I see your notebook?”

 

“Sure,” I say.

 

I open my binder and unclip my notebook from it. I pass it to her. She flips through it, analyzing.

 

“You take great notes,” she says, she looks at me, “Let’s start and see where you’re going wrong.”

 

I nod, moving my chair a bit closer to her as she slides the paper in front of me. I take a pencil from my bag.

 

“So, tell me,” she says, tapping the end of her pencil on the page, “How would you simplify the equation?”

 

“Condense it.”

 

“Yeah, but what do you do first?”

 

“Move the  _x_  to the other side of the equation?”

 

“You got it. You see? You don’t even need me,” she says, she gestures to the paper, “Go ahead,” she says.

 

I nod and start working on the first equation. While I’m doing that, Alex pulls a Tupperware bowl filled with red grapes and begins eating them.

 

I finish. I look, expecting her to check my work, but she glances at the paper, silently saying for me to continue. With her still looking over my shoulder, I start on the next one.

 

I see Alex writing in a notebook in the corner of my eye.

 

I put down my pencil after finishing the last equation. I raise my head and turn to her and our eyes meet for a moment. She slides the paper over to her and she looks at my work, she looks back up to me again. By the look on her face—though it’s evident she’s trying to hide it—it was obvious that I got them wrong.

 

I look at her desperately and she grabs eraser again to clean my page. She then takes out a draft paper and passes it over to me.

 

Good thinking since I’m positive the printer paper probably couldn’t take any more erasing.

 

"Okay, we’re gonna do it together. What do you do first?"

 

I glance away from her to the worksheet and meet her eyes again.

 

“Uh, the subtraction?”

 

She shakes her head and I sit there, lost.

 

“You’ve never heard about PEMDAS?”

 

My eyes widen in recognition.

 

“Oh,  _yeah_. I forgot about that. I haven’t had a math class in  _years_.”

 

I pick up my pencil and get to work.

 

_Parenthesis first, exponents… left to right for multiplication and division..._

 

Alex frowns, "Why do you need to take this class anyway?" she asks.

 

“It was a complementary course requirement. My first choices were Spanish and informatics."

 

I erase the last step I did after I notice a mistake, I hear Alex unscrewing the lid to her bottle.

 

"Nothing else was offered?"

 

Alex goes to take a sip of water.

 

"Well, the other two were  _Geography_  and  _How to Deal with Monsters_ , aka _Child Care_ ," I say, momentarily pausing to give her a look.

 

Alex sputters, lightly choking.

 

“Wow okay, I see,” she says, coughing into her hand, “Aren't you in an art program?”

 

“Yeah, Photography.”

 

She nods and turns back to the page in front of her.

 

“It just sucks you have to take it since you’re not going to need it in your field.”

 

“Yeah, I know.”

 

She continues writing in her notebook. When I finish with the equation, I look to her.

 

“Okay, done!”

 

I lean away from the paper and she takes it in her hands. Her eyes scan over it, checking my work.

 

“You got it, Sawyer. I knew you could do it,” Alex says, turning to me with a small smile on her face. I smile back.

 

She leans in.

 

“Unfortunately,” she teases, “That was only the first one out of 10.”

 

I groan, laying my head on the table. She laughs.

 

“Come on, we’re just getting started. Let’s keep going,” she says, pep in her tone.

 

I sit up and she hands me my worksheet.

 

…

 

I was working on the seventh equation when I hear my phone buzz. Alex looks at me I take a quick peek at it, biting my lips when I see that it’s Lucy.

 

I lock it and we get back to work.

 

It buzzes again, sending a steady vibration to my hand.

 

I check it real quick and put in on  _Do Not Disturb_.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“It’s fine.”

 

I tap the end of my pencil on the desk

 

“Can you explain it to me one more time? To make sure I got it?”

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

I move closer to her and our legs accidentally brush against each other.

 

I’ve noticed she likes her space around people she doesn’t know well, so I’m not surprised when she moves a bit away from me to reestablish her personal space.

 

“Okay, I have to go now. I have class.”

 

“Oh?” I say, taking my phone to look at the time, “When does it start?”

 

“Half hour.”

 

She starts packing.

 

“You can’t stay for a few more minutes? Just until I finish?”

 

She zips her bag closed and hauls it to her shoulder.

 

“No, sorry, I have other things to do.”

 

“Oh, okay…”

 

“Do you think you can finish it?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll text you if anything.”

 

“Okay, you want to keep my notes?”

 

“If you don't mind. I’ll give it to you next class.”

 

With nothing more than a shake of her head, she leaves.

 

I watch her go, a heavy feeling in my chest.

 

For some reason, I thought this would go differently.

 

It’s only professional.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_-  Stay - Zedd, Alessia Cara -_

_Waiting for the time to pass you by,_

_hope the winds of change, will change your mind_

_I could give a thousand reason why_

_And I know you, and you’ve got too_

_Make it on your own, but we don’t have to grow up_

_We can stay forever young, living on my sofa, drinking rum and cola_

_under the rising sun, but you’re going and you know that_

_All you have to do is, stay a minute_

_Just take your time, the clock is ticking, so stay_

_Your hand on mine_

(...)

_Won’t admit what I already know_

_I’ve never been the best at letting go,_

_I don’t wanna spend the night alone_

_Guess I need you, and I need to_

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

As open my messages to read Lucy’s text, she starts to call me.

 

_“You’re alive!”_

 

I laugh.

 

“I told you I was going to be with Alex so she could help me with Math.”

 

_“Is that what the kids are calling sex these days?”_

 

I laugh.

 

“You’re ridiculous.”

 

 _“Come_ on _, gimme deets!”_

 

“Um, our knees touched.”

 

Silence.

 

_“And that's it?”_

 

“Yeah, that's it.”

 

“Hey, cut me some slack, you know her. And, I’ve already made her smile and laugh! She’s warming up to me already.”

 

_“Wow, bravo.”_

 

By her voice, I can tell she’s smiling.

 

“Anyway…”

 

_“Anyway! We’re still on for Friday right? You bring the hospitality, I bring the sushi?”_

 

“Yes, Friday! I have a little homework to do, but it’s fine.”

 

_“Great! I’ll be bringing some cookies for the love of my life.”_

 

“Ugh,” Maggie says, “I’m touched.”

 

_“I was talking about Cheetos.”_

 

“Oh. I see.”

 

_“Okay, I have to go, I see a hot guy turning the corner. Talk to you later!”_

 

“Okay, bye! Talk to you later.”

 

I hang up.

 

James smiles at me as I enter the classroom, I smile back.

 

“I tried to find you earlier during lunch break, where have you been?”  he asks.

 

“Library,” I say, standing at my desk and quickly scrolling through my notifications on my phone.

 

“The library?”

 

I slip my bag from my shoulders and lay it on the floor as I make myself comfortable on the chair. I look at my phone again.

 

“Uh, yeah. Alex was—she was helping me with math stuff.”

 

“So, Mike was  _right_  when he said you had a date,” he laughs.

 

I sigh, dropping my phone on the top of the desk.

 

“Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. How did it go?”

 

I make a face.

 

“Math is something, I’ll probably never understand.”

 

“No,” James says, resting his cheek in his hand, “I mean with Alex.”

 

“Nothing, as usual. Why do you ask?”

 

“I don’t know, I’m kinda curious about the development.”

 

I quirk my eyebrow skeptically.

 

“Development?”

 

“Put yourself in my shoes. You’re participating in the bet of the century. You, Maggie Sawyer, the player, are going to make Alex Danvers swoon, someone who’s never showed any interest in anyone  _ever_. You’ve got me intrigued, you can’t deny the appeal of it all.”

 

James raises his eyebrows and stares at me meaningfully.

 

“I mean, yeah, when you put it that way. Just thought you meant something else, it scared me for a sec.”

 

He laughs loudly, which makes me smile. I turn away from him as the teacher begins to talk.

 

**_—Flashback—_ **

 

_We were walking in to hallways. Lucy waves in greeting to everyone who notices her in the hallway. It didn’t take long for her to get friendly with most of the freshmen in her dorm. Once the conversations dissipated, she turned to me._

 

_“So, what about, the guy you had a date with ?” I asked, and her face blanked._

 

_“Oh him? Yeah, we broke up.”_

 

_“Oh, I’m sorry.”_

 

_“Ah, don’t worry about it, I’m fine,” Lucy says, she rolls her eyes, “All he did was play video games anyway, never gave me the time of day.”_

 

_I put my arms though the sleeves of my leather jacket and fix it over my shoulders. Lucy quickly throws an arm around me._

 

_“What about you? Anyone new catch your eye after that crazy one?”_

 

_“Not right now.”_

 

 _“Oh, come_ on, _Mags_. _You’ve gotta get a girl, have some fun.”_

 

_I rolled my eyes and pushed her away gently. Lucy smiled and widened her eyes dramatically._

 

 _“Oh_ no _,” she said, “Don't say you’ve got a crush on me!”_

 

_“Ew, no!”_

 

_“Ouch! C’mon, you’ve gotta admit, I’m hot, super fun, I’m a great kisser. We can even test that.”_

 

_I halted in the middle of the hallway in shock, staring at Lucy wide-eyed which made her burst into laughter._

 

_“I’m kidding! You’re like my sister!”_

 

_I roll my eyes and we stop at the school auditorium._

 

_“Anyway, I’m gonna head to Theater. I’ll see you later,” Lucy said, touching my arm and then going through the heavy double doors in front of us. The slam rung through the hall for a few moments. I start walking when the sound dies._

 

_My footsteps echoed through the barren hallway. The quietness triggered a bubble of anxiety to build in my chest._

 

_I stopped in front of a door with Photography engraved into a silver plate. I pushed it open and saw a man right behind it, I jumped in fright, not expecting anyone to be so close._

 

_“Oh! Hello—sorry about that!”_

 

_“It’s okay. I kinda snuck in.”_

 

_The man opened the door wider and invited me in._

 

_“Hey, I’m James,” He said, sticking his hand out._

 

_I tipped my head in greeting and shook his hand for a quick moment._

 

_“Maggie.”_

 

_He nudged me alongside him and began showing me around the club area._

 

 _“So there’s the sofa where you can relax—no making out on it—the microwave, and_ here _,” he says, gesturing to a tall wall filled with black and white prints, “We display student work.”_

 

_I stepped up to the wall to get a closer look at the photos. Each one had a half inch between them, leaving the space for an artist’s name and title. I hunched over and examined a photo of a what I assumed to be a nighttime scene. Short depth of field, harsh red bokeh behind the subject—a woman—expressively blurred by a long exposure._

 

_“Wow, they’re beautiful.”_

 

_“They are,” James said, looking to me, “You want to be part of it?”_

 

_“I wish, but I don’t have money to apply.”_

 

_“It’s free.”_

 

 _“It’s_ free _?”_

 

_“Yeah, this—the gallery—is open to all the students in the major. All you have to do is fill out an installation form to present your work here. All you’ve got to do is stay here after school.”_

 

_I thought about it for a second. Lucy could give me a ride home after Theater Club._

 

_“That sounds good to me,” I said, and James’s face brightened as if he didn’t hear that often._

 

_“Okay, cool! You’ve been accepted into the gallery! Let me get a few things for you to fill out.”_

 

_James jogged across the room, turning and grabs a few papers that are placed within a nook in the wall. He walked back to me._

 

_“You don't need my portfolio or anything?”_

 

_“We are now three in the club. There’s no need to compete,” he said, laughing as he passed me the form._

 

_I began to fill it out and James started up some small talk to dissipate any awkward air that was between us. When I finished the forms, I passed them to him._

 

_“Maggie Sawyer, 18 years old, woman, and—duh!—photography.”_

 

_“Yeah, I’m planning to major in it,” I said_

 

_James laughs warmly, “Like most in the photography club,” he said. After a moment, he adds, “Welcome to the club, Maggie! Make yourself comfortable.”_

 

_I sat on the couch and James sits across from me. We started talking to each other, and we become comfortable with each pretty quickly. Fast friends._

 

_A woman bursts into the room, stopping when she notices me._

 

_“I hate this administration! They said we need to have at least five members or they’ll shut us down. It’s the beginning of the year, what do they expect? For people to flock to us immediately? I want to punch them in the—Oh, hi.”_

 

_She had dark hair, and a tattoo going down her arm._

 

_“Hi,” I said shyly._

 

_“Call me Stef. What’s your name, cutie?”_

 

_“Uh—Maggie.I’m—Maggie.”_

 

_“Don't feel too special she calls everyone that,” James cuts in._

 

_“Shut up James… So, who are you exactly? Friend of James?”_

 

_I smile stupidly, and James answers for me._

 

_“She’s a new member to the Photography Club,” he says, handing Stef the form I filled out earlier. She flits her eyes across the page._

 

_“Cool. Two more members and we’re full.”_

 

_Stef passes the page back to James and turns back to me, smiling._

 

_“Do you have any pictures on you? I want to see your skills.”_

 

_“Uh, yeah! Probably... somewhere in my bag.”_

 

_I take my back on my feet and check in in as I take out my wallet. She sat right next to me on the couch. She’s so close that our legs are touching and our arms are pressed together._

 

_I froze._

 

_“H-here you go,” I said shyly, pulling a strand of hair behind my ear._

 

_She looked at the picture, caressing it with her thumb._

 

_“Wow, this is quite impressive,” Stef said, she looks back up and into my eyes, “You take any classes?”_

 

_“No.”_

 

_She nodded her head, impressed, and stood up to pin the my picture to the wall. She turned to me._

 

_“I hope it's okay if I put it up here. You can take it down whenever you want, of course.”_

 

_“Okay.”_

 

_Stef sat next to me again, I pointed to the tattoo on her arm._

 

_“How’d you get that?”_

 

_“I got it while I was on vacation in Canada with my ex-boyfriend. The legal age is younger there—You can touch if you want,” Stef scoots closer to me, pulling her sleeve more over her shoulder._

 

_I gently traced the design with my pointer finger._

 

_“It’s really cool, amazing. Did it cost a lot?”_

 

_“Didn’t pay,” she smirked._

 

_She got close to me again. It was like she was doing everything she could to make physical contact._

 

_“Get a room, you two.”_

 

_“You’re just jealous,” she teases James._

 

_I laughed and Stef looked at me, a smile on her face._

 

_And that’s where it started._

 

**_—End Flashback—_ **

 

After class, I go home, eat, take a quick shower, at sit at my desk to finish my homework.

 

I sit there a few hours, my hand constantly trading my pencil for a large eraser. After the seventh time of erasing the entire page clean, I growl in frustration.

 

I take a deep breath and massage my temples with the tips of my fingers, blinking away the dryness of my eyes.

 

I pause and sit at my desk in silence for a moment, staring at the wall.

 

I get up to seize my phone from the nightstand and text Alex.

 

_“I’m stuck, can you help me?”_

 

While I wait for her reply, I attempt to solve the question.

 

Thirty minutes later, I check my phone.

 

Nothing.

 

_“Alex?”_

 

An hour later, it’s the same.

 

Nothing.

 

If I could see the future, I would know that she doesn’t answer at all.

 

When two hours turn into three and three to four, I burst.

 

The  _least_  she could have done is let me know she was busy.

 

« This isn’t something we can do alone. We're a team, we have to do this together. Two different worlds, two different powers. We can be something great. »

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will they take the leap and cross the line? I think we all know the answer. The only question is when? ;).


	8. We Make A Good Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex goes through something emotional and keeps it to herself. We all want her to open up about Kara. When will she finally confide in her?
> 
> Also, Maggie begins to question her old ways. Begins to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex got a super emotional moment, we all want her to open up about Kara, but not yet friends.
> 
> Also, Maggie gets back on track. Oh no, but don’t worry, she will, she will.

-31 August 2018-

-Wednesday-

I wait for the elevator impatiently, only a few minutes to spare before class starts. The elevator dings and I wait for the stampede of students to clear out before I step in. I hit the button for the fifth floor. I notice a poster on the far wall, of the elevator and I read it unconsciously. It was some sort of social event for the students with planned activities. Only one line catches my eye. Food and refreshments will be kindly provided by the NCC’s Cafeteria Staff throughout the event. I smile, rejoicing at the fact that I finally won’t have to pay for the food here. So not worth the price it’s sold at.

 

Five bucks for a small container of fries? No thanks. But for free? Yes, please.

 

When I get to class, most of the seats were full. I glance at Alex, who’s in the front, her nose buried in a book. I pass by her silently and take a seat in the back. The class was rowdy, most of the conversation revolving around the class event happening this afternoon. Marthe realizes that none of the students were actively listening, she decided to speed it up for all of our sakes. We’re out of there in less than two hours. Assuming Lucy’s class turned out the same, I text her. One minute later, I see her turn the corner of the hallway. She sprints toward me once she spots me.

 

"Let’s go cash in that free meal!" I wrap an arm around Lucy and pat her ass gently, silently asking her to lead the way.

 

She leads us right outside to Shelly Park, where there are tons of stands set up all the way through. We approach the first one we see, Lucy and I grab a Cherry Gatorade and line up behind a few other students at the Pizza stand to grab a few slices. We gratefully take the cookies and bag of chips the server offers us. By the time we sit down at a table, our pockets and hands are full as if we just got back from a Trick or Treating spree on Halloween. We eat and then decide to wander around and wee what’s going on in different areas of the park. We pass a few game stands and choose to ignore the call of the operators, given then we don’t have much money to spare anyway. I spot James at The Photography Table flirting with that girl in his class. Not too far off, I see Max and Mike throwing a football between each other.

 

"Why aren’t you at The Photographer’s Table?" Lucy asks.

 

"They don’t pay you for it."

 

"Aw, that sucks." I shrug and throw my empty plate in the trash.

 

We walk up to James and have a quick conversation about how the day’s been. He says that a lot of people have voted for the best picture on display—the winner gets bragging rights and a spot in the school’s public gallery—and I convince him to let me and Lucy put a vote in. He doesn’t oppose and I write my name and put it in the ballot box. Gotta get my name out there somehow, and I want to have a fighting chance. As a small crowd approaches the table, Lucy and I wave goodbye and continue exploring. Then we spot Rick at the edge of the festivities. Rick, a senior undergraduate now, throws the best parties in the school. I’m not surprised when I see him passing out invitations to people who he deems “cool enough” to be there. Lucy scrambles toward him like a deer who just got their legs and Rick laughs.

 

"If it isn't my favorite gal, Lucy Lane."

 

"I’m guessing I’ll be there."

 

"Absolutely. You’ve got VIP." She flips her hair over her shoulder and puts a hand over her heart, feigning surprise,

 

"How unexpected," she says. Lucy drops the act and smiles as Rick hands her an invitation. Then, he looks to me.

 

"And, of course, the one who follows Lucy like a lost puppy, Maggie Sawyer.” I roll my eyes and stick my hand out for my invitation.

 

"Um, actually, no invitation for you," he said dropping his smile.

 

My eyes go wide and my mouth drops. "Wh—You can't be serious!"

 

"Yeah, Maggie’s cool,” Lucy argues, “What’s the deal?"

 

"Listen, I don’t mind you, Maggie, but it's not me that doesn’t want you there."

 

"Then who?"

 

Lucy and I say in unison. "Audrey." I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

 

"What? What could she possibly have against me?"

 

Rick quirks an eyebrow as I dig through my memory.

 

"Oh, right...” The bet.

 

"Yeah. I’m still sort of pissed you fucked my sister, but her choice, so whatever.” Rick says,

 

“Why don’t you take it up with her? And then we’ll talk." I groan, throwing my head back in agitation before stomping into the cafeteria, Lucy right beside me I scan the crowd, looking for Audrey in the sea of all the students who came for the event.

 

I find her at a table near the exit with a few other cheerleaders. I glance at Lucy nervously and she puts a supporting hand on my back. I go in alone. When I approach them, they stop talking and turn to me. They look at me in disdain as if just that would make me leave with a tail between my legs. I have my eyes set on Audrey, who looks right back at me with fire in her eyes. "What do you want?" As she says it, she and her friends stand and walk towards me, chins up. I keep my eyes on her.

 

"Can I borrow you a minute?" She seems to ponder something for a moment and looks to the two teammates who flank her side. With a small movement of the head, she shoos them away.

 

"What do you want?"

 

"Look, about last year," I start, but she doesn’t let me finish.

 

"Oh, is poor Maggie sad she can't go to the party?" Audrey says, adding a sigh,

 

"If you only knew how little I care.”

 

"Look, all I wanna do is play a little pool, drink some beer, and hang out with some friends. Have a good time, that’s all, you won’t even notice me there!” Audrey looks at me blankly,

 

"The party was where we met.”

 

"Well, yeah, but it wasn’t intentionally. Now I know to avoid you this time!" I argue, eyes widening when I realize how harsh that must sound.

 

"Yeah, you can have fun back at home," she says, turning around.

 

"Is there anything I can do? I need this." I ask desperately, and she stops in her tracks.

 

She looks over her shoulder to me. Something shifts in her and she saunters towards me.

 

"What are you willing to do to get in?" Audrey says, challenging, but she doesn’t have to put on a face for me to crumble at the question.

 

I cross my arms, flicking my eyes around the cafeteria before looking into her eyes.

 

"Anything, practically."

 

She tilts her head, looking down her nose at me, smug. "Okay, I have an idea."

 

"Shoot."

 

Audrey smirks. "You have to make out with Ginny by the end of the day."

 

"Ginny? The woman who’s always on her computer in class playing League Of Legends."

 

"Yeah, that’s the one."

 

"Are you kidding me? I barely even know her."

 

Ignoring my comment, Audrey keeps talking, "Listen, Maggie, I’m a good person. She’s not too hard on the eyes. Plus, she’s not a prude like that Danvers girl is."

 

I roll my eyes at that. "How would you even know that I did it?"

 

She steps closer to me, her eyes narrow, body looming over me.

 

"Everyone knew about you and me. You know how it goes,” Audrey says, smirking, “Rumors travel fast around here."

 

Audrey whips around, her hair following the motion, and walks back to her groupies. I stare after her, biting my lower lip nervously. When I turn around, Lucy is right there, one her phone and then looking at me.

 

"So, how did it go?"

 

"I don't know. How does making out with Ginny sound?"

 

"Sounds a lot more appealing than kissing Alex," Lucy laughs.

 

I roll my eyes at the jab and shove her away, which only makes her laugh even harder.

 

"Well, I have something to do."

 

"And by something you mean—?"

 

"Ginny, yep. See you later!" I make my way to an unfamiliar side of the school, one littered with computer labs.

 

I mean, Photography has its fair share of Photoshop and Lightroom work, but I know here is where the most powerful systems are. I’ve heard people not only edit 4K here but also sneakily download Blizzard games and play online. And somehow, the person who tends to the computer doesn’t notice. Or maybe they play themselves. As if they’d miss all that. I get a bit lost on the maze-like floor, especially since the rooms look so identical, but after about popping my head into two ongoing classes and five empty rooms, I find who I’m looking for. In room 307, I notice a recognizable bob of bright ginger hair. Their face is hidden by a bulky Nintendo DS, but I know exactly who it is. Good guess, I think, a proud smile on my face. I knock, trying to raise Ginny’s attention to me. I lean on the doorway confidently and lithely and it only takes a few more clicks of her fingers on the buttons of her DS before she looks up.

 

"Hey," she says, voice exhibiting surprise.

 

I saunter towards her, feigning a charming sheepishness.

 

"Hey, so, I’ve got a problem with my phone. You can be, I don’t know, a great samaritan if you helped me. Heard you got skills.”

 

"Oh, yeah! Sure! I can—I can do that,” Ginny stutters, and I already know I have this in the bag.

 

“Great.” "I don’t have the tools to fix it here, they’re in the library. I hid a bin there since I couldn’t grab a good locker, and it’s way closer to the dorms.”

 

"Sure, lead the way." She smiles a bit and stands, grabbing her school ID and putting her DS in the pocket of her cozy hoodie. She closes the door and jiggles the handle to make sure its locked before waving me over to her side.

 

"So, this place of yours, is it pretty quiet? Private?" She shrugs sort of dismissively.

 

"Yeah, I’d say so. I’m a lone wolf, so I it had to be. Didn’t want people to crowd me everywhere." I quirk an eyebrow at her tone.

 

She pushes the door to the library open and holds it a little longer for me to catch in and go through with her.

 

"I see.” Ginny points to a door at the far right of the library and we walk toward it. I open the door and hold it for her, closing it behind us once we’re inside. Ginny takes a seat at a table in the corner of the room and pulls a small bin of tools from beside it, s

 

he holds her hand out. "Pass me your phone?"

 

I nod, taking my phone from my pocket and handing to her. I smile internally at the set up I had planned just for her.

 

"Aw, I like your background. You like Pikachu?" Bingo.

 

"Who doesn't?"

 

"Good point,” I say, turning to her,

 

“Do you watch any other anime?"

 

“Is that even a question?”

 

“So that’s a yes?”

 

“Of course! You’ve gotta give me more than that.”

 

“Okay,” I say. I look up into the air, feigning a thoughtful face for a moment and looking at her playfully, “Favorite genre?”

 

"Definitely Shounen. But, I think I want to start reading more Yuri, since, you know. I’m interested."

 

"You should! I could give you some suggestions."

 

"I would love that."

 

"Yeah.” A moment of silence passes between us before Ginny speaks again.

 

“So, what’s the problem?" she asks, humming and clicking around the phone to figure it out herself,

 

“I don’t see any cracks on the screen. No flickers, stuttering…”

 

"If I’m telling you the truth, the phone thing was just an excuse to talk to you. I… I’m sorry if I’m wasting your time,” I say, deliberately pushing back the curtain of hair that fell over my face.

 

"Oh, no, you're fine. It’s fine. Totally." I smile sweetly at her and she passes my phone back.

 

I pocket it and I lean on the table, balancing myself with my arms. She puts her tools back under the desk and stands, pushing the chair in until it thunks against the table.

 

"So, you like Yuri, huh?" She smiles a bit bashfully.

 

"I’m a fan, yeah. I found that some stories are problematic, given that they’re oversexualized, but there are some really good—" I lean toward her, making her pause.

 

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

 

" I—N-no," she says, stuttering as my face gets within a hair’s breadth of hers. Her eyes watch my lips as I speak.

 

"Do you want to?" Ginny’s eyes lock with mine in surprise, her face flushed.

 

Delicate fingers fist in my shirt and I take that as a signal to go on. I bite my lips and smile slyly as I walk her back into the wall. She doesn’t resist.

 

...

 

A few minutes later, I stomp out of the library moodily. Lucy’s at the door, tapping away at her phone. When I stop next to her, she looks up and looks at me confusingly.

 

"Wow, that was fast. I don’t know if I should be jealous or impressed."

 

"You don’t have to be either. We got interrupted."

 

"Damn! By who?"

 

"Uh, the librarian."

 

"Huh, sounds like a Marthe move. Except, you know, not with Alex.”

 

After a moment...

 

"Did you at least get a hand in her pants?”

 

"No, not even close. I only kissed her neck, I didn’t even make it to her lips."

 

"So... what are you gonna do?" I look at Lucy meaningfully.

 

<< Lie, like I always do >>.

 

...

 

A while after, I find Audrey in the courtyard, grinning stupidly. She’s alone this time.

 

"Wow, I'm surprised," she says. I shrug, forcing the smirk on my lips,

 

“What can I say? I work fast,” I say. I hold my hand out and wiggle my fingers expectantly.

 

"So?" Audrey looks thoughtful for a moment, and she reaches in her pocket. She pulls the invitation out and dangles it in front of me, and as I go to grab it, she pulls it back towards her.

 

"If I lay eyes on you, you're out. Got it?"

 

"Got it. I’ll be invisible, practically a ghost." She shakes her head, shoving the invitation in my hands and turning on her heel.

 

* * *

 

 

When I hear the patter of light feet running towards me, I knew it could be only one person. I close my locker and turn to my sister, who’s clasping her hands under her chin.

 

"Will you come with me? Please, please, please?" Kara begs me.

 

"Kara, the last time I went, I couldn’t go two seconds without people intentionally slapping my plate out of my hands.

 

" Kara’s frowns sympathetically, probably remembering how many times I had to go to the bathroom to clean up only to go right back in a few minutes later. Suddenly, she brightens up, putting a hand on my shoulder.

 

"Alright, how about I get the food, and you grab a table in the caf? I’ll split my plate with you.” I nod and she quickly pecks my cheek, holding me at arm's length.

 

"You okay?"

 

"Yeah, perfect."

 

"Awesome! I’ll be back before you can count to a hundred,” Kara blurts, swiveling around on her heel and sprinting outside to ravage the food stands.

 

I make my way up the stairs and head to the cafeteria. When I get there, it’s practically empty, which I’m relieved to see. Since most of the students have gravitated outside to browse through the stands outside, I could exist in peace. I take a four-seat table near the staircase and wait for Kara to find me. After a good ten minutes, I get a bit impatient. I didn’t like to be alone on campus without Kara long. I unlock my cell and look at the time. Kara should be here by now— Right in the middle of my thought, I hear Kara’s quick footsteps as she scurries to me, hands full. I chuckle at the sight of the balancing act she’s putting on.

 

"Sorry, sorry! I lost track of time, I stopped to see some work at the Photography Stand." Kara puts the food on the table and sits on the booth side of the table, right next to me.

 

"Oh, yeah! I saw them setting up before class. Some of the pictured looked amazing, I don’t blame you.”

 

"Yeah! And that guy—James, I think his name was— seems pretty cool. He was nice,” she says, halving the food on her plate and pushing it towards my side with a fork.

 

"You got a lot. What do you think you’re feeding? A whale?" She scoffs.

 

"Lena gave me her plate, she got full."

 

"So, what you’re saying is, she knew you’d eat it. Since she knows you eat like a pig,” I say, cracking up at the face she makes and the comment that follows after it.

 

"Absolutely. And she hates me for it, I don’t gain weight.”

 

"With that metabolism, I conclude you're a real, live, alien," I laugh.

 

She rolls her eyes playfully and nudges my shoulder with hers. She passes me a packet of utensils and starts digging into her plate before I could take the spork out of the packet. I scoop a portion of mash into my mouth.

 

"Do you if I head back after we’re done eating? I wanted to check a few more things out.

 

” "Yeah, no big. I’ll just do some work while you’re gone.”

 

“Cool!” I smile at the enthusiasm in her voice, shaking my head lovingly.

 

Five minutes later, Kara drops her spoon onto her clean plate and leans back and pats her stomach, releasing a huge, delighted sigh. I cover my face, snorting unattractively.

 

“Jeez, Kara, you swallowed that food. Did you even chew?”

 

“Pfft, yes!”

 

“Sure.” She stretches, waiting for me to finish eating.

 

After I’m done, she throws an arm over my shoulder.

 

"See you on the bus? Or are you going to home soon?" she asks.

 

"Eh, depends. I have some homework to finish here that I can’t do in my room. I’m not sure if I’ll be on when you are, I might be pretty late. Don’t wait up for me, okay?”

 

"Alright, sis. Let me know if anything, have a good one."

 

"Thanks. You too." She stands and ruffles my hair a bit, grabbing her backpack off the floor and practically skipping towards the exit. I laugh as I straighten my hair out and tie it into a neat ponytail.

 

...

 

I a few things from my locker and make my way to a spot I frequent in the school. It’s a room that remains empty the majority of the school year. It’s definitely lived in, some objects move place to place, but a thick layer of dust occasionally collects on the tabletops and shelves. I don’t remember a time where I’ve ever run into anyone there. I don’t check the window as I normally do, rarely is anyone in here on Wednesdays. Moments later, I realize that was a mistake. I open the door and freeze at the threshold, eyes bugging out of my head as I gape at the scene in front of me. Maggie. She turns and something halts within her when our eyes meet.

 

"Oh! I-I'm sorry." I’m probably red with embarrassment as I speak.

 

I quickly step back and slam the door closed, resting on it with my back against the wall, in need of temporary support. What the hell!? I shake my head trying to get the image of Maggie and that girl she was with out of my head. I wanted to go back to the cafeteria, but I know Kara’s there with Winn and Lena and I don’t want to disrupt them. I turn around to go somewhere I could be alone instead. Home, locked in my room, seems like the best option.

 

"Alex!" I pretend not to hear her and continue to rush outside.

 

The beaming light of the sun burns my eyes. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder and I’m tugged around.

 

"Alex, are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost," Kara says.

 

I feel the blood in my body rushing through my chest, arms, and legs, making me shake. My heart races, and my the coolness of my face, I could tell I’m pale.

 

"Yeah, I’m fine."

 

“Are you really?” Kara asks.

 

I sigh, frustrated at her attentiveness. "I'm fine, I promise. I just—I got—I got scared by a spider."

 

Kara looks at me suspiciously. "You’re not afraid of spiders," she says.

 

“Well, this one was big, so…” I don’t know if Kara ends up believing me, but she goes with it.

 

"You should change your locker! There are still a few without locks left, you could always transfer your stuff.”

 

"I’ll think about it," I tell her, pursing my lips to hide how ashen they are. Kara puts a hand between my shoulder blades, swiping her thumb a few times over my spine.

 

"Are you going home?"

 

"Yeah. Yeah. You can stay with your friends, I’ll head up alone."

 

"Actually guys, you can’t go yet. I need to tell you something, hot gossip." I sigh in relief when she directs her attention to Lena at her voice. Winn is at her side, buzzing and giddy.

 

"So, apparently, two students were making-out in the library.”

 

"What? Ew! Who does that?”

 

"Well, the two girls who got it on, apparently.”

 

"Oh my god."

 

"It was Maggie, probably. I wouldn’t be surprised," Winn jests.

 

"Ugh, can’t she keep her sinful acts to herself?" Kara shouts.

 

My heart skips at her words. I back away from them and make my way to the door as quietly as I could.

 

“You’re leaving?” Lena asks.

 

Kara turns to me questioningly. I avoid her gaze.

 

"Home, yeah.”

 

“Well, then I’m going to.” Kara quickly embraces Lena and says a quick goodbye.

 

“‘Alright, bye. See you tomorrow, sweetie," Lena says.

 

I turn away from everyone and wait as Kara hugs the rest of her friends before they part. Then, we’re alone. Kara makes a few attempts at conversation, but they all die out almost instantly. We wait for the bus in silence. My eyes remain glued to the floor in front of me.

 

A sin.

 

…

 

Conversation doesn’t flourish as it normally does on the bus when Kara’s at my side.The ride was completely silent, an uncomfortable silent. I repeatedly check my phone, willing the ride to end faster. I check the news, weather, Facebook, and every other platform imaginable to pass the time. When I return home mom wasn't there. She was at work more later than usual and Kara offer herself to make the supper.

 

"Okay, I’ll be outside."

 

"Okay, I’ll call you when the food's ready!" I shake my head, pulling my hood over it and walk a little way to the swingset behind the house.

 

So lost in thought, I didn’t hear Kara running up to me. I feel something tug my hood back to my shoulders and hear a quick,

 

"Supper’s ready." I jump and whip my head around to look at her, which makes Kara startle.

 

"Oh, sorry. I didn't hear you." Kara sighs, sitting on the swing next to me.

 

"Alex. Can you talk to me, please? What’s going on? You’ve been acting funny." I take a breath and my hands begin to shake and I lose all feeling in my legs

 

. I rip off the band-aid and let the words spill from my lips.

 

"Why did you say it was a sin?"

 

"What? When did I say that? About what?"

 

"About Maggie.”

 

"Because it is, Alex." I stop breathing. "I mean, sleeping with practically every person that falls into your lap? It’s gotta be!"

 

I sigh in relief. "Oh! So you're talking… about that."

 

"Of course, what else would I be talking about?”

 

"N-nothing! I was just—yeah."

 

" Alex… What do you think I was talking about?"

 

"I… her being gay.”

 

Kara’s eyebrows shoot up at that. "Oh my god, no! I’m not—I like gay people!” she says, “Winn’s gay, he’s my best friend.” I pick at my nails, palms clammy.

 

"Yeah.”

 

"Was that why you were mad?"

 

"I wasn’t mad. I just... didn't understand why you would hate people who..." I didn’t have to finish my sentence for her to know what I was going to say.

 

“She can have as many girlfriends as she wants, I don’t care. All I ask is she not have sex in the library. It’s the library.” I grin, looking down as I use my heels to gently push the swing back and forth.

 

"Is everything okay?"

 

"Yeah, I’m fine. I’m good. Sorry for… freaking out, I guess."

 

"No, don’t apologize. It's okay,” Kara says warmly,

 

“You should have brought it up sooner, it would have saved you the anxiety."

 

"Yeah. Sorry," I say, and Kara rolls her eyes at the apology before looking at me earnestly.

 

"You can tell me anything, Alex. You know that, right? That I’ll always be here for you?"

 

"Of course, Kara."

 

"I'm serious, Alex,” Kara says, putting a comforting hand on my knee, “Is there anything else bothering you? Something you want to get off your chest?"

 

I hesitate, words on the tip of my tongue. I don’t say what I want to. I say what I know will ease her.

 

"No,” I say, smiling at her, “It was just that.”

 

She analyzes me, glancing between each of my eyes.

 

"Okay, I’m going to go back inside. Come in whenever you’re ready," she says, laying a kiss on the top of my head.

 

I hear Kara walk away and go inside the house. I plant my feet into the dirt, taking a moment to gather myself before I go in. I take a deep breath and releasing it into the air. I stand up, pushing off my knees with my hands and turn around to open the door and close it behind me. I enter the kitchen.

 

"How was your day, Alex?" Eliza asks, taking a bite of her salad.

 

"Good, what about you?" I say, sitting on a chair and pulling it toward the table.

 

"Good." The rest of dinner was spent in comfortable silence. I run upstairs as soon as I wash my plate, opening the door to my bedroom and belly flop onto my bed.

 

After a moment, I grab my backpack and take my homework out, spreading on top of the bed. After a while, a fluffy ball of fur plants itself right in the middle of my open exercise book.

 

"Out of all the places you can get comfortable on!"

 

My cat meows cutely at me as I take him in my arms and kiss his head. I decide to relax for the rest of the night and clear my bed. I untangle my headphones, mindful not to let the cat see them, and put them in my ears. I close my eyes, listening to the song playing in my ears.

 

 

* * *

 

**-The greatest - Sia -**

_Running out of breath but I got stamina Running_

_now I close my eye I got stamina I see another mountain to climb_

_(delete lyrics)_

_Don't give up I won't give up I'm free to be the greatest,_

_alive, here tonight_

_And oh yeah, running through the waves of love_

_I got stamina_

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, the party will be a bit further down the line. I won’t mention it much until it gets closer.
> 
> Also, gotta love gay panic attack Alex lol. Can’t wait for the evolution.


	9. The Usual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Destiny brought us together, and now, we’ll see what’s in it’s hand of cards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are finally start to get interesting now that they’re getting closer and supporting each other.

\- 4 September 2018 -

-Thursday-

 

Lucy and I stop right outside my classroom. As I turn to say goodbye, she pours a handful of Skittles into her mouth.

 

She gargles an unintelligible around them all.

 

"I completely understood that," I say sarcastically, “Most profound thing you’ve ever said.

 

Lucy swallows, “Have a good time," she says.

 

"Eh, it’s still math, but I’ll try."

 

I go to open the door, but I turn around when I hear Lucy begin to talk again.

 

"I’m guessing you’re seeing Alex after class too?"

 

"Yeah"

 

"Okay.”

 

Lucy looks down for a second.

 

She looks up, then offers the large bag of Skittles to me.

 

“Want some candy?"

 

"I was waiting for you to offer me some!" I say, shoving my hand in the bag. Lucy laughs at my enthusiasm.

 

I pop some into my mouth.

 

"I may or may not stop at  _Costco_  and buy a bigger pack," she says, raising her eyebrows, “Come to the cafeteria later and I might have a chocolate surprise for you.”

 

"You’re the best."

 

“I know.”

 

She laughs, waves goodbye, and I walk into the classroom.

 

I see Alex at her usual seat in the front, texting on her phone. I slide into the seat next to her and wait to see if she notices me.

 

After a full minute, she taps on her phone a few more times and raises her head. Then, she turns to me, eyes alert.

 

“Hey.”

 

"Hey."

 

I grab a small pile of papers from my bag and plop it into her desk.

 

"Thanks for those."

 

“You’re welcome, “ she says. She picks them up and jogs the paper by tapping them onto the desk then turns to me, “Sorry I missed your texts.”

 

I shake my head, trying to brush it off, “It’s… it’s fine. Don’t worry about it."

 

Alex nods, smiling a bit awkwardly. She gestures to the work on my desk.

 

"Were you able to finish?" she asks.

 

"Sort of. I tried what I could, but… I know they’re wrong.”

 

She takes a pencil out of her case and reaches for the sheet in my hand.

 

“Can I?”

 

I nod, pushing my homework to her. She and lifts the page closer to her face, scanning it. She makes a mark beside a few of the problems and places the worksheet on the desk.

 

"Two’s good. Three… four...five and the rest were close," Alex says, turning to me, “You almost had them.”

 

I shrug dejectedly, “Yeah, well,” I look to my shoes and back to her eyes, “It’s too late anyway.”

 

I pick up my work from the desk and when I look back to her, I could see her mind whirring.

 

Finally, "Don't give it to him," she says.

 

The demanding confidence in her voice startles me.

 

"What?"

 

"Don't give him your homework"

 

"What? No! Are you crazy? That’s ten percent of my grade!"

 

"We’ll work on it after the class and you’ll get a better grade.”

 

“I’m not risking it, I’d rather get something than nothing.”

 

“Maggie, just  _trust_  me.”

 

I stop, taking a moment to look into her eyes. I glance down at my paper nervously then back to her.

 

"Are you sure about this?"

 

"Yes.  _Don’t_  pass it in."

 

I take a deep breath and let it out, whispering a quiet  _Okay_  and head to my desk.

 

I slide the worksheet into my bag, and as I’m zipping it closed, Professor J'onzz walks in.

 

The door closes with a loud but unintentional thud and he greets the glass as a whole, dropping his things at his desk.

 

With quick direction, he tells the class to pull out their homework for him to collect. As he goes around, he checks the name of each student on his attendance sheet.

 

When he gets to my desk, he simply puts a checkmark next to name on the attendance and doesn’t spare me a second glance as he moves on to the next person.

 

After collecting everyone’s papers, he sets them on the edge of his desk and begins his lecture. After our break, she passes around a short exercise—which I attempted but didn’t get far on, despite having my notes with me.

 

When then the class ends, I sigh in relief. I hear a small chuckle sound from beside me and I look to Alex, finding mirth in her eyes.

 

"I just have to stop at Lucy’s locker real quick, then I’ll head over."

 

"Sure, no problem.”

 

I walk towards the door, stopping for a moment to see Alex approaching the teacher and I shake my head, feet taking long strides out of there.

 

—

I wait until all the students leave to talk to Professor J’onzz.

 

"What can I do for you, Alex?"

 

"Can you give Maggie full credit for her assignment?"

 

He pauses for a moment, seeming startled at the question.

 

"You know I don’t tolerate late work, Alex.”

 

"I’m tutoring her, and she’s been working really hard to step it up. But we haven't had much time together yet, and I’m not able to help her all the time, but she’s trying. Give her this. Give her a chance. Knock off points on mine if you have to.”

 

J’onn shakes his head at my last thought.

 

"That, I will not do. But I can consider your other points,” he says, clicking his pen and placing it precisely on his desk, parallel to the stack of assignments to the right of it.

 

I nod tensely, clutching the straps of my backpack. Professor J’onnz looks up from his pen and into my eyes.

 

“I’m not one to tolerate tardiness,” he says, “Make sure she passes her work on time."

 

"I will."

 

Alex heads over to the door but stops when she hears J’onn asking her to wait.

 

"By the way—”

 

I look over my shoulder to Professor J’onzz.

 

"Yeah?"

 

He stands and shuffles a few inches toward me, folding his arms behind his back.

 

"It was extremely kind of you to tutor her despite your reluctance. You’re a good person, Alex."

 

I smile, tilting my head slightly.

 

"I do my best."

 

A few more seconds pass, a warm air between us, and I head out the door.

 

—

 

I speed into the cafeteria, feeling as if there was not one minute to waste.

 

I see Mike first.

 

"Hey, Sawyer! How’s it going with Danvers?"

 

"She’s not keen on answering my texts, but we see each other more often, I guess. Talk.”

 

"Wow. Progress, finally."

 

"If you call trying to date a woman with a cat named Einstein progress," Lucy quips.

 

"Yes. That poor cat," Mike says.

 

I sigh, gesturing to the doors behind me.

 

"Are we going?"

 

Lucy nods, throwing back the last of her soda and tossing it into a bin near her. She stands up and starts walking to me.

 

"Follow me."

 

"I should have come here and picked myself."

 

"Oh, honey, you don’t want to go in there. There are things in here you would  _not_ want to see. You’re  _much_  too young.”

 

"... Too young?"

 

She wedges her chin between her thumb and index finger, acting as if in deep thought.

 

"Okay, too gay."

 

I laugh, rolling my eyes as she opens her locker.

 

"So, what do you want? Pick your poison."

 

"You know what I want," I say, squinting at her. She laughs and digs through the bag, taking a few candy bars out. She cups a hand over her mouth and presents a few candy bars in the air.

 

"Alright! And the four Hershey bars go to the gay woman in the back!” she says, and I’m unable to wipe off the stupid grin that breaks out on my face as she says it. She leans closer to me, “Don't eat them all in one day, it's not good for your health.”

 

I take the Hershey bars from her hand, rolling my eyes good-naturedly.

 

"Okay, mom. Is that all?"

 

"Just one more thing. Try to get further than knee-touching this time.”

 

"I’ll try my best."

 

She shuts her locker and shoots me a quick goodbye, leaving me to my devices. I put the Hershey bars in a pocket inside my bag and scurry to the library as quickly as I can. When I arrive, I see Alex standing by the door on her phone.

 

"Hey, I'm here," I call to her, and she turns around. She waves me over to her.

 

"Okay, follow me."

 

She peeks through a couple of rooms until she finally finds an empty one, similar to the one where she walked into me and that girl.

 

I grimace at the thought, remembering my mortification.

 

I peek at her from the corner of my eye.

 

_Does she remember?_

 

We enter the small study-room, where a few tables are placed around and chairs situated around them, save for a few outliers. Alex drags a chair to a small desk at the side of the room. Then another beside it, which she sits in. She hangs her sweater and bag off the back of it, and motions to the seat beside her.

 

"Sit. We don't have much time together.”

 

…

 

I groan in exhaustion, slumping in my chair so low that I have to look up to meet Alex’s eyes.  _How’s the weather up there?_ I could have said.

 

"Can we please take a break for, like, 5 minutes? My brain is about to explode."

 

"Yeah, of course. We’re halfway through, so."

 

"Good."

 

I zip open my backpack and grab two Hershey bars from it.

 

I offer one to Alex.

 

_Because, as they say, the surest way to a woman’s heart is her stomach._

 

_And, okay, I wanted to be nice._

 

"Want some?”

 

She stares at the bar blankly for a moment before looking to me.

 

“For real?"

 

"Yeah,” I say, pressing the candy into her palm and then unwrapping mine. I break a piece and pop it into my mouth, continuing, “Lucy gave me four of them, and by giving you one, I have less of a chance of becoming prediabetic."

 

She chuckles lightly, breaking off a small piece of chocolate and placing in her mouth before folding the wrapper’s corner and putting it in her bag—

 

_Is that—?_

 

A  _Science Magazine_ issue.

 

"What’s that?" I ask, knowing  _full well_  what it is.

 

“Huh? Oh!” she blinks, glancing in her bag, she shrugs, “Just a magazine that I like to read. It’s... you wouldn’t be interested."

 

I reach for the magazine, causing her to look at me curiously, but don’t touch it.

 

"Would you mind if…?”

 

With a look of evident surprise, she passes the magazine to me.

 

I scan the cover and flip through the pages eagerly.

 

It was the latest issue.

 

I haven’t been able to get my hands on the newer ones. I had to cancel my subscription to save money, so I was only able to catch up when the library had them in stock.

 

And they didn’t often.

 

Oblivious to my interest, she plucks it from my hands back listlessly

 

"Like I said, boring."

 

She didn't know how wrong she was.

 

"I’m guessing you have a collection of these?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve been subscribed for a long time, and I never throw them away, s,” she shrugs and I lean closer to read over her shoulder, “This one I have three of, so I gave one copy to the library. I don’t know where else to donate, just don’t want it t end up in the recycling bin."

 

"Well… there’s a library near my house. I can stop by and drop it off there.”

 

"You wouldn’t mind?”

 

"Not at all,” I shrug, “Plus! I get either benefits or discounts for donating. It’s a win-win.”

 

Alex looks at me curiously.

 

“You go to the library?”

 

...

 

"Yeah. You implying I’m not the type?”

 

"No! No, that's not what—It was just a question."

 

"Ah, okay. I just… it sounded like you were in shock or something.”

 

"No, no, not at all. Who am I to judge, anyway?”

 

She passes me the magazine and I put it in my bag.

 

"So. Ready?"

 

"No?"

 

She laughs at that.

 

"Alright.  _Now_  I’m ready. Let’s finish this."

 

And we did.

 

Half an hour later, Alex checking over my work one last time.

 

"And... all done! Work and answers are good!"

 

"Seriously?"

 

I flip the page over almost disbelieving.

 

"Yeah!

 

"Oh, thank God. I thought it would never end,” I say, slumping back into my chair dramatically.

 

Alex puts a hand on my shoulder and leans in close, a lopsided grin on her face.

 

“Maggie, there’s still one more worksheet left.”

 

I stop. And turn to look at her slowly.

 

"Way to be, getting my hopes up like that. Nice."

 

She laughs and drops her hand off my shoulder, leaning back in her chair comfortably. The laughter dies down after a minute.

 

"Thank you, Alex," I say sincerely.

 

"You don't have to thank me every time.”

 

"I do. You take time from your day to see me, you do this for free."

 

Alex brushes it off, shrugging.

 

"Well, you did give me a Hershey bar."

 

"Yeah, but that was nothing."

 

"It isn't if it’s from your heart."

 

I laugh gently and she smiles softly.

 

After a moment, she stands and pulls her backpack up on the chair.

 

“I have to go, but I’ll see you around?”

 

I nod. She packs her things, pulls her backpack straps over her shoulders, and walks to the door.

 

Alex looks at me over her shoulder one more time.

 

“Don’t forget about the magazine."

 

"I won’t.”

 

Nodding, she gives me a tight-lipped smile, pushes the door open, and leaves.

 

When it creaks shut, I open the magazine.

 

—

 

After reading a full 15 pages, I get up from my seat and pack up. I leave the room, exit the library, and pull out my phone to text Lucy to let her know I’m out.

 

We plan to meet at my locker. I get there first, and when she sees me, she jogs toward me.

 

"Hey, beautiful."

 

"Hey!” she says, she holds her MODE magazine under her chin, “I’m finished with this. Want it next?"

 

“Yeah, sure."

 

We start walking, and I hang my bag in front of me, unzipping it and taking the magazine from Lucy’s hands.

 

"What is  _this?_ "

 

I look at Lucy in confusion.

 

"What do you—?"

 

She suddenly snags something from my bag.

 

The new  _Science Magazine_  issue.

 

My heart stops and my breathing stutters.

 

"You’re going pretty far to get Alex, aren’t you?" Lucy says, fanning a few pages and then chucking the magazine back where it was. She leans on the row of lockers and stares at me coolly.

 

I gawp at her, not knowing what to say and stutter through going along with her.

 

"Y—yeah!! I mean, she’s—uh—I have to do whatever it takes. Go big or go home, right?"

 

"Oh, Maggie,” she teases, “You can't hide anything from me.”

 

I scoff, “What are you even talking about? W-who cares about that crap anyway?”

 

_Me._

 

"Yeah, well, don’t get too carried away. You might find yourself eating lunch in the bathroom."

 

I shrug.

 

I avoid her gaze for the rest of the day.

 

I don’t even spare her a glance as I shut James’ car door and head into my apartment.

 

—

 

I shut and lock the door behind me.

 

“Rosa, I'm home!"

 

“Hey, sweetie! Food’s gonna be ready in an hour!"

 

"’Kay! I’m going to my room!"

 

I speed into my bedroom and end up sliding on the floor with my knees before I could unzip my bag in front of me. I toss the magazine Lucy gave me under my bed, where there’s a pile of then—and place Alex’s  _Science Magazine_ on top of the comforter.

 

"Maggie, did you wa—Oh, where’d you get that?"

 

I startle, hand flying to my chest. I turn at my aunt’s voice.

 

"Sorry, I didn't want to scare you,” Rosa says, setting a hand on my shoulder. I stand, and she points her chin to the magazine, “Did the library finally update their collection?”

 

"Oh, no. I, um, a new friend of mine gave it to me.”

 

“Oh? Who?”

 

"You don't know them."

 

“They got a name?"

 

I sigh.

 

"Alex."

 

"A guy?”

 

"No, girl. Her real name’s Alexandra, but... she likes Alex better.”

 

She nods, humming as I put the magazine in my collection.

 

“Okay… Well, I came to ask if you wanted me to make some tuna salad to put on the side for dinner.”

 

“Oh! Yeah, yeah. I’d like that.

 

“Okay.”

 

She goes to leave.

 

“Wait,” she says turning to me, “Lucy’s Alex? The ‘nerdy’ Alex who doesn't have any friends other than her sister?”

 

“...Um, yeah. She likes Science stuff too."

 

Rosa hums.

 

“I think you two would make great friends.”

 

I shake my head at her, looking down at my hands.

 

"She just helps me with my math work, really. There’s not much more between us,” I say. I frown, tapping my fingers on my jeans. I look up. “She's more like… a school acquaintance, I guess."

 

Rose tilts her head at that.

 

"Well… okay. That’s nice,” She walks to the doorway and rests a hand on the frame, looking back to me over her shoulder, smiling, ”I’ll leave you to it."

 

With the magazine in hand, I leap to the middle of my bed, landing on my stomach. I pull myself up with my elbows and open Alex’s magazine and open it close in front of me.

 

Cheetos pattern to the side of my bed and I stretch my arm out over the mattress to pet him sweetly.

 

Suddenly, he jumps up onto the comforter and sprawls himself over the centerfold of the magazine, ears flopping onto both pages and large eyes looking up at me adoringly.

 

I sigh in irritation.

 

"Are you comfortable?”

 

He rolls onto his back, tail wagging and begging for attention.

 

I scratch the sides of his face and go down to rub his belly.

 

He woofs happily, and I smile.

 

"You won’t make a scene all for a magazine, would you, Cheetos?”

 

 

He rolls his head to the side and licks my arm, burying his head in the crook of it after.

 

"I know, buddy, I know…"

 

—

 

_Light, Sleeping at Last_

 

_May these words be the first to find your ears_

_The world is brighter than the sun now that you're here_

_Thought your eye will need the time to adjust to_

_The overwhelming light around us_

_I'll give you everything I have_

_I'll teach you everything I know_

_I promise I'll do better_

_I will always hold you close, but I will learn to let you go_

_I will soften every edge, I'll hold the world to its best_

_With every heartbeat I have left, I will defend you every breath_

_`cause you are loved. You are loved more than you know._

_I hereby pledge all of my days to prove it so_

_Though your heart is far too young to realize_

_the unimaginable light you hold inside_

 

_—_

 

-Friday-

 

I’m five minutes early for class today. Unusual and not likely, but here I am. Five minutes early. Doodling in my agenda to pass the time until Marthe starts the class up.

 

Completely enthralled by the loops and colors flowing through the page, I don’t hear when Marthe comes in.

 

Suddenly—

 

**Bang.**

 

I jump in my seat and look up to see her with a small bowl, filled to the brim with folded paper, in her hands.

 

She looks to speak to the entire class.

 

“I’ve been easy on you this semester. Now, it's time for your worst nightmare.”

 

I scoff quietly into my hand, rolling my eyes because—

 

_What it could be? Painting another color wheel? That’d be a nightmare, alright._

 

Then, “Teamwork,” she says.

 

Suddenly, I was way more down for the color wheel. Cadmium yellow, pyrrole red, ultramarine blue... the whole shebang.

 

And now I’m just annoyed at her attempt at humor.

 

I close my eyes and let out a loud sigh, making some other students chuckle around me.

 

But this was no laughing matter.

 

Marthe began to call out pairs of names, teaming them up together.

 

Then—

 

 

“Maggie Sawyer,” she calls, and I look up to her.

 

We make eye contact.

 

Without looking away, she grabs the next piece of paper and unfolds it.

 

She looks down, and I could see her breath hitch from across the room.

 

“Alex Danvers,” she says.

 

I turn my head to meet Alex’s gaze, smiling as she does the same.

 

_Maybe this won’t be so bad after all._

 

Marthe asks the students to sit next to their assigned partner, and it takes a few minutes of shuffling around for everyone to settle in.

 

Marthe grabs a stack of paper and brings it to the student at the corner of the class to pass out. When the girl gets to us, Alex thanks her with a small smile.

 

We find it lists a few rules and questions for the project we’re starting.

 

As the room begins to bustle with conversation, Marthe approaches our table, eyes on Alex.

 

“Would you rather be alone, Alex? I know you’re not a fan of teamwork, so I can make an exception. I can assign Maggie a different partner,” Marthe says.

 

“No, it’s fine. I want to work with Maggie.”

 

Alex glances to me, smiling.

 

When I look up to Marth, she’s looking at us skeptically.

 

“Are you sure?” she asks, glancing between the two of us. She leans closer and whispers as if I couldn’t hear her from where she’s sitting, “She’s not quite the type to put in—”

 

“Yeah, Maggie’s good worker. I’m sure,” she says, interrupting her.

 

“I’m sure I could pair you off with someone you’d prefer more.”

 

I can’t stop the offended expression that grows on my face at that.

 

“Like who?” Alex asks.

 

_Yeah, like who?_

 

“Like, uh Marc!”

 

“Marc,” she says, staring blankly, “The guy who withdrew from class a week into the semester?”

 

Marthe stands there, gawking for a few moments before backing down.

 

“Right. Okay,” she concedes, “If you change your mind, let me know. Okay?”

 

“I’ll be fine.”

 

Marthe stalks back to her desk, and I watch her for a few more seconds before looking at Alex, who meets my eyes when I turn to her.

 

“Looks like we’re not going to be apart from each other for too long after all,” I note.

 

I feel Marthe’s eyes burn the back of my head.

 

“Yeah, that’s too bad,” Alex counters.

 

“Hey! I never said it was  _bad_.”

 

Smiling, she lifts up the sheet of paper that was handed to us earlier.

 

“To summarize, we have to do a hand mold and base it on an animal. Which we then would gather in a collection as a class.”

 

“That sounds easy,” I say, looking at Alex, who nods in agreement.

 

“So, you want to model or do you want me to do it?” she asks, “I don’t mind either way.”

 

“Yeah, well, I‘m good with my fin—hand—Uh...I…” I pause, shaking my head to clear it. “Choose a hand,” I say, “I’ll get the stuff.”

 

Her laugh rings behind me as I get up to get out supplies. I wait behind a few other students getting their plaster strips, Vaseline, and bowls of water.

 

By the time I get back to our table, two minutes have passed.

 

“Okay, which hand?“ I ask, making a grabbing motion with my hands.

 

“Do my left. If get stuck, I’d rather it not be my dominant hand.”

 

“Hey! I’m super professional, I know what I’m doing here.”

 

Suddenly, Marthe is hovering over us.

 

“Do you two need any assistance?” Marthe asks, face stern.

 

“No, I’m good. I’ve done this before.“

 

“You could use a refresher, don’t you think so?”

 

I roll my eyes.

 

“Yeah, no, we’re good. Thanks,” I say, waving her off.

 

I dip the plaster strip in the water and taking Alex’s hand in mine.

 

“Ready?”

 

“Ready.”

 

I lay the first plaster strip in the middle of her palm and smooth it out with my fingers. She shivers.

 

“Ooh, that’s  _cold_! I’m starting to regret this already. Is it too late to switch?” 

 

“Much too late,” I tease.

 

“Fine,  _fiiiiiine_.”

 

I laugh as I take another strip and press it over the other.

 

“So, any plans for the weekend?”

 

I look up at her from under my eyelashes mischievously.

 

“Why? Did you want to see me?”

 

She sputters.

 

“No! Well, yeah! I mean, I just—I wanted to know. Making conversation. No reason.”

 

I laugh and try to suppress the smile threatening to break out on my face.

 

“Um, nothing important. Homework, studying, watching some TV shows,” I lay another strip on her hand and look up as I smooth it out, “What about you?”

 

“Pretty much the same,” she laughs.

 

“Yeah, our lives are boring.”

 

“Yeah. To mix it up, Lucy’s coming over to my place tonight. She’s good company.”

 

“That’s nice.”

 

“Yeah, we’re planning for sushi.”

 

“ _Ewww_!”

 

“What do you mean ‘ _ewww_ ’?”

 

“I  _hate_  sushi.”

 

“Oh my god, you do not!”

 

“I  _do_. You better not be like Kara and shove it down my throat. No matter what, that sushi’s ending up in the trash.”

 

I shake my head slowly.

 

“I never thought Sushi would make or break our blossoming friendship. But, unfortunately, it has.” I say.

 

She laughs, slightly adjusting my hand to direct me to where to put the next plaster strip.

 

“Have you decided what animal you two are going to imitate?” Marthe asks us.

 

Me.

 

“We haven’t talked about it yet,” I say to her.

 

“Well, get to it then. No slacking off.”

 

With that, she takes a brisk turn and goes to another pair of students a couple tables over from us.

 

I shake my head in frustration, looking as she speaks to the other partners.

 

For a moment, I say nothing, and simply lay two plaster strips on the back of Alex’s hand.

 

“She really doesn’t like me, does she?” I ask.

 

Empathetically, Alex shakes her head, eyes on Marthe as she goes to another table. She turns to me.

 

“What did you do?”

 

I purse my lips in thought.

 

“I used to miss class a lot. And I wasn’t the most polite student.”

 

“What changed?”

 

I look up from her hand straight into her eyes.

 

“You.”

 

She stiffens, and I worry I’ve crossed some line.

 

But then, slowly, I see her trying to hide the smile spreading her lips. She looks down and I see her face start to flush.

 

I look away from her, take one last strip of plaster, dip it into the bowl of water, and wrap it around her index finger.

 

“Done,” I whisper.

 

She looks up and our eyes lock.

 

“So, what do if I want to eat?”

 

“I can feed you.”

 

“I can feed myself,” she says seriously, “I still have use of my right hand.”

 

“O _kay_ …”

 

I look as she grabs her water bottle and pauses in thought. I bite back a laugh as she attempts to open it with her teeth. Then, she tries with her elbow, and I can’t help the laughter that bellows through my chest and out my lips when she looks up at me, pouty and disgruntled.

 

“Okay, maybe I do need some help here,” she says. I hold out my hand and she passes me the water bottle.

 

I grab it and open it easily, grin on my face.

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Her hand goes for the cap, and as she goes to lift it from the table, her fingers fumble it. We both watch it fall to the floor, bounce, and fall flat on the tile.

 

When I look up, an amused grin on my face, her eyes are closed. She takes a deep breath and lets it out.

 

I couldn’t hold it.

 

I burst into another bout of giggles, and she opens her eyes, glaring at me for a second and then bending down to snatch the cap from the floor.

 

Wordlessly, she seals the bottle with a few quick twists.

 

“You saw nothing.”

 

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” I say, tongue in cheek.

 

I lean my elbows on the desk and cradle my head with my hands, looking for something to entertain myself with while the plaster dries.

 

“What animal we should do?” Alex asks.

 

Almost immediately...

 

“A unicorn.”

 

I grin as I write it down.

 

“Okay. Next question,” I drag my finger down the page to the next number, “Why?” I look to Alex expectantly, but her answer is not as profound as I expect.

 

Shrugging with a taunting smile on her face, she replies, “Why not?”

 

I shake my head. I lean toward her, pointing the end of my pencil to her face.

 

“I have a better answer.”

 

“I’m listening.”

 

A dramatic pause.

 

“Because it’s gay.”

 

Alex’s eyebrows raise and she glances wide-eyed at her hand then back to me. Silent.

 

“‘Because it’s gay’ is not an appropriate answer, you two,” Marthe snarks, hearing us.

 

I smirk cheekily, miming an erasing motion, then a writing motion.

 

“...Because unicorns are... my spirit animal,” I say.

 

I see Alex muffle a laugh with her hand, and my grin widens,

 

I ignore Marthe’s look of disdain.

 

We write down a real answer before pulling the supplies towards me.

 

“It’s ready.”

 

“Okay, ready?”

 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

I cradle the sides of her hand with mine and cautiously slide it off as tenderly as I can.

 

When her fingers and thumb were released, Alex slipped her hand out the rest of the way.

 

I carefully place it in the middle of our table, and when I look back at her, she’s shaking her hand. Cracking her knuckles and flexing her fingers to loosen the stiffness in them.

 

“Nice. You okay with doing the rest next class?”

 

“Yeah, we can go over the details in between this class and the next. That way, we’ll know what we’re doing.”

 

“Cool, I’ll set it on the project table,” she says, taking the model away.

 

I start to pack up my things and she does the same.

 

“I have to go, Lucy’s probably waiting for me.“

 

Alex shakes her head.

 

“Don’t worry,” she says, “You don’t even have to explain, see you soon.”

 

“See you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it’s nice to seem them finally start to work together, interact, and get a little bit … closer ;).


	10. One step at time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though I try to convince myself otherwise, but you mean more to me that I want to admit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's finally time to get more Maggie and Alex moments. As we all know, they've gotta become friends before they move further. This slow-burn is killing me, not gonna lie …

-  5 September 2018 -

 

 - Wednesday -

 

I notice Lucy’s grinning like a maniac before she gets in the car. When she does, I turn around curiously to ask her what’s up, but she starts talking to James.

 

“So, James, when’s your break again?” Lucy asks.

 

“Break’s around, 11, why?”

 

“I need to stop at the store to… buy… some things.”

 

James looks at Lucy suspiciously, then something clicks in his head.

 

“I'm not bringing you to buy condoms.”

 

Lucy  _pffts_.

 

“I'm buying  _sushi._  What kind of person do you think I am?”

 

With one look from James, she relents. Hands up in surrender.

 

“I know the perv you are, Lucy.”

 

I swat at James and laugh. When my smile dies down, Lucy taps my shoulder. I turn to her.

 

“When are you out, Mags?”

 

“A little later. I told you, I have Art class.”

 

“You can always not go.”

 

“Look, if I miss class, Alex isn’t going to give up on me. She’s established that.”

 

“Oh come  _on_.”

 

“Rules are Rules, Luce.”

 

She rolls her eyes and flops back on her seat. The rest of the ride was spent in a comfortable silence, radio playing lowly.

 

We get to school and I head to my photography class, which went by pretty quickly. Or, it felt like it, at least.

 

When class is dismissed, Lucy doesn’t meet me in the hall, having gone out with James to the store. Despite my confidence in other areas of my life, I don’t like to sit alone in the cafeteria. It makes me feel anxious. Without my friends there, it looks daunting.

 

At the sight of all the students in the cafeteria, I feel myself freeze before I can even get a foot in the door.

 

I decide to turn around, trying to think of somewhere else I could spend lunch. I think of eating in a bathroom at the corner of the school. Then I think of not eating at all.

 

Then, I think of the perfect place.

 

I walk a good ten minutes to the other side of campus. I end up in a small hallway with a door to my right. I enter in it and climb a few flights of stairs until I get to an open area with a large window. I sit down and grab my lunch from my bag.

 

I find a post-it from Rosa stuck to the front of it.

 

_I know that one ham and cheese sandwich_

_isn't the best lunch,_

_but we don’t have much at the house right now._

_Have a good day!_

 

I take a bite and then take a sip of the bottle of orange juice that I’d bought at a vending machine earlier in the day and put it the side pocket of my bag.

 

I take out my camera from my camera bag and start taking a couple of test shots.

 

I hear footsteps and I stop moving.

 

They get closer. And closer. And closer.

 

I hold my breath., and suddenly I see a hand on the rail and then a flash of red.

 

Maggie Sawyer. Cause of death, heart attack.

 

Alex doesn’t notice me at first, so when she turns her head in my direction, she jumps in surprise.

 

"Oh! Hi. Sorry. I didn't know you were here, I’ll just—"

 

"You can stay, Danvers, it's fine."

 

"It's… it’s okay,” she says, shaking her head, “I know few other places that—"

 

I interrupt her, "It would nice if you stayed.I’m feeling lonely today."

 

I pat the spot next to me and I see her hesitate for a moment before taking a step towards me.

 

"Okay…"

 

She walks to me at an even pace, as if she’s restraining herself from rushing, and eases herself to the ground next to me. She takes her bag off her shoulder and puts it at her side.

 

“Why aren’t you with your friends?" Alex asks.

 

"You’re my friend."

 

I take a bite of my sandwich, and Alex shakes her head. Whether amusement or disbelief, I don’t know.

 

"Lucy and James are getting something at the store," I explain to her.

 

She nods and takes out a Tupperware case, filled with tortellini. She sticks a fork into it and brings it right to her mouth.

 

"You’re gonna eat that  _cold_?"

 

"What? Oh, no. I stopped at the teacher’s lounge to use their microwave."

 

"They let you go in there?"

 

"Yeah. Marthe asked the staff. Now, my ID opens the door."

 

"Lucky! If you had to use the one in the caf, it would take you hours."

 

She nods politely and takes a bottle out of her bag, sipping it.

 

"How do you know this place?" Alex asks.

 

"James. He told me it was a safe spot."

 

"It is."

 

I nod, and as I finish my sandwich, I stand to throw the Ziploc bag in the bin. I walk back and sit down where I was before.

 

I grab my camera again and adjust some of the settings.

 

"Do you mind if I—?"

 

Alex reaches out a hand to my camera.

 

"Uh, yeah,” I say, holding out the camera for her to take, “Just be careful."

 

Alex handles the camera gently as she takes it. She shoots me an amused look at my worry.

 

"I'm a Science major. We  _always_  have dangerous things in our hands. I think I can handle this."

 

I laugh and watch her as she turns the camera in her hand curiously. Alex lightly taps at a button and looks to me.

 

"What’s this?"

 

"That’s to pop the flash,” I say, and Alex drags her finger to another button. “The next one—that one—is to take the picture.”

 

Alex places the viewfinder in front of her eye and looks through it for a few seconds before bringing it down with a frown on her face.

 

"I think I broke it?"

 

"Why do you say that?"

 

“I can’t see anything.”

 

I hum, taking the camera for a moment to see what was up. I find the problem almost immediately.

 

I take the cap off of the lens and hold it up for Alex to see, a small smile on my face.

 

“You just didn't take the cover off.”

 

I see color rise to Alex’s cheeks and she looks to the ground bashfully, embarrassed at the simplicity of the issue.

 

I quickly adjust the ISO and shutter speed and I see Alex smiling as I do so.

 

I hand her the camera.

 

“There. It's not broken anymore.”

 

She takes the camera in her hand again and lifts it up again.

 

“Wow. Cool.”

 

“I know, right?”

 

“Can I take a picture?”

 

“You can take 50 if you want.”

 

Alex laughs lightly.

 

“No, just one or two.”

 

I smile, examining her as she shuts an eye and scrunches her face in concentration, looking through the viewfinder.

 

She snaps a couple of pictures and looks down to the display to see them. She grimaces, wrinkling her nose.

 

“These don’t…”

 

"It’s the aperture,” I say, “Try pointing it to something close.”

 

She looks around and ultimately decides to shoot a flower that somehow found a way to flourish from a crack in the concrete.

 

She takes two photos and leans back to see them on the display. I take a step towards her to sneak a peek. I feel her warmth where our arms touch. She doesn’t shy away from the contact.

 

“Well,” she says, “At least I can say it’s better than Kara could do.”

 

I chuckle and she smiles at me.

 

“Thank you. For letting me try.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

I lead us back to our bags and lean on the wall, arms crossed.

 

“I want to see you in action,” she says.

 

“Alright! Hand it over,”

 

Alex hands the camera to me and I adjust a few of the settings before looking around thoughtfully. I end up pointing the lens to her. She covers her face with her hands in milliseconds.

 

“Hey! No!”

 

I giggle as I take a couple of shots and click the button to scroll through them on the display.

 

Curious, Alex leans in to see the pictures of herself.

 

“Wow, these are...” she trails off, then speaks with a teasing tone in her voice, “You’re  _much_  better at this than mathematics.”

 

I gently shove her away with my hand and she bounces back against me with a smile.

 

"We’re all bad at something."

 

I hear a buzz and pull out my phone to check if it was me, but I have no notifications. When I look up, Alex seems to be texting something.

 

"Oh, I have to go."

 

“Okay. Thank you for hanging around.”

 

“It’s not like I had a choice, with you looking like a sad puppy like you did," she teases.

 

I laugh, playfully rolling my eyes.

 

“What do you  _mean_?”

 

“You looked like I told my sister that I hated musicals.”

 

"I don't know if I should be offended or laughing.”

 

She gathers her stuff in her hands and looks to me, smiling.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Anytime.”

 

She waves, and I watch her as she opens the door leading to the floor below us.

 

The small smile I have on my face didn’t leave for a long while after she’s left.

 

I spend about another ten minutes lost in thought before I leave for Art. I stop at my locker real quick to grab my small bonsai tree, since, for class, the students had to bring in an object to study and do still-lives of.

 

When class is over, as always, Lucy’s waiting for me.

 

“Jeez, you took so long my hair’s grown an entire  _three inches_.”

 

I roll my eyes and adjust my backpack straps on my shoulders.

 

“How’d the shopping go? James let you get those condoms you wanted?”

 

"James may or may not be have taken me to buy a little something,” she says, and I shake my head amusedly. Before I could say anything, she continues, “And, surprise! I got use sushi for tonight! I would’ve told you later, but it looked like you were up to here with my shit.”

 

We laugh and I respond, giggling, “Smart move."

 

As we walk, Lucy bounces on her toes energetically.

 

“So, your classes, how’d they go?"

 

“Good, actually. Time flew today, thank God.”

 

“Cool. You eat with Max and Mike?”

 

“No, they had practice.”

 

“Where’d did you eat? The bathroom?”

 

“Can’t tell ya, you’d probably defile it with a fling of yours.”

 

Lucy scoffs.

 

“My money’s on the bathroom to eat Alex.”

 

I look at her blankly.

 

"Oh, sorry. Eat  _with_  Alex. Stupid autocorrect. "

 

"Lucy, we’re talking."

"Yes. And?”

I glare playfully and she breaks into laughter.

 

As I look away, I catch the eye of someone leaving the classroom.

 

Alex.

 

Even as she turns away from me and continues walking down the hallway, I watch after her. When I turn to Lucy, I see her doing the same. She turns back to me with her arms crossed.

 

I look at Lucy, who seems to be holding her tongue.

 

Suddenly, she turns to me.

 

"So, sushi?"

 

I nod.

 

"Sushi."

 

…

 

Lucy takes the house key from my back pocket before I could do so myself. Even before she opens the door, I hear Cheetos going crazy inside, his barks sounding through the walls.

 

Lucy shoves the bag with sushi into my arms and quickly unlocks the door and pushes it wide open. Cheetos sprints to Lucy and jumps up on her legs and begins licking her jeans.

 

She lifts him up and begins cradling him like a baby and scratching his belly roughly.

 

" _Hi, babyyy_!"

 

I place the grocery bag on top of the kitchen table and run to my bedroom to put down my stuff.

 

“And where is my adoptive mother?”

 

“Right here!” Rosa says, coming out of the bathroom, hair damp from a shower. She dries her hands with her pajama pants.

 

"Mooooom!"

 

Rosa opens her arms for Lucy, who runs straight into them and hugs her tight, laughter thundering through her chest.

 

"How are you?"

 

"I’m good,” Rosa says, she points to a bag by the fridge, “And you have perfect timing! Arnold dropped by a few bags of chips that weren’t eaten at a birthday party he had at his house.”

 

Lucy goes over to the bags and hugs them to her chest.

 

“Ugh, this man is amazing. He’d be an amazing sugar daddy.”

 

"Lucy!"

 

"Sorry, sorry.”

 

I laugh as I take one party mix of chips and Lucy an I get back in my bedroom. She hops into my bed and gets comfortable as I get the sushi container open. She starts scrolling through her phone and I sit beside her, offering a set of chopsticks.

 

"Oh! Maggie, I found you a girl."

 

I look over to her while she scrolls through her screenshots.

 

"I found her on Tinder. She is hot, likes to party. She’s perfect for you, look."

 

Lucy passes her phone to me and I look over the girl.

 

"She looks nice."

 

Lucy snatches her phone from me in excitement, showing more photos of the girl.

 

“It’s great that you think so because she’s a partier and there’s bound to be one soon. There’s a good chance if you show up, you’ll bump into her."

 

“Yeah,” I say mindlessly, biting into a piece of sushi.

 

Lucy leans in closer and throws an arm around my shoulder, “And,” she says, “Her bio says she’s single and doesn’t want anything serious.”

 

I shake my head and take a bite of sushi. What’s with the constant sex-talk? Has it always been this incessant?

 

“No,” I say, “I  _refuse_ to hook up while this bet is on. And,” I point at Lucy, “I am  _definitely_  not hooking up with someone I just met.”

 

"Oh my  _god_ , you’re such a prude! Live a little, you have to try it at least once.”

 

“I have! Vanessa?”

 

“Who?” Lucy asks, brows furrowed. Then something dawns on her face. “Oh! Right, I forgot!”

 

"Not me.”

 

"You have an amazing memory. Half of the time, I can’t remember anyone's name,” she says.

 

I roll my eyes and ruffle her hair. She pulls away, swatting my hand away.

 

“Well, now I revel in the fact that you will finally have a terrible sexual experience. It’s about time you’ve joined me.”

 

I stop, lowering the sushi I have caught between my chopsticks back to the plate.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

“I mean, it's kinda obvious."

 

“Are you insinuating that I’m not a good lay?” I giggle in amusement.

 

“I mean, I'm not saying _you_. But  _Alex_ …”

 

I roll my eyes irritably.

 

“Okay,” I say, “Are we obligated to talk about her every time?”

 

Ignoring me, Lucy keeps on.

 

“Do you even think she knows where the cl—"

 

I stop her right there.

 

"She’s in  _Anatomy and Biology_ , Lucy. She knows the human body."

 

“So… you don’t think she’ll be all over the place?”

 

<<I’m just saying, maybe we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.>> I say firmly and Lucy relents a little bit.

 

" Yeah, yeah. You’re right, I guess."

 

“I’m  _always_  right.”

 

I see Lucy swing her pillow at me from the corner of my eye, and I try to dodge it but despite my efforts, she nails me right in the face.

 

“If you keep on like this, this is gonna end up becoming a very cliché pillow fight, just like in the movies."

 

“Lucy, you live for those types of clichés."

 

“Maybe so.”

 

I roll my eyes and Lucy hops into the bed and gets my laptop from my nightstand.

 

“Okay, movie! Your choice!"

 

“ _Finally_ , you haven’t let me pick in ages. For once, something good will be on.”

 

“Don't make me regret this.” Lucy says, laying next to me.

 

…

 

It was hard concentrate in class. My eyes are unfocused and mind wandering.

 

Until…

 

“There’s a photography contest being held by the National City Museum of Art, who are looking for student work to display in a small gallery.”

 

My ears perk up, I listen closely.

 

“You’re required to submit three of your best pieces, and the best pieces will win a cash prize and also have place in the museum for two weeks,” Marthe explains, “First place will win a one-thousand dollar grant and have a place in the museum, second, five-hundred dollars, and third, two-hundred and fifty. An email will be sent to the student mass within the day confirming this information and will have additional contact information if you have any questions. Look out for it.”

 

Marthe places a stack of sign-up sheets and brochures with more information on her desk for students to take and directs the class to get back to work. As she busies herself with helping another student with their painting, I shoot over to the desk and grab one of each and sneak back to my seat.

 

When class is over, I pull the brochure from my backpack and read it over.

 

A few sentences in, I sigh and stuff it back in my bag.

 

I wouldn’t win anyway.

 

When I get to the parking lot, I find him leaning on the hood of his Jeep, playing with his keys.

 

“So when are you gonna send—”

 

I interrupt him, “I'm not doing it.”

 

"Oh, come  _on_ , Maggie! You have to!"

 

"I’ve already told you a million times before, James. I don't enter stupid contests."

 

"You can’t even try? A fail isn’t a fail when you try.”

 

“It's not my thing,” I say, and I shut the car door with a bit too much force. I look at him sideways, “Are we going home?”

 

He nods. A few minutes later, I’m at the front of my apartment building. I thank him, shut the car door, and run inside.

 

I toss the brochure in the trash and storm into my room. I drop my bag and make my way to my bed, jumping into it face first.

 

I get a notification on my phone. An email.

 

When I open it up, it’s the one Marthe was talking about earlier. I don’t really read it, but I do grab a few details without trying to before I lock my phone.

 

There’s a mandatory interview you have to do prior to sending in your photos, I catch that they’re going on for the next couple of  Wednesdays, including tomorrow.

 

I meet with Alex on Wednesdays.

 

"You should go."

 

Rosa’s voice makes me jump,  causing me to almost fall off the bed and kiss the floor.

 

"Have you ever heard of knocking? I almost had a heart attack!”

 

Rosa knocks on the open door cheekily, a smile on her face.

 

I roll my eyes with a wry grin.

 

“I wasn't joking. This is a good opportunity. Not only for the money but for your career.”

 

I sigh at her words. Dread bubbling in my stomach and a weight settling on my shoulders.

 

“It’s pointless.”

 

“Maggie…”

 

I shake my head, bringing my knees up and hiding my face in them.

 

"Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Not really,” I say tiredly.

 

I hear Rosa sigh heavily.

 

“Okay, hun. Let me know if you change your mind.”

 

From under my eyelashes, I see Rosa hover at the door, a pensive expression on her face.

 

“You hungry? I’m ordering out.”

 

“Whatever is fine. Not really craving anything.”

 

“Pizza sound good?”

 

I nod, smiling up to her as best I could, “Yeah. Sounds good.”

 

I take a deep breath and look over at my phone. I take it into my hands.

 

 _Do it, Sawyer,_ I think.

 

_Danvers. I’m gonna have to cancel,_

_something came up last minute. I'm sorry :(_

 

I close my phone and throw it to the other side of the bed, not really expecting a fast answer.

 

_Buzz, buzz._

 

_Probably Lucy._

 

I pick up my phone and  _Danvers_  pops up on my screen.

 

_Don't worry, it's fine. We can still get together on Thursday,_

_We can finish what we have to do then._

 

 

_Okay, thanks. I didn't want you to think that I gave up_

_and wasn't interested in meeting up anymore._

 

 

I go to lock my phone, but then I see three dots in a speech bubble appear on my screen. She’s typing.

 

_I would never think that. Also, don't feel bad._

_Next time it could be me canceling. It happens._

_I prefer you let me know now rather than later so_

_I don’t end up waiting for nothing._

 

_Okay. Thanks for understanding._

 

_I have to go. Have a good one._

 

 

—Wednesday—

 

In the end, the interview was more of a first come first serve thing to limit the amount of applicants rather than an actual interview. They only asked a few questions—name, age, birth city, and major—and then chalked down your name as an applicant. They said you could pull yourself from the list at any time if you changed your mind.

 

You just needed one last thing.

 

A signature from one of your art professors.

 

Easy, but an extra step. No signature, no entry. That easy to automatically draw out.

 

I thought of quitting right then.

 

I can’t stop thinking of quitting  _now_.

 

Secretly, all I have is doubt for myself. And yeah, people believe in me, but that doesn’t make me feel better, really. Believe all you want, there’s only going to be one true winner.

 

And I most likely won’t be one.

 

My thoughts won’t stop revolving around that contest, and when I get to Marthe’s class, it gets worse. The brochures and sign up sheets are still at her desk, there was no way I could escape them, reiterated when Marth reminds the class of the opportunity.

  

When class is dismissed, I pull my backpack over my shoulder and sidle up to Marthe’s desk.

 

It was just me, her and Alex—who was washing a few brushes at the back of the class—left in the room.

 

Probably so engrossed in her work, Marthe doesn’t look up from her screen.

 

A breath.

 

“Do you think I should participate?”

 

She looks at me, and I was too aware of the fact that for the first time in front of her, I was shy, timid, and unsure.

 

She puts her hand out and I give her my portfolio.

 

Marthe looks through my photos expressionlessly, handling them leisurely. She looks at the next one, analyzes it, and goes on to the next.

 

I worry she doesn’t think I’m good enough.

 

I worry she wouldn’t care.

 

“Why not?” she says.

 

“Half of the photography department must’ve probably signed up by now, how could I compete?”

 

“I think you should at least try.”

 

“But what’s the point of entering a contest if I know I’m not going to win?”

 

“Maggie, look,” I look up to her, “Maybe you’re not the best photographer there ever was, but these pictures are beautiful. You have nothing to lose in trying, and if you’re really just anxious about having your name displayed, your work can be displayed under Anonymous.”

 

She takes a form from a pile on her desk and pushes one to me.

 

A beat.

 

"Okay. I’ll do it”

 

“You have a pen?”

 

"Yeah."

 

I pull one from my side pocket and she signs the paper speedily.

 

She hands the form back with the tiniest of smiles. Then, she gets up from her desk a bit awkwardly and approaches Alex. I watch them.

 

“Thank you, Alex,” she says.

 

“Of course, no problem.”

 

Alex turns and meets my eyes. She sends a grin my way and I send one right back, dimples and all.

 

I can do this.

 

Sign up form in hand, I throw my jacket over my shoulders and quickly fix my hair before leaving the classroom.

 

\-------------------------------------------

 

_Halo- (J2 feat. i.am.willow)_

 

_Remember those walls I built. Well. Baby, they're tumbling down_

_And they didn't even put up a fight, they didn't even make up a sound_

_I found a way to let you in.. But I never really had a doubt_

_Standing in the light of your halo. I got my angel now_

_It's like I've been awakened, every rule I had you breakin'_

_It's the risk that I'm takin'_

_I ain't never gonna shut you out_

_You're everything I need and more_

_It's written all over your face_

_Baby, I can feel your halo_

_Pray it won't fade away,_

_Hit me like a ray of sun, burning through my darkest night,_

_You're the only one that I want.. Think I'm addicted to your light,_

_I swore I'd never fall again. But this doesn't even feel like falling,_

_Gravity can't forget.. To pull me back to the ground again._

 

\-------------------------------------------

 

I’m on my bed surfing the internet on my laptop when I hear someone knocking on the door. I put my laptop blanket and hop to the floor. I hear Rosa call my name as I walk out of my room.

 

“Maggie, it's for you!”

 

I sprint over to the door.

 

Before I get there, I spot our guest in the kitchen.

 

One of my best friends, Crystal. A girl I’ve known since my freshman year.

 

I jump into her arms.

 

“I missed you so much.”

 

“I missed you, too.”

 

I push her back at arm's length, “What are you doing here?”

 

“I have a short work contract here, and I had to see you first! I’m gonna be around until they send me back.”

 

“Your right on time!”

 

“Oh? What have I missed?”

 

“A lot.”

 

She follows me to my bedroom and we both get in. I grab my laptop and sign into my Netflix, then pick a random movie I watched recently for background noise. We lean back on the pillows and relax.

 

“So, anyone catch your eye recently?” she asks.

 

I gawp for a moment and look away.

 

“Should I take that as a yes or no?”

 

“I mean...” I start.

 

I look at her and she smiles at me, encouraging.

 

“Mike and  I-I have this bet… about his girl.”

 

Crystal winces in sympathy, “That bad, huh?”

 

“No, it’s really not. It’s just—”

 

“It’s just what?”

 

“Every time I’m with her,” I pause, trying to find the words, “I forget about it.”

 

“Well, that’s a good thing then, isn’t it?”

 

“I guess so, yeah.”

 

She puts a hand on my back and I give her a meek smile. Attempting to shake myself out of my stupor, I change the subject.

 

“So, Dylan is throwing a party at his place next week. You in?”

 

“I’m always in.”

 

“Cool.”

 

There are a few moments of comfortable silence as we gaze at the computer screen. Crystal breaks the silence.

 

“So, how’s Stef?”

 

My shoulders drop at the question. “Oh, um, she dropped out about a year ago. We haven’t really talked after that,” I shrug. “It’s weird. She was such an important part of my life at one point. I’ve always felt like I owe her for all she’s done for me.”

 

“I understand. But remember, you don’t owe her anything because of that. Just like you don’t owe your parents just because they had you and raised you. She took you under her wind because she wanted to. Your friendship was enough. You were and are enough.”

 

I nod and breathe out shakily. Crystal places a comforting hand on my back and leans close.

 

“You’re a good egg, Sawyer,” she laughs.

 

I nudge her in the shoulder, smiling.

 

She knows me well.

 

Sometimes I wonder if it's too much.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and Alex get closer and seem to, I don’t know, start to like each other... ;)


	11. Step Foward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If something tried to pull us apart, we’d find our way back to each other because of what has formed between us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a while since I wrote something to treat myself. Love all these cute Sanvers moments!

\- 6 September 2018 _

 

\- Thursday -

 

I’m on my way to the library when I feel a hand grab my arm and turn me around.

 

"Where are you going?" Kara asks, frantic.

 

“To the library?”

 

“What? But the Science Fair’s today!”

 

_The Science Fair?_

 

_Oh…shit!_

 

"Oh, yeah! I was just going to make a quick stop—"

 

“It's starting in five minutes, we have to go  _now_!”

 

While Kara proceeds to drag me out of the school by the arm, I unlock my phone to let Maggie know that I had to cancel.

 

“Now’s not the time to play Amateur Surgeon on your phone, Alex!”

 

“I’m just checking something real quick.”

 

Kara snatches my phone right out of my hand before I can do anything.

 

“Confiscated!”

 

“Wha—Kara, no! I—”

 

“What’s so important that it can’t wait until after the Science Fair?”

 

Huffing, I attempt to snatch my phone from Kara a few more times but am unsuccessful. I slump my shoulders in defeat feeling a bit downtrodden.

 

Kara doesn’t notice the shift in her attitude.

 

“Nothing, it's fine.”

 

"Alright! Come on, let’s go!"

 

_I'm sorry Maggie…_

 

\---

 

Five minutes.

 

Ten.

 

Fifteen.

 

I sigh in frustration as I text Alex for the third time in five minutes.

 

_Where are you?_

 

After another bout of time passes, I give up and go to the cafeteria. I spot Lucy and she waves me over when she sees me. I plop in the seat across from her and bury my face in my hands.

 

She breaks the silence in seconds.

 

“You look like a sad sack of potatoes there,” Lucy says, “What’s got you down, my friend?”

 

I look up and bring up my elbows to the table, cradling my head in my hands.

 

“Alex ditched me,” I say sourly, “Which means I’m going to get a big fat zero on my assignment. There’s no way I can do it alone.”

 

“Ah, nevermind that! Good vibes here, I’ll cheer you up in no time.”

 

I send her a thin-lipped smile.

 

_Buzz, buzz._

 

I jump at the sudden vibrations and scramble for my phone in my pocket.

 

A notification from Alex.

 

I see Lucy looking at me inquisitively, but I ignore her silent question to focus on the text.

 

_I’m so sorry! I forgot the Science Fair was today and me and Kara always go together. I wanted to text you, but Kara stole me my phone! :(_

 

I bite my lip nervously.

 

_What should I do now?_

_What do you mean?_

 

_I have to pass everything in by Monday and_

_I’m not even halfway through my assignment._

 

I hold my breath, waiting for Alex to answer.

 

_Come to my locker. I have an idea._

 

With a relieved sigh, I lock my phone and start to gather my things.

 

“Who’s the lucky lady?” Lucy asks.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

I pull my backpack over my shoulders and check my laces.

“In a rush to go somewhere? Do someone?”

 

“I have things to do, I gotta go. I’ll see you later!” I shout, looking to Lucy over my shoulder.

“Where are you going?”

 

I was on the other side of the cafeteria before I even registered Lucy’s question.

 

…

 

I see that Alex is facing away as I approach her. Being careful to not startle her, I call out to her softly when I’m close enough.

 

“Hey,” I say.

 

My attempt not to scare her is unsuccessful, I find, when jumps a foot into the air, turns to me, and hides something behind her back. Before I can make a comment at her nervousness, she speaks.

 

“This stays between  _us_ , okay?”

 

Despite not being sure what I’m agreeing to, I nod, albeit unsure.

“Uh, okay?”

Alex brings her hand from behind her back and passes me the sheet of paper in her hand. Not a second passes when I realize it’s  _her_  homework. I look at her incredulously.

 

“You want me to  _cheat_?”

“ _Shhh_! Not so  _loud_.”

 

Alex looks around us, which makes me do the same, and when I look back to her face, it looks less tense. Relieved.

 

“Thanks, but no thanks,” I say, quietly so I wouldn’t send Alex into another state of panic. I shove the test back to her. “I’d get nowhere by doing that. This won’t make me pass exams.”

 

Alex heaves out a big sigh, crumpling the paper in her hands.

 

“Yeah, your right.”

 

Unsure what to do, I stand there in silence. Suddenly, Alex looks up at me.

 

“Do you work the weekend?”

 

“Unfortunately.”

 

“Damn, what about tomorrow night?”

 

“I’ve got Photography, but I’ll be out in an hour.”

 

“Same here,” Alex says, “I’ll wait for you. We can go to your place?”

 

“Um, actually, would it be okay to go to yours? I can’t… I’m not allowed to invite anyone over without my aunt’s permission. She’s at work, so.”

 

She takes a moment, most likely thinking about it.

 

"Alright, you can come over. But you have to leave before supper, that okay?”

 

“Sounds perfect.”

 

 

\---

 

The next day, right out of Photography, I text Alex.

_Finished_

_Where are you?_

_Bus stop. Grab your coat, it's raining a bit._

I grab my coat from my locker and jog to the exit. Once outside, I get up on my tiptoes, looking around the lot for Alex. I spot her and run to her, a little out of breath once I get there.

 

“Hey.”

 

 

“Hey,” Alex says, fixing her bag on her shoulders. She nods her head to the side. “Follow me."

 

I look around but begin to walk after her. “We’re walking?”

 

“Yeah, the next bus comes in an hour. It's only a twenty-minute walk, so.”

 

“Alright,” I say, catching up with her. “Thanks for doing this.”

 

“Of course. You were right,if you just copied, it wouldn’t really have been good in the long run.”

 

“I’m surprised you even suggested I cheat. Because, that was cheating you know.”

 

Alex sighs, “Yeah, I know. It’s just that it would have been my fault if you had failed. I would felt bad.”

 

I shake my head, hoping she could see how earnest I was even though she wasn’t looking at me.

 

“No, I mean, I canceled too. Don’t put everything on yourself.”

 

Not taking that, Alex argues.

 

“But I left you in the dust. At least  _you_  had the decency to cancel a whole day beforehand. You wasted your time, you know?”

 

Alex stops at the end of the sidewalk and presses the cross button, I stop next to her.

 

“But we’re here now, aren’t we?”

 

She looks at me, and she’s momentarily silhouetted by the headlights of a passing car. When I can see her clearly again, she looks brighter, somehow.

 

“Yeah.”

 

The crosswalk sign flashes the white pedestrian and Alex, cautious as she is, looks both ways before gently leading me with her as we cross the street. We get to the other side pretty quickly.

 

“So, how was the Science Fair yesterday?” I ask, breaking the silence.

 

Alex shrugs. “I was alright. There wasn’t much new stuff this year.”

 

“Aw, that sucks. Did you even want to go? or…?”

 

“Sister,” she said.

 

“Ah.”

 

My attempt at conversation didn’t last long, unfortunately, but we settled in a comfortable silence, which I was glad for. Everything’s beginning to be easy with Alex.

 

Alex then jumps on the edge of the sidewalk and, like the kids do, balances herself with her arms as if she’s walking on a tightrope.

 

“Given your personality, I feel like  _I_  should be the one doing that.”

 

“Well, come on then.”

 

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I'll be on my ass in two seconds flat.”

 

She laughs and jumps down to the asphalt, then offering a hand out to me. I take it and let her pull me to the edge. We stop and I put one foot behind the other, making sure to only have my feet planted on the darker gray concrete. After that, I look down to Alex.

 

 

I grin.

 

“Why are you smiling like that?” she asks.

 

“I’m taller than you now."

 

She laughs and stands on her tiptoes, making herself taller than me again, even though I’m on higher ground.

 

“Hey! No cheating.”

 

She huffs, amused, and begins walking forward with my hand still in hers. Slowly, she lets go, and after a few steps, I stumble back onto the sidewalk.

 

Unwilling to admit defeat, I ignore her soft giggles and get back on the edge. I spread my arms out, but I find it doesn’t help when I stumble again, this time bumping into Alex, whose hands are already out to catch me.

 

Then, I get back at it, but I grasp her shoulder for support, a stupid smile on my face.

 

“Need help, Clumsy?”

"Ha, ha, ha, very funny,” I say, tugging Alex back up on the sidewalk. She laughs and nudges me with a soft hand. After that, we walk a few minutes in comfortable silence.

 

Then, she stops.

 

“Okay, here we are.”

 

Alex points to the side, and I look in the direction to find myself looking up to a big and rural house.

She stop in front of the door taking her key out of her pocket and enter in a classic house.

 

Right off the bat, Alex steps out of her Converse and I do the same with my Vans, lining my shoes close to hers. I watch my steps as I follow her up the sheen wooden stairs, not wanting to stumble in my socks.

She walks inside, walking into stairs as I follow her. Turning to the left as we enter in a bedroom.

 

I graze the walls with my fingers, looking around, brows arched.

“You ready?”

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, sorry,” I say, shaking my head, “Just admiring the decor.”

 

“You don’t have to lie, you know, you can say it’s lame or whatever.”

“No, I like it,” I say, walking past her, “It’s cute.”

She smiles a bit while she sits in her single bed. I sit in front of her as I get of the homework.

“Do you need anything? Water, food?”

 

“No, I’m good. Thanks.”

She nods and while she searches for her textbook, as I start working on the first equation of my homework.

 

My concentration was broken by a furry, white paw landing in the middle of the page. I look up.

 

A cat.

I grin stupidly as they plop themself on their back, offering their belly.

“Hello, who are you?” I say, letting the cat sniff my hand before I scratch under their chest.

“Oh, sorry! I didn't see him come in. Are you allergic? I can put him out if he’s bothering you.”

“Nah, it’s fine. He's cute! What’s his name? Abraham Lincoln?” I tease, awwing as he nestles himself in my arms.

I hear Alex approach me, and she reaches an arm from behind me to pet Graham’s head.

“ _No_ , Graham.”

 

“Like Alexander Graham Bell? The one that invented the phone?”

“No, like a graham cracker. It’s the first thing he ate here. Right off the floor.”

I laugh, making Graham twitch in surprise.

“Get out of here, you cheeky bastard,” she says, lifting him to his feet and patting his but.

 

I stroke Graham’s back as he jumps down to the floor. He settles into a small cat bed in the corner of the room.

 

“It usually takes him a while to warm up to people,” Alex says quietly.

 

I smile at her.

 

“I have a way with animals.”

 

“Okay, so, your homework. Where were we?” she ask turning the homework on her side.

 

…

 

Then Alex get out of the bedroom to go get yourself two glass of water. When she went back she close the door and I show her my answers and she begins to look it over, the tip of her eraser at her lips.

 

“So far so good, you’ve got most of it down.”

 

She smiles when she couch herself comfortably looking into an nerdy magazine.

 

She then closes it to check my homework and I smile.

 

She circles a few numbers and passes my notebook and worksheet back to me.

 

“I still got some wrong?” I ask, disappointment lacing my voice.

 

Alex was quick to comfort me.

 

“You were close. Try again. Just keep in mind which steps come first.”

 

Alex hands the sheet back to me and I erase the entire formula and—

 

The door opens violently.

I whip my head around and see a small blonde with big blue eyes gaping at us.

 

_Oh, the sister._

 

“Kara, can’t you knock?”

 

“Oh my god, Alex!” she squeals, “You made a new  _friend_?”

“Kara, it’s not—”

 

Kara sandwiches my hand between hers and shakes it furiously.

 

"Hi, I'm Kara, Alex sister,” she says, “It’s  _so_  nice to meet you. Alex  _never_  brings  _anyone_  over.”

 

“ _Kara_!”

 

At her name, Kara looks over to Alex and releases my hand. I wiggle my fingers.

 

_Strong grip._

 

“Sorry to interrupt! I was just anxious because the door was closed, and you never close your door. But, I mean, if you want to close it that’s okay too,” she rambles. Then, she whips her head in my direction, a scandalized look on her face, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t let you introduce yourself. What’s your name?”

 

“I'm Maggie, it’s nice to meet you,” I say, giving her a sweet smile that makes her put a hand over her heart.

 

“Awww, Alex, your friend is so  _sweet_.”

 

I see Alex slap a hand on her forehead, a blush creeping up to her cheeks.

 

I hear a call from downstairs.

 

“I'm home!”

 

“Mom, come here! Alex brought a friend!”

 

“Kara, you’re embarrassing me!” Alex says, glancing over to me, “Stop making this such a big deal!”

 

Couple second later, an older woman appears at the door.

 

“Hello,” she says, “I’m Eliza, Alex’s mom.”

 

Eliza approaches me with three long and graceful strides and takes my hand in hers, shaking it gently, unlike Kara had.

 

“Maggie.”

 

She nods, smiling at me.

 

“It’s very nice to meet you, Maggie. Alex never brings any friends over, so this is a wonderful treat.”

 

From the corner of my eye, I could see Alex bursting at the seams, delightfully bashful.

 

“Are you joining us for dinner?” Eliza asks me.

 

Alex answers before I could.

 

“ _No!_ " Alex yells, “She’s  _not_.”

 

I don’t take offense at her indignation, I  just smile in amusement instead.

 

 _Someone’s not used to friends coming over,_ I sing internally,  _Too sweet._

 

“Oh, come on, sweetie, let the girl answer for herself.”

 

“Mom, we’re busy! Maggie’s gonna head home right after we finish, there’s no time.”

 

“Oh, I think so. A little brain food could do you two some good. It's about suppertime, I’m sure you can eat.” She says. She turns to me, “What do you say?”

 

“I would love to.” I shoot a small smile in Alex’s direction. “If that’s okay with you.” She turns back to Eliza. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

Eliza looks at Alex, daring her to oppose.

 

She doesn’t

 

“Fine. Let’s… yeah.”

 

“Alright, call you when it’s done.”

 

Kara shimmies in places and follows Eliza out the room, Alex right behind them.

As soon as Alex shuts the door, she turns back to me with the most apologetic look on her face.

 

“I'm so sorry.”

 

“It’s fine,” I laugh, “It was funny.”

 

“Yeah. For the supper… you're not obligated”

 

“Well, I want to.” I shrug. “ Plus, I could eat.”

 

She gives me her best smile while I wanted to put a hand on her to say it was okay but I had to self-control.

 

One step at a time.

 

“Do you have your notes?”

 

“Yeah, they’re in my folder, hang on a sec.”

 

I said grabbing my file as the fold get lost in the same time. I put it back, but alex had the time to see it.

 

“Oh, you’re participating in the photography contest?”

 

“Yeah? I think so? I don’t know.”

 

“I doesn’t seem like you want to.”

 

“I just… I don’t think there’s a point.”

 

“What? Why do you think that?”

 

“I'm not good enough.”

“That is not true. I think your pictures are amazing.”

 

“Still not good enough, I guess.”

 

Alex hums in thought.

 

“Have you… entered before?”

 

“No—I mean, yeah, but it’s…”

 

She looks at me, eyes open and questioning. Her stare is too much, so I look at the bed instead, tracing the patterns of the stitching.

<< There was something about her that made me feel safe, that made me want to tell her everything about me. >>

 

“The first time I entered, I was anonymous. No one even knew.”

 

"Why’d you submit anonymously?”

 

“I didn’t want anyone to vote for me because it was me. I wanted to to win because my photos were good.”

 

Alex nods in understanding.

 

“Which photo was yours?” she asks softly.

“The one with the girl in the river.”

 

To this day, it was one of Maggie’s favorite photos that she’s ever taken.

 

“Oh, I think I remember. I voted for you, I think. It was beautiful.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You’re very welcome,” she says, smiling, “You’re very talented.”

 

“Me?  _You_. Your paintings are amazing.”

 

She smiles bashfully.

 

There’s a call from downstairs, "Supper’s ready!”

 

We stand up together and Alex stops me before I get too far.

 

“I just want to say that I’m sorry in advance.”

 

I tilt my head.

 

“For what?”

 

“They’re gonna be super annoying and ask a lot of questions—which you don’t have to answer! If you don’t want to.”

 

“It's okay. Don't worry,” I said putting my hand on her arm and she crack a smile.

 

“Alright, but you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

 

I laugh as she follow the way down the stairs. They were waiting for us. They give us the two chair next to each other.

 

Talk about meeting the family.

 

“So, Maggie, what are you majoring in?" Eliza asks.

 

“I’m in Photography.”

 

She shake her head with a small smile.

 

“Where did you two meet?”

 

“We’re in a few of the same classes.”

 

I take the first part of my food and they looked at me as like they wait for me to judge.

 

“This is good.”

 

They smile and I smile too. The conversation follow to be fluid. Alex tried to excuse us to finish my homework.

 

“Oh, of course, sorry to keep you two.”

 

I smile, saying it was no problem, and I see Alex roll her eyes from the corner of mine.

 

“Is she staying over?” Kara asks loudly, poking her head in Alex’s doorframe.

 

“No.”

 

“Aw, okay,” Kara says. She looks to me, “Nice to meet you! Hope to see soon!.”

 

“Nice to meet you, see you.”

 

With that, Kara disappears, and it’s just us again.

 

So when we finish I pack my thing getting up and Alex walk me until the door. Her mom wave me a bye as she left us in the hallway.

 

“I'm sorry for all of that that. You will have a lot of question about me”

 

“Yeah, I already know it. Don't worry about that. My aunt would have done the exact same thing.”

 

Alex nods, and we smile at each other.

 

I break out eye contact by looking down, watching my hands as I pat jeans. I look back up to her, and she still has a soft smile on her face.

 

“Thanks again. I know I’ve said it a million times, but...”

 

“You’re welcome,” she says. Alex shifts on her feet. “So uh, see you Tuesday?”

 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 

Alex purses her lips to the side and glances at her feet.

 

I wanted to hug her, but I didn’t, not wanting to push her boundaries. Not wanting to lose the closeness that’s been developing between us. So, instead, I tilt my chin up and throw her one last smile.

 

“See you around, Danvers.”

 

“See you around, Sawyer.”

 

I open the door and close it behind me. I hear Alex lock it.

 

I look back at it, wishing I had x-ray vision to see her for a moment more.

 

_Wow..._

 

\---

 

After Maggie leaves, I start to get ready for bed. I quickly brush my teeth and wash my face, looking at myself in the mirror for a few moments before patting my face with a towel. I throw it over the shower rail so I wouldn’t forget it while bringing my pajamas in.

 

I walk down the short hall and hear a yelp coming from my bedroom. I open the door with a dramatic slowness, spotting Kara in the middle of my room floor, rubbing her foot with a wince on her face.

 

“You’re not very good at hiding.” I say, crossing my arms, a smirk spreading across my lips.

 

Kara jolts.

 

“Shit! I—uh—I mean, I was cleaning the,” she looks down and then back to me, “The floor?”

“Oh, were you? You don’t sound so sure about that.”

 

Kara stands up, mouth wide open and finger in the air.

 

I raise my eyebrows expectantly.

 

She lets out a long breath and slumps her shoulders dramatically.

 

“Yeah, okay, so  _no_ ,” she says, “I wasn’t… cleaning the floor.” Kara looks around her feet nervously, glancing up few times. “It’s… it’s actually pretty spotless, so...I’m just—yeah.”

 

Wordlessly, I pass her and sit on my bed, which groans at the weight. I look at her

and pat the bedding next to me, encouraging Kara to sit down.

 

She settles next to me gingerly, as if not trying to crinkle the sheets.

 

I get straight to the point.

 

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

 

Kara doesn’t waste time either.

 

“Since when have you and Maggie become friends? You haven’t said a word about her before.”

 

Thrown off by her words, I stumble over mine a few times before answering her.

“We…” I trail off, looking down at my restless hands, picking at my nails. I lick my lips, continuing, “We’re not friends. She just needs me to tutor her so she doesn’t fail her class.”

 

“Is this why you’ve been so distant lately?”

 

I nod, looking away from her.

 

“Why didn't tell me? You tell me  _everything_.”

 

“I didn't think it was important. I mean, at first, I thought she wouldn’t show up. And then when she did, and when she kept coming, I didn’t know how to tell you,” I explain, “I didn’t even know if you  _wanted_  to know. We aren’t… friends. It just… didn’t matter, I guess.”

 

Kara takes my hand as I try to regulate my breathing, winded from the speech.

 

“I always want to know what’s going on, I love hearing about your day, about anything you’re willing to share with me.”

 

I tuck my chin to my chest. “I know,” I say, and Kara squeezes my hand a bit tighter. Head still hanging, I peek over to her.

 

“Well, I want to remind you, one more time, that you matter. You matter to me, too. And it seems like… Maggie matters to you. And that’s great,” Kara says, a smile on her face. “You don’t have to hide anything from me, or dismiss your experiences because you think they’re not important, because they are.”

 

I nod, a bit emotional and teary. “Okay.”

 

“Okay.” Kara pats my hand. Then, suddenly, she jumps to her feet. “Now! Go shower before I waste the hot water on you.”

 

Kara runs out of my room and I chuckle. I stand and go to my dresser to collect my pajamas, then head to my bathroom. On the way, I bump into my mom.

 

“Hey, sweetheart,” she says, “Your friend was nice, do tell her she can come over whenever she’d like.”

 

“Kay,” I say, and go around her and step into the bathroom. I place my clothes on the counter next to the sink, and I hear my mom call my name.

 

I look out through the door and she’s right at the threshold. She taps at it, seeming to be contemplating something. She shakes her head.

 

“Don’t go to bed too late, sweetie, let your sister know the same thing, alright?”

 

“Okay.”

 

With a wave and a goodnight, she closes the door. I flick on the vent and it rumbles, filling the room with a low whooshing sound. I listen to it, still. I lift my hands and start to unbutton my flannel.

 

She was right.

 

Maggie  _was_  nice.

 

But she just... needed me.

 

I drop my hands to my sides, my flannel only halfway open. I look in the mirror, frowning at my reflection.

She doesn’t spend time with me because she likes me.

 

She just doesn't have a choice.

 

_‘Closer’ by J2 [feat. Keeley Bumford]_

 

_Turn the lights off in this place._

_And she shines just like a star_

_And I swear I know her face_

_I just don't know who you are_

_Turning up in here I still hear her loud and clear_

_Like he's right there in my ear_

_Telling me that you wants to own me_

_To control me_

_Come closer_

_And I just can't take myself away_

_Under her spell I can't break I just can't stop_

_And I just can't bring myself no way_

_But I don't want to escape I just can't stop_

_He's ( she) the sweetest taste of sin_

_The more I get the more I want_

_He (she) wants to own me_

_Come closer_

_She says come closer_

_And I just can't take myself away_

_Under her spell I can't break I just can't stop_

_And i just can't bring myself no way_

_But I don't want to escape I just can't stop_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so fun to write! Me and my amazing co-worker had a blast with this one!


	12. All Through the best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We’ve started to become closer. I thought it’d be faster than this but, I have to remind myself that things like this take time. Today is a different day, and we’ve taken another step. Even though it's something as small as this, it means a lot to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided that this chapter was going to be THE chapter. As in, the start of everything chapter. Alex and Maggie are getting close and I'm so here for it.

- 11 September 2018-

 

-Tuesday-

 

Once class is over, I immediately gravitate towards Alex.

 

“Hey, are we meeting up today?” I ask her.

 

"I mean, J’onn didn’t assign us anything. We don’t have to, unless you have anything I can help you with.”

 

"Oh.” I hold my arms in front of me. “No, ugh, a break sounds good, I guess.”

 

Alex zips her bag closed and pulls a strap over her shoulder. She shrugs. "Yeah, for the both of us. We’ll have time to study for Marthe’s class.”

 

“Wha—We have an exam tomorrow?””

 

“Yeah, she updated the syllabus on Classroom.”

 

I stare at her as if she could will it to not be so.

 

“Your kidding.”

 

“I’m not.”

"Shit, better go study then.”

 

“Yeah, you better,” she teases, and exits the room.

 

I watch Alex watch away, wishing she’d offered we study together.

\---

I’m in my room poring over my notes when Kara decides to interrupt my laser-focused studying.

 

“You have to go to sleep, like, now,” she says.

 

I swivel around in my chair to face her. “It's only 11 p.m. I’m not a child, you know.”

 

She puts her hands on her hips and steels her gaze. "You know how you get when you need sleep." Kara waves her hand to the bed. “You’re gonna end up falling asleep in that chair rather than under the sheets.

 

“I’ve only got a few more things to memorize, I’ll be fine.”

 

Kara sighs and the room falls silent. Although I can’t concentrate with her looking over my shoulder, I keep my gaze locked onto my papers anyway.

 

"Did you meet up with Maggie again today?"

 

I tap my fingers and flip a page, skimming the information about the baroque period and Caravaggio.

 

“No, Professor J’onzz didn’t assign anything. We’re caught up for now.”

 

“You could’ve met up to study for your art exam.”

 

I slump in my chair, breathe in through my nose, and slowly exhale through my mouth. I swivel my chair in her direction and throw an arm around the back of it.

 

“Why would I? She’s fine at it.”

 

"You two can still spend time together, you know. Become close friends.”

 

“I don’t think she’d be up for it anyway.”

 

“How you know that?”

 

I roll my eyes and turn my back to her.

 

“Because, I do.”

 

Kara sighs. "Okay, defensive, if you say so,” she says.

 

I flush at the comment, not sure if its because of annoyance or embarrassment.

 

I hear her approach behind me and she embraces me lightly from behind.

 

“I’m gonna turn in. Don’t go to sleep too late,  _okay_?”

 

" _Okay_ , ’Night, Kara. Love you.”

 

“‘Night. Love you, too.”

 

I look to her, a small smile on my face.

 

Kara smiles softly and closes the door.

 

\----

 

I think it’s happening in a dream the first time I hear it.

 

_"Alex, wake up!"_

 

I inhale sharply, suddenly realizing the ache in my back. I wince.

 

“Mmm…”

 

Then, there’s yelling again...

 

"A- _lex_! We’re gonna miss the bus! Hurry  _up_!"

 

I shoot out of my seat as if a Kara had poured a bucket of cold water was over my shoulders.

 

“ _Fuck_!” I stumble backwards and bump into Kara. “Fuck, fuck,  _fuck_! What?”

 

I strip and toss the first thing I find in my wardrobe and snag my backpack from the floor. Kara follows me as I run downstairs into the kitchen and she tosses me a croissant from the plate Mom just set on the table.

 

“Gotta go, love you!” I say, pecking her on the cheek and tugging Kara out the door with me.

 

“Bye Mom!” she yells.

 

We see the bus halt at the stop down the sidewalk and we scurry to the door just as it closes. I tap on the door and the driver turns to us and immediately opens the doors to let us in. Kara and I tap our cards on the fare box and take our seats at the front of the bus.

 

"I  _told_  you! I  _told_  you to go to sleep!" Kara huffs, catching her breath.

 

A place a hand on my chest to calm my thundering heart. “I know, I know! It’s just that this exam is stressing me out, I don’t want to flunk it.”

 

“You actually fell asleep at your desk,” Kara says in disbelief.

 

"You don't have to remind me, the drool is proof enough." I say with a grimace, wiping my cheek.

 

She laughs and we quiet down as the bus stops again and more people board.

 

Once we’ve stopped on campus, Kara and I get off the bus and enter the building. Kara walks me to Marthe’s classroom and we stop in front of the closed door.

 

"Alex, you got this.”

 

I wipe my palms on my jeans and nod. Kara gives me a pat on the shoulder and I smile at her before heading into the classroom.

 

I hover a few feet from the door until Marthe looks up and waves me in.

 

"Come on in.”

 

I enter the classroom and claim my seat in the front, pulling my notes out.

 

The students start flooding in and take their seats. As Marth begins the roll-call. After she calls my name, I take a glance at my notes for some last-minute refreshing. Marthe calls a dozen or so more names until I catch one that tickles the end of my consciousness.

 

"Maggie Sawyer."

 

Silence.

 

Marthe raises her eyes from the attendance sheet and scans the room.

 

“Maggie Sawyer?”

 

I turn my head and look to the seat Maggie usually claims and find it vacant.

 

_Did she skip class because of the test?_

 

Marthe begins passing out the exams, and I see a sheet land in front of me, but I provide no reaction, lost in thought.

 

"Good luck," she says to the class, snapping me out of it.

 

I take a pencil from my bag and start going through the questions.

 

I finish early, and even as the other students in the class leave after they’re finished, I decide to stay for the rest of the class-time.

 

I leave the room to grab some art supplies from my locker. I throw my oil paints into my bag and grab a few special brushes from my locker.

When I get back to class, there’s still a few students still sprinkled around the classroom when I get back.

 

As I set up in a station at the back of the room, my mind wanders back to Maggie.

 

For some reason, I’d hoped that Maggie would have text me about what was going on.

 

_Were we those types of friends yet? The ‘Hey, I’m not going to be there today because of this reason’ kind of friends?_

 

Just as I sit down, I realize I forgot to tie my hair up. I jog back to my locker to check if I had any stray elastic bands. As I’m ruffling through it, I hear a loud mechanical groan come from outside.

 

One that I recognize.

 

Out of habit, I look to the sound and see the bus stopped at the curb through the window.

 

And I see Maggie leap out of it, talk to some students, and practically sprint toward  the entrance.

 

I look away and I realize a band around my wrist. I smack my hand on my forehead and shut my locker. I speed-walk to the classroom and tie my hair in a sloppy bun on the way.

 

I wonder what’s got Maggie so frazzled.

 

I hear the double doors bust open.

 

I wonder if she’d tell me.

 

When I get to the classroom, it’s empty, besides Marthe.

 

No Maggie, which is odd, considering I saw her come in not too long ago. Did she have to go somewhere else? Where would she have—?

 

Marthe slides my exam in front of me, fully corrected.

 

“One hundred percent, I knew you’d be fine. You were shaking like a leaf when you walked in.”

 

I shake my head a bit and look up to her.

 

"Yeah. I'm just afraid to…”

 

"Disappoint."

 

I sigh. I was like an open book to her.

 

She smiles and pats my shoulder comfortingly. "I’ll be here for the next two hours, you could stay here and paint if you’d like.”

 

“That’d be perfect, thank you.”

 

Marthe goes back to her desk and I take my lunch out to eat before painting. I take my food out, plug my headphones into my phone and scroll through my YouTube subscriptions and select a video to watch while I eat.

 

_Knock, knock, knock._

 

\---

 

_Buzz, buzz, buzz._

 

I groan, because  _Who is calling me at this time?_

 

I don’t even open my eyes to check who it is before I hang up and flop back into bed.

 

_Buzz, buzz, buzz._

 

I suck my teeth and lean up again. I look at the time—7:04, twenty-six minutes before I was supposed to wake up—and pick up the phone. It’s James.

 

“Hello?”

 

 _“Heeeeeeey, Maggiiiiiie,”_ he says, a nervous train in his voice.

 

I narrow my eyes. “James… what’s wrong.”

 

“Uh, my car... is being repaired in the shop right now,” he says, “I can’t pick you up.”

 

"Oh my god, I have a exam today, James!"

 

“Take the bus! There’s plenty that come by all the time, right.”

 

"Are you kidding?" I ask, not to James, but to fate, maybe. “I’m going to be late!”

 

"I know, it sucks, I’m sorry, Mags.”

 

I take a breath. “It’s okay James, shit happens. I’ll figure it out. Good luck, okay?”

 

“You too.”

 

I hang up.

 

I rush to my laptop and go the the bus transit site to check the times. The next one is in ten minutes, so I rush around and get ready and gather my things. I scrape up some change to pay for the bus fare and skip down the stairs to the bus stop at the corner of my street.

 

I apologize to the person I bump into and look down the road, searching. The bus rolls around right then. I pay the fair, board, and take the first seat I see.

 

As I look around real quick, I notice the bus is pretty empty. I assume it’s because I must have missed rush hour. I take my phone from my pocket and start scrolling through my EDU-emails.

 

Then, from above me, I hear my name. I look up to see Lucy grinning at me.

 

"Ah, us on a bus. Just like the good ol’ days,” she jests, plopping on the seat next to me.

 

“Hey! Couldn’t find a ride either, huh?”

 

“Yup. I thought the guy I’ve been dating would drop me off, but I was surprised to find we were over before we started.”

 

“Aw, thats sucks.”

 

“Nah, don’t worry. I was thinking of breaking it off anyway.”

 

I nod. “That’s good then.”

 

The bus stops at a red light and I check the time for the third time since our conversation started. Lucy laughs.

 

“Looks like we  _both_  want to get to school for once.”

 

I grin, laughing too. “Yeah.”

 

We make small talk for the rest of the ride, and when the bus  _finally_  arrives to campus, Lucy and I gladly hop out.

 

To see Max, football in hand, and Mike standing beside him. I roll my eyes, passing by them without a word.

 

“Look at those nerds taking the bus!" he hollers.

 

"Look at you nerds acting like the bus is a demonic entity!" Lucy shouts back.

 

“James car broke down, I heard," I hear Mike say, and he catches up with my stride.

 

I roll my eyes and speed up into a jog.

 

"I have to go, I’m was supposed to be taking an exam, like, fifteen minutes ago.”

 

"Nerd!"

 

I shake my head in annoyance and just continue towards the building. As I go down the hallway, I run into James.

 

“Maggie! You made it!”

 

“Yup!”

 

I salute to him, still jogging by and snake around  him.

 

No time for pleasantries.

 

I go to my locker and grab a pencil case—because my dumbass forgot to pack supplies—before running to Marthe’s.

 

When I get to the door, I tap on the glass a quick three times.

 

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

 

In just a few seconds, the lock turns and the door opens to reveal Marthe behind it.

 

I hold my hands up. “I can explain."

 

She does  _not_ let me explain.

 

“Class is over, Maggie. You’re getting a zero.”

 

"Please let me do this! My ride’s car broke down and I had to take the bus!”

 

"Did it?"

 

Then, “Yes, she’s telling the truth.” Marthe and I turn to Alex, who’s casually eating from a can of peanuts.  “I saw her walking off the bus earlier,” she adds.

 

Marthe flits her eyes between the two of us and eventually settles her gaze on me.

 

“You get this one exception. Take a seat.”

 

Marthe backs away from the door and goes to her desk. Before I sit,  I walk to Alex.

 

“Thanks,” I say, and she nods, smiling.

 

“You showed up, I'm glad, Sawyer."

 

I smile and take a seat a two desks away from her. Marthe places the exam sheet in the middle of my desk and I slide it towards me. She paces back to her desk and begins to type on her computer.

 

I went through the questions pretty fast, with a hitch here and there.

 

And then I got to the last question.

 

_What the fuck?_

 

I look to Alex and she immediately meets my eyes.

 

I glance in Marthe’s direction. She isn’t looking.

 

“Contrast between light and dark?” I mouth.

 

“Chiaroscuro," she mouths back.

 

 _Chiarascuro_ , I write, hoping the spelling isn’t too bad. I stand and hand in my paper to Marthe and she  puts it in a large folder of papers. She puts the folder in her bag and goes back to her computer.

 

“You’re free to go, if you’d like, Maggie.”

 

I nod and walk to Alex’s station, where she’s painting a fantastical portrait of a woman grounded into the earth. I tap her shoulder and she focuses her eyes on mine.

 

“Thanks for that, that one could have been my pass or fail” I whisper.

 

“No Problem," she says, a smile on her face.

 

I look to her painting as she adds a few strokes to pronounce the bark in a tree.

 

“This is amazing.”

 

She looks down, a bit flushed as she dips her brush into a color on her pallette. “Thank you.”

 

I smile and pull a chair towards me, I point at it. “Would you mind if I take a seat here? Or do you need to have a special pass for that?”

 

"Oh, no, go ahead. Even if you did,  I'd invite you as my plus-one."

 

“Aw, what did I do to deserve that?”

 

She shrugs coyly. "Maybe I have a soft spot for you."

 

I laugh quietly, not wanting to disturb Marthe, knowing I was probably on thin ice. I grab my lunch from my bag and eat as I watch Alex paint.

 

“Okay,” I look at the time, “I gotta get to my next class, but it was nice to spend time with you.”

"I'm glad you enjoyed me putting colors on stuff,” Alex says, cleaning her brush.

I laugh, and she does, too. "Would you mind if I stop by and visit you here sometimes?”

Alex hums. "I don’t see why not."

 

“Great.”

 

“Great.”

 

Our gazes lock for a few moments, and I look away only as Marthe calls my name.

“Maggie, before you go," she says, waving a hand to me so I’d come closer. I walk to her desk.

"Have you chosen  what piece you’re submitting to the photography contest?”

 

I nod.

 

“I’d love to take a look, would you mind?”

 

“Oh, no, sure. Here, hold on.” I give her a manilla envelope that has my print inside it.

 

Marthe opens the folder and slides the photo out of it. Her eyes arch, impressed.

 

At least, that’s what I hope.

 

 

 

 

"Wow, Maggie. It’s beautiful.”

 

I bounce on my toes, giddy.

 

"Can I see?" Alex asks from her desk.

 

Marthe passes me the photo and I pass it to Alex. She takes it carefully by the edges and angles it where there’s no light reflection.

“Wow, it’s… wow.”

 

I chuckle. “Thank you.”

 

Alex hands  the photo back to me and I slide it back into the manilla envelope. I turn to Marthe.

 

“Anything else I gotta know before it goes down?"

 

"Wear something nice," Marthe says, smiling.

 

I nod, shooting one last smile to her and Alex before heading out.

 

<<You can try to separate two magnets, but the pull between them will always have them collide.>>

 

\---

 

It’s not silent for long after Maggie leaves.

 

"You two are friends now."

 

Marthe’s words are more a statement than a question.

"Uhm, we’re more acquaintances than friends. We don’t see each other much. Just sometimes.”

 

She nods slowly, tapping at her keyboard, pensive.

 

"Is… that a problem? For you?"

 

Marthe immediately shakes her head. “"No, no. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

"I have a good feeling about her,” I say.

 

Marthe sighs, adjusting the glasses on her nose. "I hope your gut is right."

 

"I'm always right."

 

That makes us laugh.

 

\---

 

I study my reflection in the mirror of the school bathroom. There’s an assembly for the contest participants, and I decided on a simple flannel and dark jeans. To make myself a bit more presentable, I brush my hair into a tight, elegant ponytail.

 

I make my way to the auditorium and find a big crown waiting by the closed doors.

Marthe finds me in the crowd and approaches me. “Hi, Maggie. Here are your tickets.”

 

“Two?”

 

“Of course… Isn’t someone with you?” she asks.

 

"Uh no…"

 

She looks at me for a moment and gives me just the one ticket.

 

The doors to the auditorium open.

 

“Where’s James?”  

 

"Mechanic.”

“Any family?”

 

“My aunt’s working, so, no. I'm all by myself today.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that.” Marthe pats my shoulder sympathetically. “Well, I’ll be out there supporting you, just know.” She gives me a little smile and then proceeds to the auditorium.

 

I walk in after her, show an employee my ticket, and she directs me to my seat. As I sit down, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket.

 

I open the notification. It’s a Snap from Lucy, a photo with her giving the camera a thumbs up.

 

_You got this, Sawyer! <3_

 

I smile and lock my phone, looking up as they display the entries on the projector above the stage. I look at the empty chair beside me, a bit wistful, but breathe to allow the heavy feeling to roll off my shoulders.. A few minutes go by, and I see someone walking down the aisle in my direction.

 

"Is this seat taken?”

 

I turn my head and look up to see—

"Alex!" I say, jumping to my feet. “What are you doing here?"

"What do you think? That after everything I wouldn’t come to support you?”

 

I feign deep thought, a hand under my chin. "Well…”

 

" _Well_ ,” she says, “You were wrong.”

 

I shrug. "All you’re gonna witness is me having my ass glued to a chair. There’s no way I’m getting anything.”

 

Alex clicks her tongue and places her hands on my shoulders. She gives them a light squeeze.

 

“Maggie, no matter what happens, just know that you  _are_ talented. Okay? Even if  _they_ don’t like them, I promise you, there will be  _so many_ people who will.”

 

“Okay.” I nod, eyes flitting between hers. “Okay.”

 

We look up to the stage, and fifteen minutes of names and  slides pass by in what feels like just a few. A woman walks to the stage and stands behind the podium. She adjusts her mic and waits until the audience has quieted.

 

"So, now, the winners!” she says.

 

I hold my breath.

 

"M’gann M'orzz!"

 

I exhale and I politely clap along with the audience, I time my breathing to slow the frantic beats of my heart.

 

The claps fade to a stop.

"Stacey Robbins!"

 

One place left.

 

I didn’t have much hope, but there was still a small part of me that believed I might have a chance.

 

The claps in the auditorium make it hard for me to focus. Dazed, I look to the floor, hiding my face from Alex, sure I’d cry.

 

_I’m so stupid, I should’ve never—_

 

I feel something graze my arm and I peek over to the source.

 

Alex is lightly tracing my side gently, down my forearm, my wrist…

 

And her fingers coax my hand open, and she entwines her fingers with mine. I lift my head and allow my hair to fall back from my face, I smile and she smiles back to me.

My mind drifts from the competition, and everything sounds like it’s been plunged underwater. We float close to each other and our foreheads touch. I close my eyes and I try to breath, both overwhelmed from the intimacy of this moment and terrified of the outcome of this competition.

 

And from far away: "Maggie Sawyer!"

 

My eye open and I shoot away from her, my hands holding her at arm’s length..

 

I look to the stage, to Alex, to the stage, and then back to Alex.

"Did she just say my name!?"

 

"Yes,” Alex laughs. She shoves me up from my seat and I look down at her incredulously. “Get up there!”

 

I smooth out my clothing and sidle between the seats in front of me and the knees of the people in our row all the way out to the aisle. I walk—maybe a little to fast to be proper—and walk up the stairs to the stage. I shake the announcer’s hand and accept the envelope and the small trophy she offers me. I look out to the crowd and hear them clapping, and I spot Alex, a wide smile on her face. She gives me a thumbs up, which makes me laugh.

 

I say thank you and make my way back to my seat. I pass by Marthe, who pulls me to her with a light touch.

 

“Congratulations, ” she says, giving me a quick hug.

 

“Thank you.”

 

The announcer tells everyone to file outside and I lose Alex in the crowd.

 

When I’m out of the auditorium, I stand on my tiptoes and look around.

 

The only thing I wanted was to get to Alex.

 

The only person who showed up for me.

 

As the crowd slowly disperses, I spot her in the middle of the room. She turns to me just as I see her and she smiles, and I smile back at her. I make a full sprint towards her and wrap her in my arms.

 

She laughs, hugging me tight against her so we wouldn’t topple over. She runs a hand up and down my back, and we don’t let go of eachother, even as we calm.

 

“I’m so happy for you,” she says, breath on my shoulder.

 

“Thank you for coming, Alex." I hug her tightly.

 

"Of course. Always."

 

"Alex.” We turn at Kara’s voice, stepping back in unison. “What are you doing here?"

“I was about to ask you the same thing.”

 

"Lena helped the staff organize all this. I thought I’d volunteer to help, too.”

 

“I’m here to encourage Maggie.”

 

“Oh, yes! Congratulations on the wine!" Kara exclaims.

 

"Thanks, Little Danvers. It was third place, but...” I shrug. “A win’s a win. I’m proud of myself.”

 

Kara smiles at me and she jolts, pulling out her phone. "I gotta get back backstage," she looks at something behind her, and turns back to us." See you at home, Alex! Congrats again, Maggie!" She waves and makes her way to wherever she’s going.

 

I turn to Alex, and she turns to me, mouth open to say something, but—

 

"Can you stay?” I ask. “I know we're not—I mean, we’re—"

 

Alex interrupts my rambling.

 

“I would love to.”

 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

We talk about the other photos that were entered in the competition, and after a few minutes, Kara finds us. Somehow, she leads us outside and we all decide to turn in for the night.

"Lena’s dropping me off at the house, you wanna come with us?” Kara asks Alex.

"Yeah, if she doesn’t mind. I mean, we’re going to the same place.”

 

Lena walks up. "I definitely don’t mind."

 

Alex turns at me. “How are you getting home tonight?”

 

"Um, good question!”

 

“Do you live far?” Lena asks.

 

I shake my head. “No, it’s about 10-15 minutes in a car.”

“I can drive you."

“You wouldn't mind?”

"You won a prize, you deserve to be driven around like a princess,” Lena jokes.

I laugh and the group is led to Lena’s car, parked at the edge of the lot.

 

A fricken’  _Audi._

 

God _damn_ , it was  _beautiful_.

 

"You like?" Lena asks.

 

"Yes. Oh my god, I wish I had the money for one of these.”

 

Alex runs her hands over the seats, admiring the feel of them. “Same.”

 

“Ah,  women with taste," Lena says.

 

We get into the car and since I’m the first one Lena’s decided to drop off, I get the front passengers seat. We get to my house in no less than five minutes and I get out the car once she’s stopped.

 

"Thank you so much, Lena."

"You’re very welcome. Congrats again."

 

“Thanks. See you around?” I say, and she nods.

“Bye, Sawyer," Alex says, waving a hand out the window.

 

"Bye Danvers.” I wave to to Alex and then Kara. “Little Danvers.”

 

“Little?” She squeaks, and I burst into laughter. I hear Alex laugh along with me.

 

“I’m taking you like it?”

 

She squints her eyes at me and smirks mischievously. "I'll take it,  _Little_ Maggie."

“ Alright, alright. I see how it is,” I joke. “Fine.”

 

They laugh and I wave one more time before they speed off. When I get to the apartment, I find my aunt sitting at the kitchen table. I look at the time.

 

 _10:53_.

 

I walk in the strait enter home as my aunt waited in the counter.

"Aren’t you tired?"

 

"I couldn’t sleep, and I wanted to see you. How was it?"

“I won third place.”

 

"Oh, sweetie, that’s great I knew you could do it.”

 

"Yeah, look!"

 

I hand her the trophy and she admires it in her hands, traces the plaque with my name.

“This is very cute. Amazing, Maggie,” Aunt Rosa says, handing the trophy back to me. “I’m sorry I couldn’t go, I wish I was there to support you, hon."

I shake my head, not wanting to dwell on it. "Oh, no, it’s okay. I understand. Anyways, my friend—ah—Alex was there.”

 

"Oh, so she’s your friend now?"

 

Bashful, I just shrug. "I guess yeah.”

 

Aunt Rosa smiles, eyes crinkling at the edges. "She sounds like a wonderful person, that girl.”

 

I remember the way Alex held my hand just before they had called my name. Remember how our breaths warmed the air between us.

 

I stroke the metal design of the trophy in my hands. Softly.

 

“She is,” I whisper.

 

Aunt Rosa steps close and hugs me to her side, arm around my shoulder.

 

\---

 

"Kara, what are you hiding?”

 

“How did you—? I’m not hiding anything!”

 

“I can see it all over your face.”

 

" But—okay, fine"

 

“Alright, spill.”

 

"So, I’m going to Lena’s next week. And sleeping over. At her house.”

 

"Okay. Is... that it?"

 

"Well, we’re having dinner together, too.”

 

"Okay... and?"

 

"Okay and come!"

 

" No, she’s  _your_  friend. Plus, I’m going to be busy, I have to help Maggie.”

 

" _Invite_  Maggie, then, now that she’s your friend."

 

"Maggie wouldn’t want to do that.”

 

“Wanna bet?”

 

“You know how I feel about bets. Plus, I’m not going to take my chances with you, with your luck.”

 

"Say yes! Please, please, please?"

 

"Okay, fine! Fine!"

 

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you!"

 

I roll my eyes and then feel Kara peck my cheek.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Love you too.”

 

\---

 

EPIC POP | ''Wicked Game'' by Ursine Vulpine [feat. Annaca]

 

Your world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire make foolish people do

I never dreamed that I meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I lose somebody like you

No, I don't wanna fall in love

No, I don't wanna fall in love With you

What a wicked game to play

To make me feel this way

What a wicked thing to do

To let me dream on you

What a wicked thing to say

You never felt this way

What a wicked thing to do

To make dream on you!

I don't wanna fall in love

No, I don't wanna fall in love

With you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wdkfejbsdkufewbyg! That’s all I can say. Thanks for reading!


	13. You Own Me A Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins. I can’t get you off my mind, even when I try to. All I can think about is you. I know where this is going, all the meetings are going to lead to one thing: us getting closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Maggie are going to dinner? With each other? Am I yelling? Maybe I am… Then again, maybe it's not what we think it is... Or maybe it is... ;)

\- !2 September 2019-

 

-Wednesday-

 

Lucy turned the radio up, blasting Cheap Thrills in her room, and started dancing around the room as if we didn’t have somewhere to be.

 

She’s got a hairbrush in her hand, treating it like a microphone. "Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight—I love cheap thrills!" Lucy shouts, singing along with the radio.

 

The usual.

 

"Come on, Maggie, join me!” she says, trying to tug me up from my place on her mattress.

 

I resist her pull. "You’re taking forever," I whine.

 

"She’s right, we’re late," James says, voice reverberating through the door.

 

"Okay, fine, fine. I'll hurry!"

 

"Fiiiinally!" I say, flopping back on the bed.

 

James heaves a big sigh and leaves the bedroom, I sit on Lucy’s bed and grab my phone from my pocket, pulling up Candy Crush to go a few rounds.

 

After that, I let my phone fall to my chest and fan my arms out to my sides. Just as I’m contemplating taking a nap, I hear Lucy stumble out of the bathroom.

 

"Okay, I’m ready! Let's blow this popsicle stand!" Lucy says, hopping on one leg while she pulls a heel on.

 

James practically falls out of his chair in haste to leave. He throws on his coat and takes the keys from the hook near the door.

 

“If you’re not at the door in five seconds, I’m leaving the both of you!” James jokes.

 

I speed walk towards the front door, dragging Lucy along with me.

 

When we get into the car, the car is moving is seconds. I see Lucy pull the visor down and fix her makeup with help from the mirror. I turn to James.

 

"Hey, James, we going to your place after?” I ask.

 

“Yeah, sure, if you’re still feeling it later.”

 

"I still can't believe you can afford a car and an apartment by yourself. Especially with these bills piling up." Lucy says, brushing her hair out of her face.

 

"Well, it would be a different story if you didn’t binge on makeup and sushi.”

 

Lucy turns to James, her mouth agape.

 

"Excuse me, but sushi is life!"

 

James and I let out loose laughs, amused at Lucy’s antics. A few minutes later, the radio is on, James is tapping his fingers on the wheel to the beat, and Lucy’s turned to me, blabbing about a girl she’s excited for me to meet.

 

"So, her name’s Leila. She’s wonderful, just wait ‘til you see her.”

 

I purse my lips in a feeble smirk, already knowing how it’ll turn out.

 

\---

 

James cuts the engine and we get out of the car. Since Lucy begins stumbling like a fawn who’s learning how to use its legs, James and I support her at her sides, laughing, and once we’re successfully up the steps, James gives the door a few hard knocks.

 

In seconds, the door is pulled open by a tall man, a bit disheveled and reeking of alcohol. Recognition dawns on his face as he looks at Lucy. He sidesteps the door and waves us in.

 

"Lucy, you came! With friends! Come on in, guys!”

 

We file in and Zak gives our hands a quick and firm handshake right at the door.

 

"I'm Zak, your host. James and Maggie, I assume? I’ve heard a lot about you two, nice to meet you in person.”

 

"All good things, I hope,” James says, adjusting his jacket.

 

"The dyke,” he says, pointing to me. He points to James, adding, “And tall-man, here.”

 

"Very diverse," James says awkwardly.

 

I snort, unsure if I should laugh or be offended by the comment.

 

Was that all Lucy said to sum me up? Inadequate.

 

Lucy puts a hand around my shoulders and walks me to a large group of people, she holds out a hand and raises her voice.

 

"Maggie, everyone, everyone, Maggie."

 

I wave my hand and they do the same. Then, Lucy suddenly takes my arm and leads me to the kitchen, which is populated by a good group of around ten people. She stops in front of a blonde woman leaning on the kitchen island.

 

"Maggie, this is Leila, the girl I told you about."

 

Leila waves her fingers at me. "Hey. I’ve heard a lot about you,” she says.

 

I smile politely and offer my hand, which she shakes confidently.

 

"And Lucy’s told me a lot about you,” I say, laughing a bit shyly. I look to Lucy, who gives me a sly smile and backs away, to give us space to talk alone most likely. And flirt around.

 

I turn back to Leila and give her an awkward grin.

 

\---

 

Leila leaves momentarily to go to the bathroom, which leaves me to myself in the kitchen. While she’s gone, I take a breath, craning my neck to gaze at the ceiling. My mind wanders to Alex, and my hand goes to my phone in my pocket.

 

I wanted to talk to her, but would I be interrupting something? Would it be too out of the blue?

 

I look down and lift my cell to my chest. I scroll through my contacts until I find her name. I text her.

 

_Should I wear something nice?_

 

I lock my phone, not wanting to watch the clock tick as I wait for her answer. It was a bit late anyway, so I didn’t really expect Alex to answer right away.

 

Just as I was feeling deflated I wouldn’t hear from her, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. With high hopes it was a certain redhead, I opened my messages.

 

And it was her!

 

_You’d look nice in anything :)_

 

I smile shyly at her response.

 

 _What are_ youuu _going to wear?_

 

“Why are you smiling like that?" Lucy asks from behind me, making me jump a little.

 

I quickly lock my phone and place my hands on the counter.

 

Lucy takes a sip of her Smirnoff and pokes at my cheek playfully.

 

"Uh, a girl," I say, knowing this would get her off my back faster than the truth would.

 

Lucy swats my arm and winks.

 

"Wow, Maggie. Shuffling two girls at one? That’s risky.”

 

I raise an eyebrow. “Me and Leila just met.”

 

Lucy raises a finger to retort, but before she can, a man inserts himself between us and looks Lucy up and down.

 

“Wanna dance?”

 

Lucy leans over to her right until she can see me past him. She holds us a finger. “Excuse me, the dance floor is calling my name,” she says, smirking at the guy and leaving hand in hand with him.

 

As Lucy gets pulled into the crowd, I take my phone and unlock it, glancing around me before I open my messages.

 

_I don't know, why?_

 

_So we could match ;)_

 

_I’ll probably wear something nerdy,_

_I don’t think you’d be able to bare it X)_

 

_Don’t underestimate me!_

 

_Okay okay, I don't know really x)_

 

_Ah, it’s okay. Sleep on it._

_What are you doing up late?_

 

_I watched a movie at home with Kara._

_You know how much of a bad influence she is lol_

 

I laugh quietly. Seeing more dots pop up on the screen, I wait for her next message.

 

_What about you?_

 

_Party_

 

_Ohhh, nice_

 

_Yeah, I guess. It’s a bit boring though._

 

_Ah, that sucks..._

 

_Nah, it’s fine. I’ll live._

 

_Aw, alright._

_Anyway, it’s getting late,_

_I’m gonna head to bed._

_Goodnight, if you ever go to sleep lol_

 

_Goodnight :)_

“Hey, I'm back," Leila says, diverting my attention away from my phone. I lock it and put it into my pocket.

 

“Hey..."

 

She looks at me curiously, closing in with small steps. "What are you smiling at?" she teases.

 

I wipe the smile from my face and shrug it off. "Nothing, stupid meme,” I say. I point to the buffet area. “Hungry?”

 

I don’t wait for her answer to start making my way over, but I do hear a faint “yeah” from behind me that I assume come from Leila.

 

\---

 

I breathe a sigh of relief, finally putting my pencil down on my stack of homework and flapping my textbook close. I slump back in the chair and roll it over to my open door. I peek passed the door-frame, looking in the direction of Kara’s room.

 

"Kara!" I shout.

 

"What!?"

 

"Do you wanna watch a movie!?”

 

I see her peek her head out of her room, a large grin on her face.

 

“Yes! I was actually just going to ask you! Meet you downstairs?”

 

“‘Kay!”

 

I roll my chair back to my desk and quickly change into my pajamas. After shutting my light off, I skip down the stairs, finding Kara waiting by the microwave for the popcorn. I grab the snacks and set them on the coffee table, and a few seconds after I hear beeping, Kara runs into the living room and plops on the couch. I sit beside her and pop a few pieces of popcorn into my mouth while Kara starts browsing Netflix.

 

Suddenly—“What can I say except you're welcome!” Kara sings as she scrolls passed Moana.  
I take over after that when she starts giggling. I keep scrolling down to the family section, find Home, a cute movie about an alien and an orphan, and press play.

 

\---

 _Turn your face towards the sun_  
_Let the shadows fall behind you_  
_Don't look back just carry on_  
_And the shadows will never find you_  
_Lost in the rock and roll_  
_Got lost in a promise of a love I never know_  
_Shadows chase me far from home_  
_I remember when my heart was filled with gold and you know_  
_I've been burned you've seen me lose control_  
_It's not worth my soul_  
_Lost my faith and trust you and I know gold don't turn rust_  
_I still swear that we can reign like the kings and queen of better yesterdays_  
_We're gonna go where you gonna run to_  
_When you get to the edge of the night it's time you face the sky_

_\---_

 

I stuff a bunch of popcorn into my mouth and pass the bowl to Kara. As I’m chewing, my phone buzzes on the night table. I snatch it up to check my notifications, hoping it was Maggie.

 

It was. And I look to Kara, who’s looking at me with an inquisitive face and a few pieces of popcorn in her mouth. I answer her question before she can even ask it.

 

"It's Maggie."

 

"Oh, we can pause the movie if you want.”

 

I shake my head, “No, no, it's fine. I’ll just answer her real quick, it’ll take two seconds.” Kara nods and turns her gaze back to the movie.

 

I feel Kara’s eyes burning holes into the back of my head as I text Maggie back. An unconscious smile graces my lips, and I hear Kara shift beside me.

 

“What’s she saying that’s got you smiling like that?” She says, a teasing, genuinely curious lilt to her voice.

 

I shrug, blushing. "She just said something funny.”

 

“Okay," she says, squinting her eyes at me, analyzing.

 

I lock my phone and set it on the side beside me.

 

There was a movie to finish.

 

...

 

As the credits begin rolling, I stretch my arms high above my head. With a crack, I sigh and flop back into the couch. "I think I’m going to head to bed, I’m tired.”

 

“Okay, I’ll do the same. I’m exhausted.”

 

I walk upstairs, brush my teeth and finish my night routine before heading to bed in my pajamas. I slide under the comforter and take my phone, looking back at the last few texts Maggie sent. I lock my phone, leaving my room pitch black.

 

I hear the door creak and it opens a crack, letting a small ray of light stretch across my floor.

 

“How’d your talk with Maggie go?”

 

“Fine. Good. It went good.”

 

“Okay.” Silence, and then, “Goodnight, Alex.”

 

“Night, Kara.”

 

The door clicks shut and I roll over, reaching under my pillow for Kiwi, who I pull close and embrace against my chest.

 

\---

 

-Tuesday-

 

I’m at my locker when I hear footsteps closing in on me. I turn my head around curiously.

 

Seeing it’s Lucy, I smile in greeting. “Hey, Lucy. Why are you running? See your teacher? Nerd trying to seduce you?" I joke.

 

“No, I was just trying to catch you before your next class!”

 

I quirk an eyebrow. “Catch me for what?”

 

“I wanted you to accompany me to a Les-Bi lunch!”

 

"And by that… do you mean go out for sushi?" I ask.

 

“Of course! What else would I mean? Let's go!” Lucy says, latching onto my arm enthusiastically.

 

I stand my ground, halting her run, and shake my arm out of her grip. "Uh—I can't," I say, crossing my arms loosely on my chest.

 

Lucy sighs harshly and crosses her arms. "Can’t you just forget the math shit for once? Missing one meeting with Alex isn’t going to make you fail!”

 

"Actually, we don’t have a meeting today,” I say, taking a small step back as she goes to grab me again.

 

"Okay, then, great! What’s the holdup?”

 

"I can’t go. Alex… she invited me out for dinner.”

 

Lucy just looks at me dumbly. “She invited you out. For dinner."

 

I nod.

 

Lucy’s eyes bug out of her head. “She asked you out on a date?" she asks, voice filled with surprise.

 

"No!” I say, but then hesitate as I think about it. “I mean, I don't think it's a date. Her sister her friend’s gonna be there.”

 

Lucy jerks her head back. "Um, okay. Easy choice then, isn’t it? Fabulous free sushi lunch with your favorite bi. Or a terrible time with a bunch of losers?”

 

I gawk as Lucy nonchalantly adjusts the strap of her purse on her shoulder.

 

I roll my eyes at her comment.

 

“Um…”

 

If I choose Alex, Lucy’s going to get pissy. But even if I do like Lucy—usually, at least—dinner with Alex sounded way more appealing. Plus, I don’t get to spend much personal time with Alex.

 

“Ugh, Maggie! Come on, we don’t have much time before your next class!”

 

I open my mouth to answer, but then, I see Alex further down the hall. I perk my head to the side and wave as our eyes lock, I wave.

 

Alex stops next to me. “Hey.” She turns to Lucy, meets her fiery gaze and curls into herself a bit. “Did I… interrupt something?” Alex asks, rubbing her arm.

 

Lucy looks at Alex, and I practically see her steaming out the ears.

 

"No, no. I'm coming with you, just give me a second, okay?" I say, shutting my locker.

 

Alex smiles, and with a quick nod, she steps away to give us some privacy.

 

"Don’t worry, we have the whole week to find some time for sushi," I say, a hand on Lucy’s arm.

 

I start walking toward Alex, and I can feel Lucy burning holes into the back of my head.

 

I knew she’d be mad, but she has to get used to this.

 

I wasn’t going to stop spending time with Alex any time soon.

 

\---

 

Alex leads me to the door that leads outside, where Lena and Kara are waiting for us. From afar, I can see they’re in a deep conversation. As Alex and I approach them, they turn to us.

 

"Here we go, friends," Lena says, opening and holding the door for us. Kara, Alex, and I pass through and Lena lets the door fall shut behind her once we’re all outside. We walk across the student lot to get to her car, weaving through the cars populating it. I bounce on my toes, waiting for the doors to unlock. I hear a click, and Kara enters the passenger's side while Alex and I get into the back.

 

Lena drives us to the closest place that’s still serving breakfast. While Lena’s got her eyes on the road, Kara turns up the radio and sings along to some of the older Top 40s.

 

When we arrive at the diner, one I used to go to before I started working at Sunshine, Lena pulls into the first parking space she finds. We exit and I look around as we enter. It’s a small place. It advertised breakfast more than anything else, and the air smells delicious.

 

The host greets us, and asks, “How many?”

 

"How many?"

 

"Four," Lena answers.

 

There’s a short wait, so we sit down on a small couch near the host stand. After ten quick minutes of conversation, the host curls a finger, asking us to follow her, and she seats us at a booth with two chairs across from it. And and I sit on the booth side and Kara and Lena across from us. The host hands us the menu and we look over it.

 

Lena reminds us of one thing.

 

“We’re gonna have to share our plates. they give us, like, ten servings of food. Which is good an all, but it costs an arm and a leg for each, so...”

 

My eyes skim the menu for something good, but nothing seems interesting at first glance. When I look up, Lena’s not looking at anything. She must be a usual here.

 

“Anything catch your eye?" I ask Lena.

 

"An omelet with the side of homefries looks good. Wanna share with me, Kara?"

 

"Yeah, looks good!"

 

"Oh my god, chocolate waffle and whipped cream," Alex says, pointing at a plate on the menu.

 

Instead of looking at my own menu to see what she’s so ecstatic, I lean over to look at Alex’s, quickly closing my menu and putting it at the center of the table

 

"Kara, share the waffles with me!"

 

"I’m already sharing with Lena. You could share with Maggie?”

 

I turn to Alex and she turns to me, a grin on her face.

 

“Would you like to share a delicious and nutritious waffle meal with me?”

 

"I absolutely would, Danvers," I reply, smiling softly.

 

The waitress must have been watching our group because she wastes no time coming over after we put the menus down.

 

"And what would you ladies like to order?” the waitress asks. I look up as Lena’s ordering and… I recognize her.

 

Darla.

 

One night stand Darla. One night stand, never again Darla.

 

Shit, what an amazing day to be here.

 

She turns to me.

 

"And you—?" Darla stops mid-sentence, thunder in her eyes as she looks at me.

 

“Oh, we’re together,” Alex says, referring to the plate we’re ordering.

 

"Oh, are you?"

 

She says it with a sharp lilt in her tone, but either Alex doesn’t notice or chooses to ignore it.

 

"Yeah, we’re gonna get the chocolate mousse pancakes," Alex says.

 

Darla scribbles the order down on her notepad. We order our drinks as well, and with a sigh, Darla leaves, disappearing behind a door in the restaurant.

 

"So,” Lena says, “Friday night. There’s gonna be a meteor shower."

 

"Cool!” Kara turns to Alex. “Did you know about that?"

 

Alex nods a bit enthusiastically. "Yeah! I was going to tell you, but it never really came up,” she says, “Now you know, though!”

 

Kara nudges Lena’s arm with her elbow, smiling. “We can’t miss it. We can watch it at my place?" she offers.

 

Lena nods. “That’d be cool, yeah!”

 

Darla comes back momentarily to give us our drinks and leave a basket of bread and butter in the center of the table as well.

 

Alex and Kara maul the basket while Lena and I sit back and take sips of our drinks. Mouths full, the Danvers sisters start a conversation about astronomy that Lena occasionally chimes in

on.

 

Alex snatches another breadstick to dig in to, and as she’s chewing, she sends an awkward grin my way. At her stuffed cheeks, I start cackling.

 

“You know that the bread basket isn’t your breakfast plate, right?”

 

Alex stops chewing, a blush blooming on her face.

 

I giggle, lightly smacking her arm. “I’m teasing you, Alex.”

 

She smiles, close-mouthed, and exaggeratingly places the breadstick back in the basket, flicking her fingers to get the crumbs off them. After a beat, we both giggle at her playful performance.

 

In what felt like minutes, Darla comes back with our meals. At the sight of our plate, Alex’s eyes widen as if she’s just stumbled upon a block of gold. Darla had just barely placed it on the table before Alex started digging into it with her fork.

 

When she takes a bite, her eyes roll up and she sways her head. She points at it, encouraging me to take a bite to.

 

I cut a corner of the waffle and pierce it with my fork, bringing it to my mouth slowly. Alex watches as I chew, and finally smiles when I start nodding.

 

“Damn, that is good.”

 

I cut another piece.

 

"Thank you for the invitation, Lena. This was fun,” Alex says. Then, “And delicious.” Alex pats her stomach, and I laugh, turning to Lena.

 

"Alex ’s right. This was nice, thank you," I reiterate.

 

"You are very welcome, my treat."

 

Alex scoops the last piece of waffle into her mouth, and I laugh at her puffed cheeks.

 

Alex covers her mouth before speaking. "I think I ate more than the half of that, sorry for being a hog," she says.

 

I shake my head. "It's fine, I’m full with what I had.”

 

When we let her know, Darla throws the bill on the table and the four of us split it and leave a tip. We get up and head for the door, the others thanking Darla while I stand back with a pursed-lipped smile. Alex, Lena, and Kara walk ahead of me, and I follow.

 

As I pass Darla, she whispers. "You move on quick.”

 

I glance behind me to see her sour expression and quickly look ahead. Alex is waiting for me at the door. I smile at her and speed walk over until I’m next to her. She holds the door open for me.

 

"Is everything okay?” she asks.

 

"Yeah, I’m okay."

 

Alex smiles at me. “Okay." I nudge her side, and she bounces back, doing the same.

 

Just after we step foot outside, Alex grabs my arm gently, halting both of us as Lucy and Kara walk to the car.

 

"Can I talk to you for a sec?"

 

"Yeah, what’s up?"

 

"Do you want to come over to watch the meteor shower coming up?”

 

"Friday night, you mean?"

 

"Yeah. You can come to my house and we have a sleeping bag you can use there. I mean, not that you have to sleep over. But we’re gonna be outside. On the floor. And you can have it so you can be comfortable with me,” Alex says, tumbling over her words and playing with her fingers.

 

I rest a hand on her arm, stopping her from saying more. “I would love to.”

 

At my answer, she perks up, bouncing on her toes and smiling, all teeth.

 

“You know, I’ve never seen the stars with a telescope before,” I say, pulling my hoodie over my head. The wind has picked up since the last time we were outside.

 

“I’ll teach you,” Alex says, smiling, and eyes twinkling.

 

I smile, and we stare at each other, lost in each other's eyes for a moment.

 

"Girls, we don't have all day!" Lena hollers, knocking at the car door.

 

We glance over to Lena, then back to each other, suddenly bursting into laughter. After a few more impatient calls from Lena, Alex and I rush over to the car and hop into the back.

 

Lena drives us all back to campus, arriving just five minutes before our next classes started. We get out of the car and walk in the building together. Lena and Kara go ahead of us, and I turn to Alex before pushing the door open.

 

"See you Friday?"

 

"You mean Thursday?"

 

Oh, right! Thursday too!”

 

"See you around, Danvers!" I say. I wave and head to my next class, a smile on my face.

 

What a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did Alex know that Maggie likes the stars? Hm, I think some of the fic is missing.
> 
> Well, I am an evil person. You’re just gonna have to wait until the next chapter to find out...


	14. I'm Just Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: We've come to the point where our worlds can mesh. It's not just us at school and is at home now. It's just… us.
> 
>  
> 
> You discovered who I truly am. It was an accident, but I'm glad that you know. You're different.
> 
>  
> 
> I trust you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally time for Maggie's secret to be revealed.

-13 september 2018-

-Thursday-

I walked until my locker as I think about everything and nothing. I spot Kara waiting for me, munching on a Reese's Cup. I start speed walking up to her, like a dog and a bone, a smile on my face.

"Care to share, my lovely sister?" I say, hands cupped at my chest.

"Sure," Kara says, taking a Reese's cup out of her package and hovering it in the air for me to take. Just as I begin wrapping my fingers around it, she pulls it back.

"Hey!" I shout.

"Did you invite Maggie out?"

"Um, no? Not yet. Why?"

Kara squints her eyes and brings the pack close to her chest. "Then no Reese's for you."

My mouth drops.

"What? This is blackmail!"

"Is not."

"Kara! You _know_ how much I like Reese's," I whine. A second later, I glare at her. "I hate you..."

Kara laughs, swings her bag over her shoulder and pockets the candy. "And I love you, but I gotta go. I'll see you at home." Kara takes a couple steps back and smiles at me. "Maybe I'll give you the rest then."

With that, she turns and walks away.

I open my locker and gather my math stuff to join Maggie in the library.

When I get there, Maggie's already seated at a far table. As I approach her, she raises her head to look at me, probably hearing my quick footsteps. The ends of her lips quirk up in a small smile, and I return it in kind. She pulls her bag over her shoulders and follows me as I try to find an empty room to study in.

We find one after a couple tries in and we quickly unpack at the table and take our seats.

\---

As Maggie works on an exercise, I look through my agenda to see if I had any work to do for the next couple of days. Maggie interrupts my deep search.

"Is this good?" she asks.

When I look over, she's sliding her worksheet to me.

I look over it quickly but carefully. I nod my head as I go along.

"Yeah, you got it."

She was now on the next number, which, by the look on her face, I could tell she was struggling with it a bit.

It was an expression I knew well, that I started to recognize over time. There was a slight frown to her brows, and she was chewing on the top of her pencil.

Knowing she wouldn't ask me for help, I take a pencil and lean over. She looks up and passes the paper to me when I reach a hand out.

I work out the problem with her, explaining as I go. When I finish, she starts the next question, following the steps as truly as she can.

She tries again, and I check it over, but it's not right.

She exhales sharply through her nose, understandably frustrated.

Finally, she puts her pencil down.

"I'm… going to save this for later."

"Yeah, take a break," I say, absentmindedly twirling my pencil with my fingers.

"Okay, I'll text you if I need anything."

I barely hear her, mind wandering.

Maggie's voice snaps me out of my reverie.

"You okay? You look… you just tensed up suddenly," Maggie says, voice tinged with worry.

"Yeah! Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. I got … lost in thought for a second."

She nods, whispering a quiet _Okay_.

Carefully, she gathers her things and starts packing them in her bag.

I run a hand through my hair nervously and quickly gather my courage in my chest.

"Hey, Maggie!" I call, and she turns around. "I'm can't be here Tuesday, I'm going to dinner with Kara and Lena," I finish, looking at her apologetically.

Maggie looks at me, shrugging.

"Okay, we can do everything on Thursday."

"Yeah."

She turns.

I take a breath.

She was going to leave.

_This is my only chance._

"I-um… Would you… Would you like to come?"

She zips her bag and looks at me. "Is that an invitation?"

I nod, smiling.

"See you Tuesday," she says, sliding her hand down my back as she passes me to leave the library.

"See you Tuesday," I whisper.

_I did it._

\---

I take the bus back home alone. Once I'm there, I go up the stairs and peek in Kara's room to make sure she got home safe without me. I see her doing some homework on her bed.

Mom's not around, so I assume she's closed in her office since supper's done. I serve myself a plate of chicken alfredo she made and practically swallow the whole plate in minutes.

I sit on the couch next to Kara, who must've finished her homework recently. She's flipping through the channels on the TV.

"What are you watching?" I ask, leaning close to the TV screen, seeing if I could figure it out myself.

"I dunno, nothing interesting. You have something in mind?"

"Do you really want to watch something?"

"Sure. Movie?" She says tossing the controller onto the night table.

"Yeah, sounds good to me."

Kara opens Netflix and puts on Finding Dory, and I get settled on the couch as the movie starts.

"How's Tuesday gonna work ?" I ask her, breaking the silence.

Kara blinks herself out of her TV trance but doesn't turn to me when she speaks. "After your class, find me in the cafeteria. Then, I'll walk you to Lena's car, and from there, she'll drive us."

"Okay, nice. I was thinking we would have to walk."

"Oh, no! We'd never make it."

She pulls the duvet over herself and I do the same with mine.

"I invited Maggie," I say.

"You did? What did she say?"

"She said yes," I say, a small smile on my face.

"That's great!" Kara exclaims, bouncing on her toes, "You see? I was positive she'd come. I'm proud of you."

I grin as Kara hands me— _new—_ bag of _Reese's_.

Kara lays her head on my shoulder as I bring my hand up to play with her hair.

I feel like this week is going to be a good one.

...

When I get back to my room, I pull my phone from it's charger. I see that I have a notification from an hour ago.

Maggie.

_I can't do these impossible equations._

_If you want, I can come over_

_To your place tomorrow to_

_help you out?_

_Yeah, let me ask my aunt real quick...bn_

I wait a minute before dots pop up on the screen again.

_She said okay!_

_Nice :) When do you finish?_

_At 12_

_I'm finished at 2, do you mind waiting for me?_

_Yeah, sure. I'll do some homework while I wait._

_Okay cool, where are you going to be?_

_I'll be in the library_

Sounds good, see you tomorrow!

\---

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

I take my phone from my pocket and unlock it.

It's a text from Lucy.

_So for Tuesday just join us at the cafeteria after your class :)_

I lock my phone, and a bit stubborn, I take another shot at an equation. After a few more tries and fails, I give up.

_How many points you think they'll knock off if I just skip ONE?_

_Not a lot I guess. But we could meet each_

_other at your place so I can help._

_Replace Tuesday._

I crawl off my bed and jog to the living room, peeking in to see my aunt watching TV.

"Can I invite a friend over tomorrow?

"Given that you asked, I'm assuming Lucy's not coming over. Does this friend have a name?" she teases.

"Yeah, it's... It's Alex."

Rosa turns her head away from the TV and cracks a small smile. "Of course, whenever she wants. Do she have any allergies?"

"I don't think so, but I'll ask."

"Okay, let me know then."

"Okay, thank you!"

"You're welcome, hon."

I jog back to my room and crawl on the bed over to my phone.

_Are you still coming over? Do you have any allergies?_

_Yeah, I'm allergic to people who don't do their homework._

_I'm going to take that as a no lol_

_Yeah XD. Am I meeting you at my locker tomorrow?_

_Yeah, sounds good. See you then!_

\---

I hop in the jeep, and Lucy and James are in the front. I lean in between their two seats.

"I'm gonna bring a friend tonight, is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, no probs," James answers.

"Who's your date?" Lucy asks, and I shake my head.

"It's not what you think, Luce."

" _Sure, Jan._ "

I sigh, "It's Alex."

A silence falls between us, and I feel it thicken and I feel two pairs of eyes burning holes into my head. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

"Ex _cuse_ me? Did I hear you right?" Lucy says, disbelief on her face.

"Look, she's helping me study for my math class. What am I gonna do, Lucy?"

"You know what? This is actually perfect."

I make a face at her, squinting. "It's… perfect?"

"Yeah! Make out with her tonight and it's over!"

"I'm not doing that."

"Why not?—Oh! The math shit, right."

I don't respond. Just bite my tongue and lower my gaze to the floor.

"She's… a friend. you said? What?"

I tense up.

_Shit._

"I d-didn't want to tell you it was her. Wouldn't matter… I was just being general you know?"

"Oh, alright, alright."

I nod dumbly. "Well, given how you react every time I mention her _name_ , I didn't want to bring her up."

I cross my arms and Lucy did the same.

"Are you coming tonight, or not? I want to know if we wait up for you."

"Yeah. I'll be finally sitting up front," I say. I smile, chuckling a bit.

_She'll never change._

\---

I plop the things I need for the weekend in my bag. Then, I walk to Alex's locker, and I see her packing her stuff up, too.

Suddenly, before I can say or do anything, she whips around and jumps in fright at my proximity.

"Oh, my god" Alex squeaks, hand over her heart. "I didn't hear you!"

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you."

Alex blows out a breath and waves a hand at me, shaking her head. "No, I'm fine. I'm okay." A beat passes as she catches her breath.

"Ready to go?" I ask her.

"Yeah."

"Alright, follow me." I turn and lead her outside, and we wait for James to pull up.

"What are we waiting for?" Alex asks.

"My friend, James. He drives me here every day."

"Oh, Okay."

At the same time, we take our phones in our hands. I check the hour, and she seems to be clearing some notifications before she looks up.

James stops his car in front of us.

"Ready, you guys?"

We nod, and I hear the doors unlock. I sit in the back with Alex, and Lucy joins us—in the front seat of the car—a few minutes on the road later.

The ride was silent, and though I'm not quite religious, I pray to god that we get to my house so this could end.

After a whole-ass millenia, James stops at my house. Alex and I thank him and get out of the car, walk up the stairs, and I unlock my apartment door. Aunt Rosa greets us at the other side and offers her hand to Alex.

I lock the door behind me.

"Hi, I'm Rosa."

Alex smile and takes the hand she offers, shaking it politely.

"I'm Alex. It's nice to meet you."

"What are we having?" I ask, leaning on the kitchen table.

"Rigatoni all'Arrabbiata," Aunt Rosa answers, she turns to Alex. "I hope you will like it."

Alex shrugs, and then nods. "I'm sure I'll love it, I'm not picky. I eat everything."

Suddenly, I hear Cheetos tumbling the the next room. He runs through the kitchen and jumps on Alex, panting excitedly.

" _Aww_ a _puppyyy_ ," Alex coos, squatting to scratch Cheetos behind the ears.

"You a dog lover?" I ask, watching as Alex scratches Cheetos' belly.

'I _love_ dogs. I have a cat, but I definitely say no to having one around." She says. She looks up at me and points a warning finger in my direction. "Just _don't_ tell Kara that. If it were up to her, we'd have a million more pets."

"I don't even exist anymore!" I laugh, and Alex does the same as Cheetos laps at her cheek. "Not one look at me."

"What's their name?" she asks.

"His name's Cheetos." I bend over and give him a quick kiss on the head.

Alex laughs, cupping Cheetos' face. "What a cute name you have, huh? _Huh_?"

Aunt Rosa calls us over to the kitchen and Alex gives Cheetos one last pat before following me there.

She prepared us pasta. Alex and I sit while Aunt Rosa brings the pot to the middle of the table. We serve ourselves and start to dig in after getting drinks.

"It's delicious," Alex says, and Aunt Rosa smiles.

"Thank you, I try my best."

We eat together, casually starting conversation between bites until we all finish. Alex thanks Aunt Rosa for the food, and her and I head to my bedroom.

"Here's my bedroom?" I say, swinging out an arm.

"I love these pictures, actually."

"Thank you. I took them, actually."

"Maybe that's why."

I smile shyly and watch her look around. She ambles over to my bed and flops on it, bouncing a few times before the mattress settles.

"Oh, my _god_ , I'm in _love_ with your bed," she says.

"Same, it's why it's so hard for me to wake up in the morning."

She laughs and gets comfortable on my bed, sitting beside me. She unzips her bag and takes out her math stuff, laying it out in front of us. "Okay, ready?"

"Yup!"

\---

"Finished!" I yell, throwing my pencil down n the table, which makes Alex look up from her notes.

"We're finished?"

"Yes," I say, " _Finally_."

I flop back on my bed, taking a breath before I pack up.

"Do you have lotion for hand by any chance?"

"Yeah, it should be on the bottom drawer of my night table."

"You don't mind if I snoop?"

"Nah, go ahead. It's easy to find."

I start putting away everything on my bed in my bag. "Find it?" I ask, not looking up at her. I drag my bag next to my door.

"No, I actually found… some magazines?"

I turn my head and see Alex running her fingers over the spines of the few _Science Magazine_ s I have—in my _left_ nightstand.

_Wrong one._

I freeze and I feel my blood go hot and rush through my body.

I barely hear what she says next.

"I have some of the same issues."

I finally have the strength to say something then.

" _Close that_!" I say, my voice straining in desperation.

Alex jerks her hand away and looks at me in surprise.

I feel my stomach churn and my mouth fills with saliva.

 _She knows, she_ knows.

Alex cautiously sits on the edge of the mattress, and I could feel her reading me this very moment.

I stare at the bed shyly.

She seemed to understand my reaction, then.

And she knew.

Who the real Maggie is.

I feel heat rise up to my cheeks and blanket my chest, heart stuttering.

And as if she knew—and maybe she did—how I was feeling, what was going through my mind, her voice softens.

"I won't tell anyone… Don't worry."

Just above a whisper, I stutter, "I-Yeah. T-thanks…"

"You weren't lying when I said you liked my bedroom."

I don't answer. But she doesn't need one anyway.

"You don't have to explain anything to me. But know you can trust me, Maggie," Alex says, "And if you ever want to borrow a magazine… let me know."

I look down, taking breaths and biting my lip to keep from smiling.

"Okay."

My aunt knocks at my door, interrupting the moment. "Dessert's ready!" she says.

"Yes, sugar!" Alex exclaims, which makes me laugh.

We rush to the kitchen, where there's a triple layer chocolate cake waiting for us.

Alex takes a seat at the table and I take the one next to her. Aunt Rosa serves us both a slice with a glass of milk on the side.

"I should come here more often," Alex says, and I laugh, passing her a napkin to wipe the chocolate that has got on her face.

After stuffing our faces, we head back to my room.

"When are you leaving?" I ask.

"Oh, kicking me out already?" Alex jokes, scooping another forkful of cake into her mouth.

"Oh, no, I just don't want you to miss the bus back home!"

"The bus gets here at 9, I'm good."

I look up at the clock next to the fridge. 6:57. I turn back to Alex. "Alright, we've got two hours to kill, wanna watch something?" I ask her.

"Sure, what do you want to watch?"

"I don't know, what do _you_ like?"

"I like a lot of things, you choose."

"Well, I did want to watch the last Star Wars. I didn't get to see it when it was first out." I reply.

"Star Wars!?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Yeah… nerd," she teases, a soft smile on her lips.

_Oh, how the tables have turned._

I slap her arm and she starts to giggle, but she catches herself quickly. I laugh as she gets comfortable.

\---

When the movie is finished, I turn off the TV.

She turns to me. "This was fun, thank you for inviting me, Maggie."

"Anytime, Danvers."

Alex's lips turn up slightly, and her eyes droop as she pulls the duvet over her shoulders. By the sleepy look on her face, I can tell she wasn't ready to leave.

But she had to go. Fifteen minutes, we have left together tonight.

"I'mma steal that duvet."

"I'd like to see you try," I say, teasing her.

She laughs and burrito-s herself in the duvet.

"Are you cold?" she asks.

"No, I'm good. You can have it all."

She smiles and I scoot closer to her. I feel her warmth radiating from her body under the blankets.

"You have to leave soon, you know," I whisper, despite my words.

"Hmmmfff…"

I laugh, standing up from the bed.

Alex unfurls herself from her cocoon and pulls her hoodie over her head, fixing it at the waist. She scoops her bag from the floor I walk her to the door.

We gaze in each other's eyes for a moment, and I think of how I can say goodbye to her.

"Can I say something?"

I lean my back against the wall.

"I'm listening."

"I like this Maggie more," she says softly.

I look away, unsuccessfully containing the smile that spreading over my face. I stare at the ceiling to gather the thoughts running through my head.

After a few moments, I loll my head to look in her direction.

"I do, too" I whisper. And as Alex opens her arms, and I lean forward, wrapping mine around her, grasping at her shoulders.

As I tighten my hold, Alex cranes her neck down and buries her head into my shoulder, and I feel her breath puff against my skin. Her hand running up and down my back in a comforting motion.

I felt like she knew everything. What happened, why I am the way I am. Even though I know it's impossible.

We stay like that for a moment too short.

We step away at the same time. I look at her meaningfully, eyes smiling.

"I'm glad we met, you know? I've never been so glad about how stupid I am when it comes to math."

Alex bursts into laughter, chest bouncing, nose and eyes crinkling.

Her laugh is just so—

Alex wiped a few tears from her eyes and catches her breath, looking into my own eyes. She speaks quietly. "I have to go."

I nod. "You don't want to miss your bus."

"Yeah…" She says, trailing off. She reaches behind her for the doorknob but doesn't turn away from me just yet. "Tuesday?"

"Tuesday."

I wave at her, closing the door when she turns away from me. I leave my fingers on the door, and I bite my lips, holding back a smile as I lean my head on the doorway.

I lean back, lock the door, and take a deep breath. I wipe the smile from my face, hearing Rosa come up behind me. I turn to her.

"I like her," she says quietly.

I nod. "Me too."

We turn in around a half hour later, dishes done, showers taken.

After brushing my teeth, I change into my comfiest pajamas and curl under the duvet.

I take a big breath, because _Everything's gonna be fine._

And almost unconsciously...

I smile.

And why? I don't know yet.

 

/Scars to your beautiful/Alessia Cara/

She just want to be, beautiful she goes

Unnoticed, she knows, no limits she craves

Attention, she praises an image she prays to be,

Sculpted by the sculptor

Oh she don't see the light that's shining

Deeper than the eyes can find it maybe we have made her blind

So she tries to cover her pain and cut her woes away

Cause covergirl don't cry after their face is made

But, there a hope that's waiting for you in the dark

You should know you're beautiful, just the way you are

And you don't have to change a thing the world could change its heart

No scars to your beautiful, we're star and we're beautiful

She has dream to be, an envy, so she's starving, you know covergirl eat nothings

She says " beauty is pain and there's beauty in everything"

" what's a little bit of hunger ?" " I can go a little while longer" she fades away

She don't see her perfect, she don't understand she's worth it

Or that beauty goes deeper than the surface, so to all the girls that's hurting,

Let me be your mirror help you see a little bit clearer the light that shines within

No better you than the you that you are no better life than the life we're living

No better time for your shine, you're a star. Oh you're beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last note: How will finding out Maggie's truth affect their relationship? Will they get closer?
> 
>  
> 
> Well, we all know the answer: Yes! But hey, I'm trying to be suspenseful here! #Busted


	15. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We have so much fun and she’s just so nice to me. I feel so lucky to have her in my life. She’s just got in in, but every time I see her, she brightens my day.“ Alex says to her mother.
> 
>  
> 
> Eliza smiles. “I bet you like that girl…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES, a sleepover! Am I fine? I was until I realized that I made Alex have a single twin bed… YES, I KNOW, I KNOW. As much as I love slow burns, they kill me too.

-September 21, 2018-

-Friday-

— Maggie POV —

I walk into the cafeteria, momentarily bouncing up to my toes to scan the heads  the cafeteria for Alex and Kara.

I spot Kara first next to Lena and speed walk towards her. When she sees me coming, she smiles. She says a quick ‘ _ Hey _ ’ and takes a bite of the sandwich in her hand.

"Hey,” I say. I then look around, “Where’s Alex?"

"She text me that she was talking to her teacher, I can show you the way though. I don’t think she’ll take long to join us.”

"Okay, yeah. Thanks."

I drag a chair out and take a seat, waiting for Kara to finish up. We make small talk to break the ice a bit, and after a few more minutes, we were good to go.

We gather our things together and make our way to the exit door.

“How was your day?" Kara asks.

"Boring, what about you?"

"Same, my class was cancelled. ”

I look at her. "And… that’s bad?"

We stop at the door to wait for Alex.

"I mean, I came to campus for nothing, so."

I nod. "Oh, shitty."

I see Alex down the hall and I give her a small wave when she spots me. She jogs up to us and we pass through the double doors, making our way to the bus stop together.

"Stealing Maggie away from me already, Kara?" Alex quips.

Kara rolls her eyes and we laugh.

Alex sees Lena approaching them and she looks to Kara.

"Is she coming too?”

Kara looks at Lena and then Alex and then she realises.

“Ohhhhh, no, I mean, I didn’t ask.” Kara looks at Lena, “Do you want to come to mine today? ”

"To what exactly?”

"Star are falling, we are having a sleepover !”

"OH! Yeah sure, I was going to look at them at home anyway. I wouldn’t mind some company."

Alex looks to me."Wait, do you have a bus pass?” 

"No, I don't,” I answer, shaking my head.

"Do you have any change on you?"

"Uh, no... I was thinking we would be walking, actually."

"Okay, I’ll pay for you then," she says, pulling out her wallet.

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that,” I say, feeling a bit guilty.

“It's nothing, honestly!”

“Are you  _ sure _ ?”

The bus pulls up in front of us and Alex tilts her head towards it.

“Come on,” she says.

Kara and Lena hop on first, and Alex guides me in with a gentle hand after tapping her card on the farebox twice. We sit together and drop our bags at our feet.

"We should watch something when we get to the house. What do you like, Maggie?" Alex asks.

"Uh whatever it is, nothing romantic or drama."

"Something Disney!" Kara says, grinning at me over Alex’s left.

"Kara, do  _ not _ coerce her." 

"I'm down for Disney," I say.

"Really?” Alex says, a grimace on her face, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

"I can’t say no to Disney.”

Kara turns to me smiling. "I like her," she says, and I let out a short laugh.

"Fine,  _ fiiiine _ , Disney it is.”

I laugh as Kara holds her hand up to me for a high five. Alex rolls her eyes as I push her gently.

"You’re still my favorite."

Alex puts a hand over her heart. “Aw.”

…

After a few quick thank yous to the driver, we all get off the bus and walk the short path up to Alex and Kara’s house.

We walk upstairs and go into Alex’s bedroom. 

"How about we prepare everything now before we get too comfortable on the couch and don’t want to do anything later?”

"Great idea" says Kara, going into her bedroom and Lena follows her to help.

"Maggie, I’m gonna need a hand,” Alex says.

"It's all yours."

Alex throws a pillow at my face.  She adds a duvet and I look at her. 

"Is that all?"

"Yeah, follow Kara,” she says, pointing me in the right direction.

I nod and do as she says. In front of me, Kara opens the door placed between her and Alex’s room. A small closet.

Kara and I lay the pillow and duvets on the floor. Alex comes back with three plushies.

I raise an eyebrow.

"What?” She says—and before I can answer—”Don’t look at me like that."

"I carry a pillow and a big ass duvet and you come in here with three plushies?”

"And what about it? They’re the most important part.”

I laugh as she lays them on the floor.

"Okay, all done. Now, let’s watch the movie."

Kara smiles as she lets us into her bedroom and closes the door behind us. We make our way downstairs and Alex puts some pizza in the oven. 

Her mom, Eliza, comes through the front door just as the  enters at the same time that we start the movie. We all gently say hi and she answers back. We start to watch Mulan.

Alex pauses the movie to take the pizza out of the oven and puts it on plates. We could now eat and watch the movie. When we were finished, we put our plates in the dishwasher and follow Alex as she leads us up the stairs and out onto the balcony.

"Do you want me to figure this out?" Kara asks, looking at the instructions she pulled from the box.

"Let me try first," Alex says, looking through the telescope and adjusting the knobs. 

While she does that, I take a seat on the homemade blanket-bed on the floor of the balcony.

After a couple of minutes swearing and fumbling, Alex finally figures it out. She puts her eye up to the eyepiece and turns back to us.

"Look at this," she says, waving me and Kara over with her hand.

Kara looks first.

"Wow…!” she says, wonder in her voice. She backs away and turns to me. “Maggie, look!”

I get up and look through the telescope.

"Is that the moon?"

"Yeah. You see the crater patterns?" Alex asks.

"Yeah. It’s beautiful.”

“Meteor shower starts in…” she glances at her phone, “Ten minutes. Let’s sit.”

I stop looking through the telescope and sit next to Alex, pushing the plushies over and pulling the blanket up my legs. Alex copies me, laughing.

"I’m cold," she whispers.

“Me too.”

After another ten minutes, we wonder if the meteor shower was a social media hoax or something, but then—

"Wait, look! There’s some here!” Alex says.

I gape as the meteors flit across the sky. I get up on my knees and lean forward to watch them through the telescope, keeping the duvet around myself with one hand.

"Woah…”

We all take turns and eventually end up laying on the floor, blankets and plushies bunched under us to save ourselves from the hardwood floor.

Alex points to the sky.

"Do you see the yellow spot there?"

"Yeah, that’s terriah," I answer. "The rock planet one? I think?"

"Yeah!"

I squint, pointing generally at the sky. "I know that the green one is called Krypton."

Alex laughs, folding her arms behind her head."And here I thought  _ I _ would be able to teach  _ you _ something.”

"Yeah,  _ nope _ ." Who’s saying what?

After that, we watch the sky in near silence.

When I look at the time next, a half hour has passed, and I feel goosebumps rise on my arms.

"I’m getting cold, we should get back inside,” I say, and the others nod in agreement.

“What next?” Lena asks, and Kara jumps in immediately.

“Movie!”

_ “ _ And the Disney fanatics won, we were out-voted,” Alex reminds her, standing up.

We return to her bedroom and I turn around.

"Alright, you can stay here, change, get comfortable. I’m going to get the sleeping bag, I’ll be right back.”

As soon as she nods, I turn and head out to find it.

— Alex POV —

_ Bang. _

"Are you okay!?" I hear Kara ask from behind me.

I nod—although not sure if she could see me—still fumbling through the crap at the top of the closet to find the sleeping bag.

"Yeah, I’m good. Just looking for the sleeping bag.” I messily push the stuff back to where it was and turn to Kara, brushing my hair back from my face. “Do you remember where we put it the last time?”

"The sleeping—oh,  _ shit _ !"

" _ What?  _ What’s wrong?”

“I forgot it…”

White flashes before my eyes. 

"You  _ forgot _ it?" I squeak.

"Yeah,” Kara says, cowering a bit. “When I went to Lena’s house."

It takes me a whole five seconds to process the information.

"Are you  _ kidding _ me?"

“I know, I know, I’m sorry!”

"Okay, it’s okay. It’s fine. You can sleep with me, and Maggie can sleep in your room. Problem solved!”

"Uh, Alex?"

"What?"

"Maggie barely  _ knows _ Lena, I doubt she’d be  _ any _ more comfortable with her.”

"...The couch! Do you think Maggie—"

"You’d really let Maggie sleep on the  _ couch _ ?" Kara gasps.

"I  _ know _ , I  _ know,  _ you’re right!”

I gather myself together and tiptoe back into my room.

Maggie’s already in her pajamas, and she’s squatting in front of her bag, zipping it up.

"Maggie, um... About the sleeping bag…” I start, and Maggie stands from her squat and turns to me. “Kara forgot it at Lena’s the other day.”

Maggie nods, her mouth opening with an ‘o’. She looks down, and I take the moment to give Kara the side-eye. Maggie looks up, looking unsure.

"I can sleep on the couch, if you want, I wouldn’t mind.”

I shake my head reverently. "Oh, no! Even being as small as you are, not even  _ you  _ can fit on it like that.”— _ Did the thought really pass my mind as an option before?  _ God!—”It’ll be a tight fit, but I think we’ll be okay. I hope you don’t mind.”

She shakes her head and walks up to the bed.

"Which side do you like?”

"The left. So if anyone falls on the floor, it’ll be me,” she laughs.

"I don’t move  _ that _ much, I doubt I’ll knock you off."

"Well, I think you will."

“Don't worry, I got your back.”

I give her a crooked smile. "Thanks."

Maggie crawls onto the bed and pulls the duvet over herself. I join her once she’s settled.

I turn away from her to face the wall and pull the blanket over my shoulder.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight."

Saturday

April 22, 2018

— Maggie’s POV —

I feel the first rays of sun caress my face when I wake.

I take a breath through my nose and stretch, minding Alex behind me.

_ At least she’s not on the floor, _ I muse.

I look at the clock on her night table.

9:10 a.m.

The bed creaks and I watch as Alex rolls over, her face facing mine. This close, I can see the faint freckles that dot her face.

I close my eyes, but sleep doesn’t come. I knew it wouldn’t.

I peek at Alex again, and she shifts, burying her head further into her pillow. A strand of hair falls over her face, and I wonder if she’ll wake soon.

I lift my hand, and with a careful touch, I but the strand on hair back in place. Just as I go to back away, her eyes twitch and start to open.

I snatch my hand away as quick as I can, but I don’t know if she saw.

She cracks a smile as she turn her head to the clock and quick return to her position . Her eyes close again.

She move her head as it bump on my chest. I didn't move to be sure to not wake her up is hse already fall asleep.

"Did you sleep well?” she asks, her morning voice a bit gravely.

_ I found it cute though. _

"Yeah,” she says, “You?”

"Yeah."

"Sorry if I woke you.”

“It’s okay.”

It’s silent for a moment and I laugh, scratching the bridge of my nose.

"Are you comfortable?" I tease.

"Yup. And I’m not moving.”

I laugh airily.

Then, Maggie rolls over, readjusting the duvet over her shoulder."Thank you for inviting me."

"Of course."

"Did I move a lot?"

"Yeah, but it's fine, I  _ guess _ ."

"Anyway, you snore, so..."

"Excuse me? I do  _ not _ !"

She laugh as I fakely punch her as she was going to fall. I take her arm to came back on its initial place.

Through the bedsheet, I feel her leg touch mine.

“We should get up,” Alex says softly, and I give her a mischievous smile.

"Oh, no. Absolutely not, I’m too comfortable here.”

“Come on, Sawyer," she says, sitting up on the bed and hanging her feet over the edge.

"Ugh, fine.”

I haul myself up and off the bed, following Alex down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Alex stood up walking through the door as I follow her. She check quick in the bedroom of Kara as their weren't there. We walk down the stairs as we catch Lena and kara kissing each other making pancake.

“You’re the best person on earth.”

"Hey, you two are awake!" say kara putting some pancake on plate.

“Good morning!"

I tilt my head at her. “Are you always this energetic in the morning? It’s disgusting.”

“Yes, she is,” Alex answers, grabbing her fork.

"Ugh, god, how is she so energetic in the morning?” Maggie ask. 

“She's an alien,” she deadpans.

I laugh, taking my fork and digging into my breakfast.  After we finish eating our delicious breakfast, Maggie leave to her appart. 

« So did you guys had fun?  »

“We have so much fun and she’s just  _ so _ nice to me. I feel so lucky to have her in my life. She just arrive not long ago but she is my sunshine. Everyday I see her she just bring my day“ Alex says to her mother.

Eliza smiles. “I bet you like that girl…”

I look at her and smile. ” Yeah I do ..  ”

_ -Stargazing, Justin Jesso- _

_ You're saying it's hopeless, that I should hope less _

_ Heaven can help us, well maybe "she" might _

_ You say it's beyond us, what is beyond us? Let's see and decide _

_ We've been meteoric, even before this Burns half as long when it's twice as bright _

_ And I will still be here, stargazing I'll still look up, look up _

_ Look up for love I will still be here, stargazing _

_ I'll still look up, look up Look up for love _

_ Don't you, give up, for me Don't fall, don't give up, for love _

_ I'm trying to save us, you don't wanna save us You blame human nature, and say it's unkind _

_ Let's make up our own minds, we've got our whole lives _

_ Let's see and decide, decide _

_ And I will still be here, stargazing I'll still look up, look up Look up for love _

_ Stars don't disappear, they keep blazing Even when the night is over _

_ And I will still be here, stargazing I'll still look up, look up _

_ Look up for love Stars don't disappear, they keep blazing Even when the night is over _

_ That's how I find the light _

_ Don't you, give up, for me Don't fall, don't give up, for love _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They take their time... We have to respect that! XD


	16. Discovering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can’t say it. I can’t. But I can write it on paper.
> 
>  
> 
> In the back of my mind, I imagined you finding what I wrote, read it, and come to me yourself because I’ll never have the courage to tell you what I feel. And then make the connection. It’s about you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long-awaited chapter with revelations about how our two girls are feeling. ;). I can’t say any more, I might spoil it. But perhaps I already did… Oops, sorry not sorry.

—Sunday—

— September 22, 2018—

Maggie POV

 

I’ve just smoothed out my jeans and finished buttoning up my white flannel when I hear my aunt yell from downstairs.

 

"Maggie, Crystal’s here!"

 

“I'm in my bedroom!" I call back.

 

In what seems like seconds, Crystal appears at my door, decked out in practically the same outfit.

 

“Hey, just gonna finish my make up real quick,” I say, putting on some light eyeshadow and liner.

 

“Alright,” she says, sitting on my bed.

 

I cap the liner and take one last look at the mirror before looking to Crystal for her input. She nods, giving me a thumbs up.

 

"You seeing that girl tonight?" She pauses, thinking. "Leila?"

 

"Probably,” I sigh, adjusting the strap on my shoes “I’m sure Lucy did everything in her power to make sure she’s there tonight.

 

“Of course she would,” Crystal chuckles.

 

I don’t respond to that.

 

“Okay, I’m ready," I say, and Crystal jumps up.

 

"Alright, let’s go!" she says, lightly tapping my ass to hurry me up. We skip down the stairs and out of the house. I lock my door behind and I follow Crystal into her blue Mazda. She starts the engine and pulls out onto the road.

 

"Hey, if anything comes up, I volunteer to be your fake girlfriend."

 

"Thanks.”

 

A few red lights, turns, and one ways later, we’re there.

 

She parks half a block ahead of the spot and we walk up to the door. She leads the way. I’m right behind her as she gives the door three hard knocks.

 

And Lucy opens the door.

 

" _ My gaaays _ !"

 

I blink. "Lucy? This isn’t even your house. And you’re opening the door and letting people in?”

 

“I was too excited to see you. Every time I heard someone knock, I rushed to the door and screamed your name, thinking it was you.”

 

“And let me guess, you looked stupid doing it.”

 

Lucy stares at me blankly for a moment, then shrugs. “I’m drunk, I don't remember any of that tomorrow.”

 

I look at her in exasperation and then look to Crystal, who’s giving me the same look. We laugh, and I’m grateful she’s here with me to witness Lucy’s anitics.

 

"Cee! You’ve got to meet someone. Leila, Maggie’s new boo,” Lucy jests, and I roll my eyes.

 

As Lucy drags Crystal and me to the kitchen, I pass by a few familiar faces. I give out a couple of greetings before giving into Lucy’s pull.

 

Leila’s eyes light up when she sees me.

 

"Maggie, it’s great to see you again!" Leila says, wrapping her arm around my shoulders for a quick hug. When she pulls back, I give her a tight smile.

 

"Hey, great to see you too"

 

"And who's this?"

 

"Oh! Uh, this is my friend, Crystal," I say, gesturing to her with a wave.

 

"Hey. My name is Leila, I’m Lucy’s friend.”

 

Leila puts up a hand and Crystal shakes it politely, introducing herself.

 

It doesn’t take long for the conversation to flow.

 

After a whole forty-five minutes, Leila leaves Crystal and I to ourselves. We take deep, relieving breaths.

 

“She is  _ certainly  _ fond of  _ you _ ,” Crystal says, sipping her beer to hide her smirk—unsuccessfully, might I add.

 

“Yeah, she’s pretty persistent.”

 

"Well, you got her if you want her.”

 

I shrug. "Yeah, I guess."

 

"You guess? You know, you would have made a million jokes with that if it were any other time.. You’re not sounding too cheerful tonight.”

 

“Sorry, I am! I am, it’s just…” I sigh, shrugging.

 

Crystal puts her hand on her hips. "Okay. Maggie Sawyer, what’s going on with you? You’ve been acting weird.”

 

"It’s nothing.”

 

To stall, I take a large gulp of the drink in my hand. I know I’m not getting out of this conversation when I look up at Crystal’s face.

 

She tilts her head at me, looking at me skeptically and I stomp my foot.

 

“Ugh, I hate when you do that!” I whine.

 

“ _ Maggie _ .”

 

"I just… have someone else is on my mind right now. I don’t care about all this.”

 

“Who?”

 

"Alex.”

 

"Alex?” Crystal says, confused for a moment, but then recognition dawns on her face. “What happened with her? What did I miss?"

 

"I stayed over… Last night.”

 

“What!? _ Already?” _

 

"No, no! Not like that! We slept together, like,  _ sleep _ sleep.”

 

“I don’t know she’s just…” I shake my head and look to my hands. “Nevermind, it's…”

 

“Maggie, talk to me. I’m not here to judge you, I'm your friend."

 

_ Crystal is not Lucy. _

 

“She’s just a wonderful person, you know? And I like her. I like spending time with her. And—yeah.”

 

“Sounds like your falling for her.”

 

I blink, looking down at my drink, swirling the liquid in the cup.

 

“I—”

 

"I’m back!” Leila pants,  “Sorry, I got lost in the crowd.”

 

Crystal leans back on the island and gulps down what’s in her cup.

 

“So, what are we talking about?” Leila asks, gaze flitting between Crystal and I.

 

“Just... about a new show I started to watch,” I lie, “ _Lucifer_. Um, heard of it?”

 

"Oh yeah? I love that show!”

 

As Leila starts to go off on a tangent, I look at Crystal, who gives me an awkward smile.

 

—Monday—

 

“Alright, your physical projects have been graded,” Marthe announces to the class, “You are free to take them home. Be sure to pass in your essays by 11:59 p.m. tomorrow night. You’re free to go.”

 

A chorus of chairs screech as people begin to gather their things and leave. Alex and I go up to the center table where all the miniatures are and we pull our unicorn project toward us.

 

“Do you want to keep it?” Alex asks.

 

“Um… I don’t know. I like it, but if you want it more—”

 

Alex lifts the unicorn up and hands it to me, making sure I’ve got a good grasp on it before her fingers drift away from mine. “You can take it. I feel like it’s more important to you.”

 

I smile. “Thank you,” and Alex nods, bouncing on her toes for a quick second.

 

“So. what are you writing?” Alex asks.

 

“I am not sure yet. I’ve got a few lines down. I’ll figure out the rest at home.”

 

“If you need help, you know how to call."

 

I feign confusion.

 

"Ghostbusters?"

 

I see Alex swallow her laughter before she looks at me pointedly. "Funny. But this is a  _ real _ offer."

 

I smile, glancing over her face. “I know.”

 

\---

 

When James spots the unicorn plush, I see confusion contort his face. I answer his unasked question before he gets the chance to open his mouth.

 

"Art project."

 

“You know, I assumed so, but knowing you, I didn’t want to assume,” James laughs.

 

He unlocks the door and I take a seat in the back, knowing Lucy likes to drive shotgun—I was feeling nice today. We pick up Lucy and then we’re on our way to campus.

 

It doesn’t take long for her to notice what I’m holding.

 

"I’m here, I’m queer. What the hell is this?”

 

“Art project.”

 

"It looks so gay. Gimme it,” Lucy says, swiping her hand near the plaster unicorn.

 

"Lucy, I  _ swear _ if you break it—!"

 

"Maggie, I wouldn't do that!” She says offended. “I honestly just want to look at it.”

 

I pass her the unicorn and I watch her turn it this way and that, bringing it up to her face to see the details.

 

James pulls up at my house. “We’re here, Maggie.”

 

“Thanks, James!” I tap him on the shoulder over the seat and then tap on Lucy’s shoulder. “Okay, Luce, exhibitions over. Gotta go.”

 

“Oh, yeah,” she says, passing the figure over her shoulder to me. “It's really well done, you did a great job.”

 

“Thanks, we did our best."

 

"We?" Lucy asks.

 

"Me and Alex, I mean."

 

"You did a gay project with Alex?"

 

"It’s not  _ gay _ , it’s a unicorn!"

 

“I’m hearing no difference,” Lucy says, and I laugh with her.

 

"Okay, I’m done. Leaving. See you tomorrow, guys!" I wave.

 

James drives off and I walk up the steps to my apartment, and then up to my door. I unlock it and swing the door shut behind me with my foot.

 

My aunt peeks her head out from the kitchen.

 

“Hey hon’,  dinner will be ready in a bit, okay?”

 

“Okay, thanks,” I say, going up to her and giving her a quick peck on the cheek before heading o my room.

 

I open my door and flop onto my bed, toeing my shoes off before unzipping my backpack. I pull out my assignment folder and take out my essay draft. I skim through the first paragraph with fresh eyes, checking over my work.

 

... _ Although there are many veins of symbolism I can delve into, such as the unicorn’s blank in Harry Potter, for example, I’d like to write about what specific meaning the unicorn has to me... _

 

I blink, frowning,  _ Wait a second… _ I skip ahead.

 

_...unicorn has become a sort of symbol for the gay community—whether it be in jest or not—and that is where my connection lays. Since recently discovering I’m a part of this community, I found myself looking for those connections... _

 

I choke on my breath.

 

I turn the page around and look to the top of it.

 

_ Alex Danvers. _

 

This isn’t my paper.

 

This is  _ Alex’s _ paper.

 

And now I know she’s—

 

“What am I supposed to tell her...?” I murmur.

 

—Tuesday—

 

James’s car pulls up to the sidewalk and I jog over, carefully handing me and Alex’s project. I open the car door and throw my backpack on the opposite side the the seat.

 

“Good morning, Sawyer,” James greets, and I send over a quick smile to him, getting settled in my seat. I offer a ‘hey’ to Lucy.

 

“So, you going to bring a car buddy every time you go on a drive or what? If that’s the case...” Lucy brings up a finger. “ _ I _ want one too.”

 

I huff. “No, I’m just going to give it to Alex.”

 

Lucy gasps. "Why not  _ me _ ?"

 

"Because  _ Alex _ worked on it with me."

 

"Ugh,  _ fine _ ,” she whines, pouting playfully.

 

Seconds after the car is stopped, I book to the the school building, ignoring Lucy and James’ confused calls behind me.

 

I speed down the stairs to Alex’s locker and I spot her on the other side of the hall.

 

"Alex! Wait up!"

 

Alex halts, pulls her headphones out of her ears and turns to me. “Maggie, hey.”

 

“Hey! I think you’ve got my paper. I have yours. Switch?” I hold up the assignment.

 

“Oh! Yeah, here.” Alex adjusts her bag over her shoulder to put it over her chest and unzips it, shoveling through it to find my paper. “Here it is,” she says, handing it to me. I take mine and exchange it for hers.

 

“Thank you…”

 

Alex ‘mhms’ and throws her back over her shoulder after closing it. “Thanks,” she says, and she goes to leave, but I catch her arm gently before she does.

 

“Alex.”

 

Her eyes widen with worry at my shaky tone. “What’s wrong? Are you o—”

 

“I read it,” I blurt, and see all the blood drain from her face. “I didn’t know it was yours at first!” I rush, “I’m sorry.”

 

She faces away from me. I can see her body shaking. “You read... all of it?”

 

“Not all of it but…” Alex’s wide, misted eyes meet mine. I approach her, a deer in headlights. "You’re okay. I just wanted to say, I’m here for you.”

 

I reach for her hand and she lets me hold it.

 

“You're not alone.”

 

Alex nods.

 

I tip my head down, trying to catch her eyes. “Do you want to come to mine? We don’t have to talk about anything, I just… I want to be here for you.”

 

“You don’t have to do that just because you feel like you need to be nice to me or whatever. Like every other time,” she snaps, and there are tears in her eyes as she says it.

 

“Alex, I’m not—I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want you there.”

 

Alex looks at everything but me and throws her hands up in exasperation. “But  _ why _ ?  _ Why _ ?”

 

“I”m here for you, Alex.” I pause as she wipes at the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. “You’re my  _ friend _ .” And as I say that, I squeeze at the fingers still limp in my hold and pull her into a hug, gliding my hand down her back in what I hope is a comforting motion.

 

Alex sniffles and shudders a few more times before I tentatively break the silence.

 

“Alex?”

 

I feel her nod into my shoulder, and I smile, leaning my head into hers.

 

“I’m proud of you.”

 

She shakes her head. “It’s nothing,” she mumbles.

 

“Hey,” I say, and she lifts her head from my shoulder and finally,  _ finally _ looks at me. “It’s  _ not _ nothing.”

 

She looks at the floor then up to me. “I have to go. See you later okay?”

 

“Yeah. Okay."

 

She smiles briefly—a bit strained—and she walks away.

 

_ -Umbrella-Rihanna- _

_ When the sun shines we'll shine together _

_ Told you I'll be here forever _

_ Said, I'll always be your friend _

_ Took an oath, I'mma stick it out 'till the end _

_ Now that it's raining more than ever _

_ Know that we still have each other _

_ You can stand under my umbrella _

_ You can stand under my umbrella _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Alex is gay—conFIRMED—and now we see Maggie admitting that she’s starting to have feelings for Alex.
> 
>  
> 
> Things are finally starting to unfold. Finally! Right? It’s been 84 years...


	17. Just Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve finally admitted it. Said the words that I’ve been afraid of for the longest time, but craved to say the most. And… because of you, I finally get me. And now, all I can hope for is that I get you, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will we see Alex coming out to Maggie? Maybe, maybe not. I won't extend the suspense any longer. Have a nice reeeeeeaaad… ;)

—Tuesday—

—September 24, 2018—

 

I head to Marthe’s class, almost tripping over my feet in my haste.

 

I give the door two hard knocks and it opens, Marthe on the other side of it.

 

I stand in the middle of the room, paper in my shaking hands, and I don’t say anything.

 

“What’s that you have there?” Marthe asks.

 

Instead of answering, I keep my head down as I stretch my arm out, paper in hand. I feel her take it tenderly, and when I peek up from under my eyelashes, I see her reading the page speedily.

When enough time passes and she doesn’t say anything, I shift on my feet, gesturing to the door. “Okay, um, I’m gonna go.”

And then she places a hand on my shoulder. "Come here, Alex. Sit,” she says, patting the stool next to her desk. “Please.”

 

Nervous and shaking, I drag my feet the few steps it takes to get to the stool and sit down. The old stool creaks under my weight.

 

Marthe adjusts herself so she’s facing more towards me, and leans forward.

 

“Do you want to talk about what you wrote?”

 

I avoid looking into her eyes. I keep my gaze focused on my hands instead. I squeeze my fingers so tight they practically turn white.

 

“I don’t know,” I whisper, I twist my lips to the side as I feel my eyes start to burn.

“Alex,” she says, “You can tell me _anything_. I promise that this is a safe space for you.”

 

I exhale shakily, trying to swallow the stress festering inside me.

“I—We… The group project, the unicorn…. it wasn’t just for Maggie.”

Marthe nods patiently. “Mhm…”

“I'm—I’m like...her. Yeah, um…” I choke. My eyes squeeze shut and I blush at my stumbling, frustrated and upset I couldn’t just _say it._

 

I open my mouth again, but nothing comes out.

 

“You know, Alex, it’s okay to be who you are,” Marthe says, “It’s why I like you. You’re _you_. You’re an exceptional student and person. And this? This doesn’t change that.”

I hide my face in my hands and nod.

 

“Is this why you got so close to Maggie? So she could help you through this?”

 

I look up, shaking my head. “No. I—we were friends before that. _This_. She didn't even know until... today.”

“Well, it seems like you’ve struck gold, finding that one.”

I laugh gently, a little bit disbelieving. “So you’re okay with us being friends now?”

 

Marthe sighs. “I trust your judgment. If you believe there’s something special in her, there must be. Even if I don’t see it myself.”

There’s a knock in the door, and we both turn at the sound. I look back to Marth.

 

She points to the door. “Is it alright if—?”

 

I wave her away, standing from the chair. “Yeah, yeah. It’s, um, it’s okay.”

 

“Alright,” she says. She wraps me in her arms for a quick hug and is off to the door.

 

I take a deep breath through my nose and breathe out of my mouth, wiping any evidence of tears or distress off my face.

 

The doorknob rattles, the door creaks open. “Maggie, hello.”

 

I turn around.

 

She’s holding her essay up to her chest, and as if feeling my eyes on her, her gaze flickers to me. She turns back to Marthe and hands her her paper.

 

“I know it’s early, but…”

 

Marthe waves her hand around. “Oh, no, it’s okay. Gives me two less papers to grade at the end of the semester.”

 

As Marthe goes to put Maggie’s paper in a folder on top of her desk, Maggie walks up to me.

 

“Hey, uh, you okay?” she asks, and I smile at her.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Marth claps her hands loudly, directing both of our attention to her. “Alright, ladies. Thank you for turning in your copies. I do love to grade things early. You’ve made a great team. Have a great rest of your day.”

 

Maggie and I thank her and go to head out the classroom.

 

—Maggie POV—

 

I hold the door open for Alex, and when she leaves, I go to follow her out. But I stop at the sound of my name. I turn to Marthe.

“Maggie, may I speak with you for a moment?” she asks.

 

My heart drops. I look at her and then back to Alex.

 

“It’s okay,” she says, “Go. I’ll wait.”

 

“Okay,” I say, a bit breathless. My body starts to tingle as if sensing there was something coming.

Alex smiles, stroking a hand down my back. “See you soon,” And then she’s gone. The door clicks shut.

 

When I look back to Marthe, she nods towards a chair in front of her. I walk up to it and take a seat, adjusting myself when I get nervous under her gaze.

“I haven’t been a big fan of you and Alex’s friendship from the beginning, and to be completely honest with you, I’m still not. I don't quite trust you," she starts.

I look down, a bit upset at that, but I breathe through it. I brush my hair back from my face and look at her directly as she sits down at her desk and continues to speak.

 

“But she does. And I think you’re the only one of the few friends she has who really understands what she’s going through.” She says, and I nod slowly after a moment of hesitation. “She might not show it, or tell you, but Alex needs someone right now. And I assume that you will be that someone, so, Maggie, please... take care of her.”

“I will,” I promise.

 

“Good.” Marth collects the papers on her desk and taps them on her desk, jogging them.

 

I tug at my bottom lip with my teeth, releasing it when I send a timid smile in Marthe’s direction. “So, I’m guessing you’re warming up to me, huh?”

 

“I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. So far, I am fond of who you are becoming. And I’ve always believed that everyone has some good in them, they just need someone to draw that person out.” She pushes the folder aside and locks her fingers on top of the desk. “And with that, Miss Sawyer. I’ll see you next class.”

 

I break the imaginary ice that had frozen over my feet. I back away. “See you,” I say.

 

I leave the classroom in a daze, barely noticing the direction I was walking in.

 

_Take care of her._

\---

 

I don’t see Alex anywhere outside, so I text her to let her know where I am. A couple of minutes later, I hear the double doors slam open, and I turn at the sound. Alex waves at me, quickly jogging over until she’s beside me. She’s still out of breath when she speaks.

 

"Sorry, had to call my mom.”

 

“She said it’s fine right? I don't want to go to jail for kidnapping,” I joke, which makes her laugh.

 

“You can't go to jail, you’re too pretty.”

 

I look at her, smiling as I tilt my head to the side. “You getting soft on me?”

 

She shrugs. “Maybe.”

 

I suck my teeth, laughing as I push her shoulder away gently.

 

I hear keys jingle and find James and Lucy walking toward. “Hey guys,” he says, I am interrupting something?” I shake my head.

 

“No, just us waiting for you two.”

 

"Well, here I am.”

 

Without another work, the four of us get into the car, and Lucy immediately blasts music from the playlist on her phone. Alex and I attempt to make conversation over the music, but with the nerves and volume, were unsuccessful. I settle with singing along to the lyrics come up, and Alex watches me, obvious amusement on her face.

 

In no time, we roll up to my apartment, and I salute James with a loud ‘Thank you!’ before leading Alex along with me up to my apartment.

 

We run into my aunt on her way out the door, who tells us she’s running a quick errand and she’ll be right back. I lock the door behind me and Alex and we make our way up to my bedroom.

 

I shuffle over to my wardrobe and pick out a few pants, glancing at Alex as I measure them against my legs. I look for another pair, set on finding something she can get comfortable in.

 

“Are you trying to find me some pajamas?” she asks.

 

I stop, turning to her. “Yeah, actually. Are you a wizard or something?”

 

“Lucky guess,” Alex says, shrugging. “You don’t have to do that. I’m wearing joggers and a t-shirt. I can sleep in these, I’ll be fine.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Alex nods and I close the first drawer of my wardrobe and open the second to find pajamas for myself. After I grab a pair of shorts and an oversized shirt, I go to the bathroom to change. When I get back to my room, I find Alex on the bed, a textbook and notebook spread out in front of her.

 

“Hey, I thought we were long overdue for a tutor session today. Take out your math stuff?”

 

“What? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I say, pushing my bag under the bed with my feet.

 

“Don't lie to me, Sawyer,” she says, reaching down to my bag.

 

I smile goofily and slide the bag completely out of reach.“There’s nothing in that.”

 

“Maggie!”

 

“I don't want to do math tonight,” I whine, flopping on the bed rolling over.

 

“But we’re gonna start falling behind!”

 

“Only a little bit. We can catch up. Right?” I say, pushing my lower lip out.

 

“No, no, stop that. Puppy eyes don’t work on me, I’ve had years to build up my tolerance because of Kara,” she says, poking my cheek with her finger.

 

“You don’t even have your stuff with you.”

 

“What do you think all of this is?” Alex motions over all of her things.

 

I stretch, intentionally but carefully pushing her things over the edge of the bed.

 

“ _Nothing_...”

 

“Maggie! I swear to god,” Alex laughs, flinging a pillow at me, which hits me in the face. I groan, pillow falling into my arms, and I dodge another swat. She nails me.

“Uf—Hey! Cut it out!” I yelp, trying to rip the pillow out of Alex’s grasp, making us tumble over each other on the bed, cracking the both of us up.

 

“Okay, okay," I say, relenting and letting my body flop back on the bed.

 

“So…. mathematics?” she says.

 

“We always have tomorrow,” I counter. She squints at me for a moment and then sighs.

“ _Fine_ , you win. Just this _once_.”

 

“Perfect.” I lean up to swipe the discarded pillow at the foot of the bed and tuck it under my head as I lean back. “Now, we can take a nice, long nap.”

 

“C’mon, don’t be lazy, Sawyer.”

 

I whack her with the pillow and she just raises her eyebrows in response. “Really, Maggie?”

I laugh as she takes the pillow from my hand and traps it in her lap, crossing her legs. Right then, Cheetos runs into the room, jumping onto her. She giggles, avoiding his persistent licking and scratching his sides. After a minute, his tail wagging calms down and he ambles towards me.

 

“You’ve had a day, don’t you think?” I say, patting Cheetos head as he noses his way between us. I see Alex’s shoulders droop, her solid demeanor melt, and she lays her head on the pillow, finally giving in.

 

“Okay. You win.”

 

With Cheetos’ head resting on her belly, she falls asleep. She turns away from me, and I scootch as close as I can to her with Cheetos between us and rest my forehead on the back of her shoulder.

 

I follow them, falling into a dreamless sleep not long after that.

 

…

 

I inhale a sharp breath and my eyes pop open as I hear knocking on my door. When I look down, I notice Cheetos is gone. I look over my shoulder to see my aunt smiling at me.

 

“I'm home,” she whispers. “You helping with dinner tonight?”

 

I nod and she retreats to the kitchen. I lean up, admiring Alex’s peaceful face for a moment before running a hand in her hair to stir her awake. Just so she wouldn’t wake up alone wondering where I’d gone to.

“Alex, I’m gonna help make us something to eat, okay?” I say, patting her side.

 

“Okay, I’ll help” Alex heaves herself up and off the bed, ignoring my protests,  and follows me to the kitchen.

 

We give Aunt Rosa a hand with chopping the vegetables while she sets up the pots and pans with everything else she needs. It doesn’t take long as we all thought  for us to have a three course meal in front of us. We make conversation at the table, the air warm and comforting over us.

 

When we’re all finished eating, I collect the dishes to wash them. And, again, unwilling to accept the fact that she’s a guest in this house, she helps wash them with me. When we’re done, I flick my fingers at her face and she glares at me when the droplets of water hit her face.

 

I laugh when she does the same thing back.

 

After finishing up, I let Aunt Rosa know we’re going back into my room. Once Alex and I get settled there, a silence falls between us. A few minutes pass, the sun sets, and I hear the crickets begin to chirp outside.

“You’re quiet,” I say.

 

“I’m always quiet.”

 

I give her a look.

 

“Alex.”

 

It’s sudden.

 

“I'm gay," Alex whispers, gazing up at the ceiling.

 

For some reason, I feel my heart flutter. Maybe I didn’t expect her to say it so quickly. “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

She sniffles, and I let her gather herself before I speak again. “Who else have you told?” I ask softly.

 

“Just you and Marthe.”

 

I furrow my brows in confusion. “No one else?”

 

“No,” she whispers, “I’m scared.”

 

I hum in understanding, and I don’t push her to say more.

 

“Something happened when I—” Alex’s chest heaves and her voice breaks, and her eyes start to water. I scoot closer towards her, the bed creaking, and I put a hand on her jaw to encourage her to look at me.

 

“Hey. You don't have to talk about this if you don't want too. I’d never force you to.”

I stroke her jaw with a gentle thumb as she takes a deep breath and blinks the tears out her eyes. Alex looks away, back to the white ceiling to paint a memory on the blank canvas. She brings up a hand to hold my wrist still.

“I had this friend, Vicki Donahue. When I was fourteen,” Alex starts, “I used to love sleeping over at her house, in her room... in her bed.” She shakes her head, the slightest of smiles on her face that falls as she continues on. “We were close, you know? We did _everything_ together. Homework, the beach, movies, s-summers…”

 

When Alex’s voice cracks, I take her hand into mine and stroke her knuckles. “What happened?” I ask. Gently, comforting and coaxing.

 

“I… On her birthday, I d-did something.”

 

Alex squeezes my hand tight.

 

… --- …

Alex POV

Flashback

_I jolt in surprise two familiar arms wrap themselves around my waist. I rest my arms on top of them, and I turn to look at Vicki._

 

_“Hey.”_

 

_“Hey” I whisper back to her, a stupid grin on my face._

_“Are you coming to my birthday sleepover party this weekend?” Vicki says, playfully squeezing me tight and releasing me right after._

 

_“Of course, wouldn’t miss it for the world. Us, movies and candy?”_

 

_“It wouldn’t be a party without those things!” she says, “We just got a few more people that are going to keeping us company this year._

 

_I tilt my head. “Oh? Who else is coming?”_

 

_“Simon, Carly, and Jessica.”_

 

_“Oh, okay. Cool.”_

_"Perfect.” Vicki bounces on her toes and turns around. “See you Friday!” she says, calling over her shoulder._

 

_I smile wide, my heart pounding in my chest as I pull my textbook from my locker._

 

_\---_

 

_“Have a good day, sweetie, see you tomorrow,” Mom says, pecking my cheek._

 

_She hands me my backpack and I give her a quick hug. “Thanks, you too!” I say._

 

_I head out the door and run down the driveway to the jeep parked at the end, Vicki’s mom’s car. But Vicki’s driving it. I open the car door and hug her over the dashboard._

 

_“Happy birthday!”_

 

_“Thank you,” she says, giggling. Vicki leans back from the hug and puts her hands on the wheel. “Ready to go?”_

 

_I nod, and Vicki puts the car in drive and does a loop out of the driveway and onto the road. When we get to her house, we lock arms and walk up to the door. When we are in, we pass the kitchen, and I wave to her mom when she calls my name._

 

_“Evening, Mrs. Donahue!”_

 

_Vicki leads me upstairs and into her room, where I throw my bag to the corner and flop on the bed. Vicki drags me out of bed and convinces me to help her set up and pull the board games from the top of her closet._

 

_Simon shows up first, and he, Vicki and I set out the snacks. Not too long after that, Carly and Jessica show up, pulling Vicki into an enthusiastic birthday hug._

 

 _With everyone there, we start the night off watching_ She’s All That _—a communal decision—while munching on the sugar buffet on the coffee table. After that, we play_ Life _, at least ten rounds of_ Twister _, and the rest of the evening on the_ Wii _. And when the sun had disappeared from the sky, we all decide to turn in for the night. We take turns showering and using the bathroom to change, and when we’re all ready, we sort out the sleeping arrangements._

 

 _“Alex sleeps with me,” Vicki had said, “She’s the only one who doesn’t kick_ or _snore.”_

 

_Simon, Carly, and Jessica had all squawked in protest, but I end up next to Vicki anyway._

 

_When everyone settles in, Vicki puts a random rom-com in the DVD player and presses play. She and I are the only ones who make it to the credits, the rest having fallen to sleep about halfway through. I hear Vicki dig the remote from under her pillow and press the power button. In a flash of white and a quick buzz, the room is dark. Quiet, almost, minus the hum of the fan and Carly’s light snoring._

 

_“Are you awake?” Vicki asks, peeking over my shoulder._

 

_I look her straight in the eye. “Nope.”_

 

_She turns red from attempting to hold in her laughter, releasing only just a few breathless wheezes in the soft ambiance of her bedroom. I’m sure I’m doing the same as she swats at my shoulder, shushing me. I sigh one last time, finally able to catch my breath, and Vicki wipes a tear from her eye._

_And for a moment, she just... looks at me._

_I smile, and she returns it timidly. She whispers, her voice barely audible over the noise of the fan._

_“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had Alex.”_

 

_“And you’re mine,” I whisper back to her._

 

_She shifts, tracing her fingers around my wrists and taking my hands in hers._

 

_“I like you.”_

 

_My lashes flutter my eyes as she leans her forehead against mine._

_“I like you, too.”_

 

_She leans up, kissing my forehead softly and reclining back onto the pillow, her face just centimeters away from mine._

 

_I bite my lips, gaze falling from her eyes, down the slope of her nose, to her lips._

 

_The mattress creaks as I lean up on an elbow, keeping our heads close. I run my fingers through her hair, tuck a lock of it behind her ear, and resting my palm below her jaw, hoping she doesn’t notice how clammy it’s become._

 

_Our eyes lock, and I see her lips tenderly curl into the smallest of smiles. Something inside me flutters, and, with her, I feel a rightness I’ve never felt before. She slides a hand up my arm to hold my wrist in place, and, maybe it was the sugar, the adrenaline, or the lightness of the day that make me do it, but I look into her eyes, lean closer, and brush the tip of my nose with hers._

 

_Her eyes flutter closed and mine follow._

 

_I lean in, and when I feel her shaky breath caress my lips…_

_Two hands shove me backward and I tumble over the edge of the bed._

_I scramble to find purchase, but ultimately end up on my ass, weight falling onto whoever’s under me. Blood rushing through my ears, I shoot up, standing on shaky legs._

_“Alex!” Simon yells, breathless and disoriented, “You could’ve killed me!”_

 

_Shaking. “S-sorry!”_

 

_I feel a sharp pain centering around my tailbone, but barely notice it, almost numb and overwhelmed with panic. I look up and see Vicky, eyes wild, and fisting the duvet between her fingers._

 

_In milliseconds, I see her vulnerability morph into anger._

_“I—You’re_ disgusting _,” she says._

 

_My lip trembles. “... What?”_

 

_“Woah, hey, what happened?” Jessica asks, standing up, Carly doing the same.._

_“S-she tried to-to kiss me!" Vicki shouts, pointing at me._

 

_Everyone directs their eyes to me and I feel my face flush under their silent scrutiny._

 

 _“What, are you_ gay _or something?” Simon accuses._

 

 _My heart thuds against my chest._ Was I?

 

_Heart in my throat, I could barely get the words out. “What? N-no, I just—"_

 

_“You know what? Get out. Just get out, I don’t want you in my house!”_

 

 _“Vicki, I—What did I_ do _?”_

 

 _“You tried to_ kiss _me, Alex!”_

 

_“I like you, Vicki!” I say, gasping. “I thought—”_

 

_“Get out.”_

 

_“What?”_

 

_“I said get out. Just—Get out of my house! Now!”_

 

_I could not try to contain my sadness as a tear was going down on my cheek. I snatch my overnight bag and run down the stairs, tripping over the last few steps. I hear Vicki’s mom call out to me in concern, but I ignore her, running out of the house and into the street. I make it a block and a half before I collapse onto the sidewalk._

 

_With shaking hands, I pull out my phone and dial my mom's number, hunching over as I put the phone to my ear._

 

_“Hey, sweetie! How’s everything, having fun?”_

 

_The sound of my mother’s voice is the nail in the coffin. I suck in a desperate breath, and my voice breaks as I begin to sob._

 

_“Alex? What’s wrong? What happened?”_

 

_I try to speak, but all I could do was shake my head, unable to answer, not knowing what to tell her._

 

_“Alex?”_

_“I-I had—She-—C-can you pick me up, please?”_

 

_“Of course, I’m on my way, sweetie, okay?”_

 

_I hear the keys jingle on the other side of the line as Mom takes them._

 

_“Ten minutes, okay? I’m coming as fast as I can, sweetheart.”_

 

_On the other side of the line, I hear a car start. The call cuts off._

 

_I flip my phone closed. I stare at the time blinking back at me._

 

_12:04 a.m._

 

_I toss the phone to my feet and bury my head into my knees, wrapping my arms around myself. I watch as a tear trails down my nose and drops to the dry asphalt, darkening it. Another one falls. Another…_

 

_Wrapped up in my own mind, I barely notice the car that pulls up in front of me minutes later. I didn’t even have time to get up myself, given in seconds, I feel my mom tug me up by the arm, calling my name._

 

_I feel like a dead weight as she holds me up. She tilts my chin up towards her face, but I keep my gaze on the sidewalk..._

 

 _“Alex, sweetie, what_ happened _?” Mom pulls me into her chest and I reciprocate the hug, holding onto her as tight as I’ve ever had in my life. She combs a hand through my hair and gives me a quick kiss on my forehead._

 

_“C’mon, let's go home, I’ll make you some hot chocolate. Anything you want, hon, okay?”_

_She opens the passenger's side door and leads me into it, and I oblige limply. I watch blankly as Mom picks up my bag and phone from the floor. She pulls open the door to the back and I hear my things tumble onto the leather seats. She slams the door closed and scurries to the wheel._

 

_The radio plays low. Otherwise, the entire ride is spent in silence, not counting my sniffling._

_When we get to the house and open the door, Kara’s waiting in the kitchen. When she hears the jingle of keys, she whips her head around and shoots up from her chair, her face written with worry._

 

_“Kara, go back to sleep. It’s late.”_

 

_“I was worried,” she says simply, floorboards whining as she inches towards us._

 

_Kara wraps her arms around me, and I stand there still for a moment._

 

_And then, I let them wrap their warmth, their care, around me. Because right now, I need my family. So I let Mom and Kara coddle me, make me hot chocolate, put on a movie marathon we all know we won’t even finish at this time of night._

 

_When I wake up next, I notice I’m in my mother’s room, my head in her lap.I relax, enjoying the feeling of her running her fingers through my hair like a parent would a baby._

 

_It takes me a full ten minutes to speak._

 

_“Can I switch schools?” I ask, just above a whisper._

 

_Mom sighs. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but… I don’t think I can do that for you. We’re already moving to National City for your next year of high school. Changing schools now, with your scholarship already in place… it’s… it’s too much of a risk.” Mom shifts, she looks at me, cupping my cheek. “Four more months. Just four. Can you do that for me?”_

 

No. Yes? I don’t know.

 

_“Yeah. Okay,” I say, turning away from her again._

 

_“Can you tell me what happened at Vicki’s house?” Mom says, stroking my back. “Do you want to talk about it?”_

 

_I bury my head into my mom’s shoulder, fresh tears running down my face. I shake my head, and I know she understood._

 

_“Oh, it’s okay, baby, it’s okay...” she says, combing her fingers through my hair. “Whenever you’re ready ...”_

… --- _End Flashback_ \---…

Alex recounts the last few details of the memory, and when she’s finished, she lets out a shaky breath that I can feel rumble beneath my palm anchored to her ribcage.

“I think… I think after that, I just… shoved it down until I couldn’t remember it anymore. Like it never happened at all. And all this time, I felt… I felt there was something wrong inside me. But I couldn’t… I couldn’t figure out what it was.”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Alex,” I say, and she squeezes her eyes shut, nodding as a few more tears escape from her eyes. I wipe them away with a careful thumb and bring my hand down to hold hers.

“I’m so sorry. That that happened to you.”

 

She turns her head to me, creasing the pillow, and I want to tell her something magical.  Pretty words that would make her feel better, something that would heal her, heart and soul. Because seeing her like this? So sad, lost, vulnerable, just broke my heart.

 

But I couldn’t. I had no words. So I just run my fingers through her hair, playing with it, and hold her close.

 

“Thank you for telling me.”

 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have dropped a bomb on you like this, I just—”

 

“It’s not the first time someone’s ever dropped a bomb on me,” I joke, and she releases a strained laugh before sighing.

 

“I want-I want to tell my mom. And my sister. But…what if-what if it goes wrong? What if they don’t l-love me anymore? Like Vicki?”

 

“I don’t think it will,” I say, smiling at the thought of Kara and her personality. My smile falls as I think back to my own parents, and I look at Alex seriously. “And even if it does, I’ll be here for you. I’ll be here for you with a bed to share and all. _Whatever_ you need.”

 

A fresh bout of tears roll down her cheeks, and I pull her in close to my chest. I kiss her temple, pressing my cheek against her hear. I feel her stuttered breath warm my shirt just above my heart.

 

“It’ll be okay.”

 

She squeezes me tight. As if I’d disappear without her to ground me.

 

“I hope so.”

 

With a hand running up and down her back, I lull her to sleep. I drag the edge of an extra blanket at the bottom of my bed up with my heel and carefully pull it over her shoulders.

 

My eyes start to droop, and, in the warmth of Alex’s embrace, I fall asleep, feeling tightness in my chest. Content. And, half asleep, I wish I could feel this with her. Forever.

 

 

_Dark star- Jaymes Young-_

_I've looked a long time to find you, I drifted through the universe just to lay beside you_

_Anyway you want me to take I'll go, but there's the thing about me that you just don't know_

_If I told you where I've been, would you still call me baby_

_And if I told you everything would you call me crazy, cause baby I'm a dark star_

_My heart was burning out of the fire, I lost love a thousand year ago and still can't find her_

_I don’t love like I used to, but I've got a story I could tell if you want to_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last! We’ve got the coming out scene! And, bonus, we got Maggie being there for her and more development with their relationship. Can’t wait for the next chapter!


	18. I Am In This With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no excuse, and there wasn’t any use in finding one. It’s obvious to me. Your smile? Your heart?Your heart. You, just you? It all makes me feel like a kid again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Class is cancelled. How will Alex and Maggie spend the day together?

 

-Wednesday-

-September 25, 2019-

 

I’m still embracing Alex when I wake up.

 

Instead of opening my eyes to the sun, to Alex, I wrap my arms just a little bit tighter around her. She snuggles into me, nestling her head on my shoulder.

 

I jolt awake when I feel Alex shift in my arms. I sweep her hair away from her face, and she opens her eyes.

 

“Morning,” Alex mumbles, stretching under the duvet.

 

“Good morning,” I run my fingers through her hair, watching as Alex rubs at her face and make the dry tear tracks disappear. “How are you?”

Alex sighs heavily, flopping her arm back down to the bed fisting the sheets. “I’m okay.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Alex says. She melts back into the bed as I continue to rake her hair away from her face and run my hand down her back. “Not looking forward to get to school today.”

 

“Oh, well, then don’t, I have some good news for you.”

 

Alex pulls away, looking at me in confusion. “What do you mean?”

 

“Marthe sent an email this morning. She’s not going to be in class today.”

 

I look at her as she smiles, collapsing back onto the bed.

 

“Can we stay in this bed? Forever?” Alex brings to duvet to cover her face, so her following giggles are muffled.

 

I smirk at her. “I don’t know about forever, but… maybe we can just settle for the morning. I think I’m gonna have to give a hand to my aunt at the restaurant.”

 

“ _ No _ . Stay, quit your job…”

 

“I don’t know, I’m sure she can use a hand.”

 

“Call in sick.” She coughs into her fist. “We’ve got the black lung.”

 

I laugh, and I laugh even harder when I hear her stomach grumble.

 

“Looks like I  _ am _ staying in. Sounds like I can’t keep your stomach waiting for fuel,” I say. “Stay here, I’ll get you breakfast.”

 

“Breakfast in bed? What did I do to deserve that?”

 

“I'm just really proud of you.” I moved my arm.“So?”

 

_ As they say, the way to a woman’s heart is her stomach.  _

 

“I can never say no to that.”

 

I get up from the bed, telling her she can freshen up in the bathroom, and make my way to the kitchen.

 

I start the scrambled eggs first, and then grab another pan for the bacon. I’ve just started frying it when I hear the patter of footsteps coming from behind me. I look over my shoulder to see Alex brushing her tangled and messy hair with her fingers.

I giggle, and she looks up to me and does the same.

 

Alex ambles towards me, ending up leaning on the counter beside the oven. “The smell of bacon was calling me,” she says seriously.

I laugh, which gets me another bright smile.

 

Alex looks around for a moment. “Anything I can do to help?”

 

“You mind setting the table? Please and thank you?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve got it.”

 

Alex searches through the cabinets to find plates, and when she does, she brings them to the table. She does the same with the utensils and cups.

 

I tell her the food’s done, and she brings up a plate to serve herself.

 

“No, no, no, no. You, sit down,” I say, and she laughs, sitting back down. I bring the pan over to her and split the bacon between our plates, doing the same with the scrambled eggs.

 

“That good?”

 

“Perfect.”

 

I smile. “Good.” I hand her a fork, and she takes it from my hand gratefully.

 

As soon as I sit down to eat, she digs right in. I’m on my second egg when I notice she’s already swallowed everything whole. When she notices me staring, she blushes and covers her mouth with her hand, apologizing.

 

“It’s fine,” I laugh, taking a bite of my own food. “It’s just—You really  _ were _ starving!”

 

Like the night before, Alex helps me wash the dishes. I wash and she dries.

 

When everything is clean, I pass her a hand towel to dry her hands and take one for my own hands. “I want to do something for you,” I say.

 

Alex looks at me pointedly, slumping her shoulders. “Maggie, you’ve done so much for me already. You can’t.”

 

“I want to,” I walk closer to her, folding the hand towels over the oven handle.

 

Alex watches as I brush a strand of hair behind my ear. She looks back into my eyes. “What would we even do? Where would we go?”

 

“The Science Museum.”

 

“I haven’t been there since I was little.”

 

“Then it’s perfect.”

 

Alex laughs. “And how do you think we’re going to get there.”

 

“By train. You can lead the way,” I say, “You won’t lose me, will you?”

 

“I’d never.”

 

With that, Maggie rushes to her room to pick out clothes for the evening. She changes in the bathroom, and then helps Alex looks for something that’d fit her comfortably. They brush their teeth, put on their coats, and they’re ready to go.

 

…

 

The closest trolley stop is a ten minute walk away from my apartment. Once we get there, we sit down on a bench while we wait for the next train to come by. I breathe in, enjoying the fresh air.

 

“Have you ever taken the train?” Alex asks.

 

“When I was younger, yeah.”

 

She hums, smiling. “You should have seen Kara when she first took it. She could barely keep her balance.”

 

I laugh, picturing it, and then the train pulls up in front of us. We line up behind a few people and when we’re in, Alex taps her card on the farebox and leads us up to the higher floor. We sit facing each other, with a small table between us.

 

Some way or another, Alex ends up going on a tangent about how the mechanics of the cards and how they work. After a while, the conversation dies down into comfortable silence. I watch as everything passes by in a blur.

 

I look to Alex, and in the sunlight, I could see the small freckles that litter her face. There’s some across her nose, a few on the sides of her cheeks, above her lip—

 

I see the beginnings of a smile start to form on her face, and when I look up to her eyes, I see she’s looking at me.

 

_ Busted. _

 

I smile back at her and redirect my gaze out the window, too aware of her eyes still on me.

 

We Green Line next, and by some stroke of luck, we’re able to score seats despite the impending rush hour. Once we’re at our stop, Alex leads us to the next platform, the Blue Line, which is packed. I bounce on my leg, a bit anxious about the crowd. The train arrives, and people practically topple over each other to get in first.

 

There’s still space left, so we step on as well. Alex grabs a hold onto the horizontal pole above her, and since I’m a bit too short to reach—even when I try to subtly stand on my toes—so I look around for something else to grab onto.

 

“Hold onto me.”

I turn to face her. “What?”

 

Just as the words come out of my mouth, the train lurches. I stumble forward into Alex’s chest, and as I look up to apologize, I end up grazing her nose with mine.

 

She has hazel eyes.

 

Alex wraps one arm around my waist, mimicking mine on her own.

 

“Just like that,” she whispers. A shy smile on her face.

 

I curl my fingers into the fabric of Alex’s coat, and, a bit bashfully, lay my head on her shoulder so she couldn’t see my expression. I look at my reflection in the window and see a blush creeping up my neck.

 

My eyes flutter closed and I exhale a shaky breath into her shoulder. I wonder what’s come over me today, what’s so different.

 

The train stops.

 

“This is us.”

 

I open my eyes and take a step back from Alex. The train doors hiss open and the crowd starts to pour out onto the platform. She steps back, and I feel a slight chill go through my body, missing her warmth.

 

She links her fingers with mine and leads me off the train. We make it through the crowd together.

 

. . .

 

Five minutes on foot and we’re there at the museum. I give Alex cash for the tickets and run to the bathroom real quick.

 

When I’m out, Alex is leaning on the wall across from the bathroom door. I walk up to her and she passes me a ticket. She bounces on her toes.

 

“Ready?”

 

I smile. “As I’ll ever be.”

 

In the Light exhibit, I watch the shadows behind Alex go green and purple under the blue light, and then purple under the red.

 

She looks at me then, and looking back at her, I feel a flutter in my stomach, a lightness in my chest.

 

Her eyes are bright, and she’s bouncing on her toes as she walked further into the room. When I don’t follow, she walks back, taking my hand in hers. I stare at them as she drags me along.

 

I wonder if I’ve ever felt hands so soft, or warm.

…

 

I see the sun is setting outside. I nudge Alex.

 

“It’s getting dark, huh?”

 

“Yeah,” she says, taking a look out the windows. “Do you think we should head back?”

 

I hum, thinking about it. And suddenly, I remember. I look to her, containing the excitement I feel. “Not yet, we have one last thing we’ve gotta see.”

 

I take her hand and pull her toward the nearest elevator, pressing the button for the topmost floor.

 

The elevator pings, letting us know we’ve reached our floor.. We step foot outside of the elevator into a giant room, the size of a theater. The ceiling is curved, making the top half of the room a semisphere. It’s filled with the stars, planets, and galaxies.

 

Alex looks around in wonder, and suddenly, her arms are around me,  holding me close, holding me tight. And before I can do the same to her, she steps back, a bashful look on her face.

 

“Sorry, I just … I don't know.”

 

“You don't have to apologize.”

 

Alex doesn’t respond, instead walking us to the middle of the room, where we’d be able to see every corner of the omnidome. We lay down next to each other.

 

“Wow,” she breathes.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Above us, the universe stares back at us.

 

Alex makes a noise, suddenly pointing up to the sky. “The red spot there, that's Mars.”

 

I gasp dramatically, pointing up as well. “And that white one! It’s the moon!”

 

Alex swats my arm, laughing. “For your  _ information _ , there are many moons. I bet you don’t even know which planet it belongs to. You tried to make fun of me but it didn’t work.”

 

“Neptune. 14,” I point up and she follows my finger as I round it about Neptune’s section. “You can see from how they’re moving.”

 

“Wow,” she says, “Didn’t expect that.”

 

I turn my head to her, and I see the universe in her eyes.

 

She scoots closer, laying her head on my shoulder. A minute goes by.

 

“What am I going to do?”

 

“About what?”

 

She sighs. “My mom. Kara. I have to tell them.”

 

“Alex, it’s not a race,” I stress, “I want you to come out if it’s safe. When you’re comfortable.”

 

“You don’t think it’s too late? That I waited too long?”

 

“You’ve just started to admit it to yourself.”

 

It’s not an answer, but I think she understands.

 

Alex sighs deeply and looks up, it’s when I notice the slight sheen in her eyes.

 

“What did you do?” she asks me, “When you came out?”

 

It surprises me, the question. I blink at her, and look back up at the stars. I clench my fists at the memory for a few moments, blinking.

 

I can’t.

 

“It… It doesn’t matter,” I say, “What matters is, your mom seems to be, like, super supportive. Right?”

 

Alex bites her lip. “I… I don’t know. She hasn’t really said anything bad.” She brings it up again, my family. “How… did your mother take it well? When you told her?”

 

I bit my lip. I look away from her, up to the stars. “Alex, my coming out…” I trail off, sighing.  “I don’t want to scare you.”

 

Alex turns onto her side and soothes my hair. “You won’t.”

 

I close my eyes at the feeling of her fingers running through my hair.

 

“I had this friend when I was fourteen, Eliza Wilkie.”

 

“We hung out in her parent’s basement, watching horror flicks and smoking cigarettes. And I..." I stop to take a breath, “She was the first girl that I knew I liked in a way that was different.”

 

I feel Alex cover her hand with mine

 

“I thought that she liked me too.”

 

“What happened?” Alex whispers.

 

“On Valentine’s Day, I put a card in her locker, declaring my feeling and asking her to the dance. Well—”  I stop, biting my lip and taking a deep breath. Alex grasps my shoulder. Maybe she sensed my stress. My fear, echoing from the past.

 

I continue. “She gave that card to her parents. And then they called my parents…”

 

\--- _ Flashbac _ k---

 

It was winter.

 

_ The bitter taste of cigarettes still sat on my tongue long after Eliza and I finished smoking two of them to the bud. I could still taste it by the time we were in the last quarter of some shitty horror movie she’d found On Demand. _

 

_ We were bundled together on the couch in a thick comforter, feet too close to the ashtray on the coffee table, hiding from infernal the cold of Nebraska. _

 

_ I liked her in a way that was different from other girls. _

 

_ I loved her, like the other girls at school love boys. And like the boys, I wanted to be with her, I wanted to kiss her. _

 

_ “Are you going to the dance?” _

 

_ Eliza fills her mouth with a handful of popcorn. “No, I wasn’t invited, so…” She looks away from the TV for a moment to glance at me. _

 

_ I think she likes me the same way. _

 

_ We don’t talk much after that, she gets sleepy. By the time the credits are rolling, she’s practically dead on her feet. I give her a hug goodbye, hugging her tight, and I grab what little I brought over and start walking home. _

 

_ In ten minutes, I’m at my front door. I pull my house keys out of my coat pocket and, with as little ruckus as I could make, open the door, lock it behind me, and amble up the stairs and into my bedroom. _

 

_ I wash my face, brush my teeth, put on some pajamas, and I’m ready for bed. _

 

_ But after tossing and turning for what feels like hours, I throw the blanket off me and sit at my desk. I grab a pen and paper, and write Eliza a letter that I couldn’t stop thinking about writing since she told me she wasn’t going to the dance. _

 

_ After lots of mistakes, cheesy but honest lines, a few dead pens, and a bunch of paper balls, I write the perfect letter. I make an envelope out of some pink construction paper I found at the bottom of the drawer, decorate it colorfully, and seal it with some tape. _

 

_ I go to sleep at 12:32, nervous excitement coursing through me. _

 

...

 

_ I get to school earlier than I ever had. No one was around, so I confidently slip the card into a slot in her locker as soon as I get to school. _

 

_ I’m bouncing in my seat during homeroom, eager to see if she’d say yes. Would she tell me in our next class together? During lunch. _

 

_ I look at the clock. First period. _

 

_ I don’t see her in Biology. Or English. Or Humanities. Even lunch. _

 

_ Worried, I wonder if she’s absent. _

 

_ Undeterred, I leave school with a bounce in my step, because there’s always tomorrow. _

 

_ I smile, thinking of what she’d say, what dress or suit to wear to the dance. She’d definitely wear a dress. _

 

_ I climb up the stairs on the bus and take the first seat available, a bit near the front, and once I settle in, I put my bag beside me. The students file in, and we’re off in ten minutes flat. _

 

_ Because of the cold, it takes longer than usual for the bus to go its route, but eventually, the bus lets me off a block away from my house. I trud through the snow, coat zipper as high as it can be. As I walk up the sidewalk, I see Dad. _

 

_ He’s standing just off the porch, body rigid and boots buried in the snow. _

 

_ And beside him... _

 

He was on the porch waiting for me.

 

With a little suitcase.

 

_ When I get closer, I stop in my tracks, nervous and scared at the anger on his face. When his eyes locked on mine, I start to walk again, approaching him slowly. I try to keep my body from shaking, from my face revealing the dread that’s coursing through me. _

 

_ I’m a few feet away from him when I opened my mouth to speak. _

 

_ I don’t get one word in before he speaks. _

 

_ “Get in the car, Margarita,” he commands, his voice brusque. He drags the suitcase through the snow and throws it in the trunk of the car. _

 

_ I jolt, following him obediently. I almost trip on the black ice on the sidewalk in my haste. _

 

_ My dad doesn’t even turn in my direction when I yelp. _

 

_ By the time I’m in my seat, I’ve thought of so many ways this can turn into a good thing. A quick trip, right? _

 

_ I peek at Papa through the corner of my eye, and all those positive thoughts shrivel into nothing. _

 

_ I know he’s angry. I just don’t know why. _

 

_ He sits in the driver’s side and starts the engine. He pulls out onto the street, and his knuckles turn white gripping the steering wheel. _

 

I was terrified.

 

_ To calm myself down, I look away from him and turn my head to the window. _

 

We drove in silence.

 

_ I breathe in and out, trying to not let my thoughts spiral. _

 

_ It doesn’t help. _

 

I stare out the window, looking at the icicles and the trees…

 

_ After some time, I’ve calmed down just enough to look at him. _

 

_ I had to know what was happening. My voice is embarrassingly small. “Papi, what did I do?” _

 

_ He turned his head to me, and I don’t expect him to say what he does next. _

 

_ “You shame me.” _

 

_ And then I knew what this was all about. Eliza. My card." _

 

_ I thought my parents would be different. Because they love me. _

 

_ Didn’t they? _

 

She showed it to her parents… 

 

And then they called my parents…

  
  


_ My father steps on the brakes so hard, my body juts forward in my seat, the seat belt digging into my chest hard enough to hurt.  My breaths are shaky, my palms sweaty. My body feels as heavy as lead. _

 

_ I don’t move. _

 

_ “Go.” _

 

_ His voice is gruff when he speaks. _

 

_ I look at him, and to the house in front of us. _

 

_ “Go.” _

 

_ “Pa’…” I plead. _

 

_ Abruptly, Dad unlocks his door, kicking it open. He doesn’t close it, and I watch, the winter chill seeping into my bones, as he stalks around the car to my side of the car. He pulls the door open and drags me out of the car, my suitcase in his other hand. _

 

_ He pounds on the door, and I worry about the entire hall of neighbors stepping out to see what was going on—whatever was going on. _

 

_ I hear the lock scrape against metal, and the door is pulled open gently. She’s my aunt, I know, one I don’t often see except for the occasional holiday. _

 

_ She looks between Dad and I, and I see her face contort in… worry? Fear? _

 

_ She steps aside to let us in, and she directs me to the living room, the furthest room in the house, I notice. I hear the heated whispers, their voices fluctuate in volume. The plastic-covered couch creaks as I lean back into the cushions. _

 

_ I hear my father’s voice grate as he again—I can’t make out what he said—and then it’s suddenly silent. _

 

_ The door slams shut and I feel the floor vibrate under my feet. _

 

_ There’s sniffling. A sigh. _

 

_ I see her frame silhouette the doorway in the corner of my eye. My eyes stay locked to the floor, even when she sits next to me. _

 

_ She explains everything. _

 

And that’s how I was outed. 

 

_ … _

 

_ A blast of warm air hits me as my aunt opens her front door. The worn floorboards creak under her weight. _

 

_ “Maggie? What are you doing out here?” _

 

_ I’m sitting on the steps, shivering in my clothes—the same clothes I’d hugged Ma’ and Pa’ in this morning— and look up at her. “I’m waiting for my Papá to come back..” _

 

_ Her shoulders slump, and I watch as her face falls, defeated. She puts a hand on my arm. _

 

_ “Oh, sweetheart…” _

 

_ And with a crack in her voice, the tears in her eyes… I get my answer. _

 

_ I shake my head, starting to cry and my aunt pulls me into a tight hug. _

 

_ “He’s gonna pick me up, right?” _

 

_ “I don’t think so, honey.” _

 

_ I sob, and my aunt gathers me in her arms, pulls my head into her shoulders and sways. _

 

_ “Why can’t I just l _ ove _ somebody?”  _

 

_ “Oh, hon’, you can, you  _ can _.” _

 

_ I’m so,  so sorry that this is happening to you. They can’t, they won’t, but  I’m going to love you for who you are. And I will never leave you.” _

 

_ I just shake my head, wishing I could believe her.  _

 

But now... I have someone who loves me. I’m already good.

 

...

 

“And that’s how I was outed. And that’s how my dad kick me out and how I ended up living my aunt for 8 years now.” I finish, a tear running down my cheek. She wipes it away.

 

“I… I don’t know what to say,” Alex whispers.“Why didn’t you tell me before?

 

“I wanted it to be better for you, I… ” I shrug. “It’s whatever.”

 

“It’s not.” Alex lays her hand over mine. “If it means anything, you have me now, too. ”

 

“I do,” I whisper, watching as her fingers twine with mine. I look into her eyes, smiling sadly. “I don’t deserve you, do I?” I say it too timidly, too softly, so I look down and I shake my head at how open to her I’m being. Practically serving my heart to her on a silver platter.

 

“Maggie, look at me,” she says, and I do.  “You’ve done so much for me, selflessly. You’re an amazing woman, and you deserve a real, full, happy life.”

 

“Stop, you’re gonna make me cry,” I say, blushing under her attention. I duck my head again, and my hair falls into my face.

 

Alex’s fingers graze my neck, and I peek at her. She pulls my hair back and tucks it behind my ears. And then, she leans in, and then her forehead is propped up against my own.

 

The tip of her nose caresses mine.

 

I feel my lungs shake as they let out a breath.

 

She doesn’t move, and, afraid to shatter whatever this is, I don’t either.

 

We’re frozen there for what feels like a lifetime, and then, the ice melts. My hand slides up Alex’s arm tentatively,fingers grasping around her bicep. Her eyes flutter closed and mine follow. She cups my jaw, and I think she pulls me in. I think I whisper her name, or maybe she whispers mine, and just as I tilt my chin up to unite my lips with hers—

 

_ “Attention, the Museum of Science will be closing in ten minutes...” _

 

We jump apart at the loud crackle of the speakers.

 

_ “Please collect your personal belongings and…” _

 

Alex laughs awkwardly, brushing her hair out of her face. Glancing up at me, she pulls her phone out of her pocket. “I'm gonna call my mom and see if she could pick us up. So we don’t have to deal with the people traffic.”

 

I nod, following her into the elevator. While she’s on the phone, I busy myself by reading the posters on the walls to grant her as much privacy as I could. We step off the elevator when we’re at our floor, and I head to the door, waiting for Alex to come to me when she was ready. I lean on the wall, watching her.

 

Ten seconds pass, and she hangs up the call and shoves her phone in her coat pocket, zipping it up. She spots me after gazing around, and she jogs up.

 

Looking at me, she blows a quick breath of air, as if trying to calm her nerves. I wonder if it's all dramatics. “She almost said no.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yup,” she says. And then she smiles. “And then I told her I had you. She’s on her way.”

 

“Your mom’s too much,” I laughed.

 

We sip up our coats and go outside, sitting on a bench we find just off to the side.

 

“Thank you. For this. And yesterday, too.”

 

I smile. “Anytime.”

 

A car pulls up on the curb and I peek through the window to see if it was Alex’s mom, which Alex figured right away since she’s nudging me up to my feet. We get in the back seat and I thank her for picking us up. For about half the ride, Alex rattles off what we’d seen in the museum, and for the other, Alex is asleep on my shoulder and her mom has put the radio on, low, and is humming relaxingly.

 

I rest my head on top of Alex’s, thinking.

 

What I have for Alex… it was more than a soft spot, a friendship. I haven’t known her long, but I couldn’t imagine a day in my life without her in it. A day without talking, without knowing how her day went, without seeing her smile. 

 

I peek down at Alex’s face, so careful about not jostling her with my movements.

 

There’s so much on my mind, I felt like I could burst.

 

Then, I knew there was one thing I had to do, above all else.

 

I needed to talk to Crystal.

 

 

  
  


 - Something just like this - Chainsmokers -

I've been reading books of old

The legends and the myths

Achilles and his gold

Hercules and his gifts

Spider Man's control

And Batman with his fists

And clearly I don't see myself upon that list

But she said, where'd you wanna go?

How much you wanna risk?

I'm not looking for somebody

With some superhuman gifts

Some superhero

Some fairytale bliss

Just something I can turn to

Somebody I can kiss

I want something just like this

Oh, I want something just like this

I've been reading the books of old

The legends and the myths

The testaments they told

The moon and its eclipse

And Superman unrolls

A suit before he lifts

But I'm not the kind of person that it fits

How much you wanna risk?

I'm not looking for somebody

With some superhuman gifts

Some superhero

Some fairytale bliss

Just something I can turn to

Somebody I can kiss

I want something just like this

Oh, I want something just like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am well aware that they should have kissed, but I’m having too much fun teasing it now that we’re so close ;)

**Author's Note:**

> As I said on twitter, I will be posting twice a month, every first and fifteenth. I hope you enjoy, my friend and I, ViviWrites, have been working on this for a long time. If there is anyone who has skill in English or writing. we still need help in this fic :)! Hope you enjoy as I did to write it.


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